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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

News Archive

UFS awards degrees at autumn graduation ceremony

2009-04-28

The University of the Free State’s (UFS) autumn diploma and graduation ceremony took place this week in the Arena on the South Campus in Bloemfontein (formerly known as the Vista Campus). This arrangement has been made because of the large-scale renovations to the Callie Human Centre on the Main Campus.

Friday, 24 April 2009
Faculties of Health Sciences, Law and Theology Diploma ceremony

Law student’s achievement excels 80%
Four Law students obtained the LLB degree at this year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS) summa cum laude and were awarded the Moritz Bobbert Medal. They are from the left: Lezelle Olivier (80%), Albert Nell (91%) and Amanda du Toit (83%). LiFeng Chien were absent during the photo.

UFS awards degrees at autumn graduation ceremony
Today 331 students and five doctorates in the Faculties of Health Sciences, Law and Theology received their qualifications at this year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS). Michael Molahloe (left) and Mamokete Ntholeng both received their LL.B. degrees in the Faculty of Law.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

This year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS) was held on the South Campus. From the group of students that received their qualification from the Faculty of Law, is from the left: Janine Jonson, Anneska van der Spoel, Andrea Coetzer, and Jo-Mari Visser.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

Students in Nursing receive their degree
A group of students from the Faculty of Health Sciences received their B.Soc.Sc. degree at this year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS). At the occasion were, from the left: Ruth Beukes, Basetsana Panana, and Dipontsheng Tsolo.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

UFS Faculty of Health Sciences awards degrees
Liezl Swanepoel (left) and Heide van der Merwe received their BSocSC degrees at the University of the Free State’s (UFS) autumn graduation ceremony.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

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Thursday, 23 April 2009
Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences & Chancellor’s Dinner

UFS awards unique doctorate
Dr Rodney Douglas, who had never obtained any formal undergraduate qualification, this week received a Ph.D. in Geography and Geology during the autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS). The name of his thesis is “A new perspective on the geohydrological and surface processes controlling the depositional environment at the Florisbad archaeozoological site”. He had four papers published in journals that were related to his thesis. He obtained his South African Museums Association Diploma in Biology in 1988 and his M.Sc. in Environmental Biology at the University of Natal, Durban in 1992. He was accepted as a Master's degree student at that university based on research that he had conducted on, amongst others, the diets of reptiles. He has been working at the Department of Herpetology at the National Museum, Bloemfontein since 1984, where he holds the post of Principal Museum Scientist and Head of Department.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

Chancellor’s Dinner: UFS honours doctoral students
Last night, the University of the Free State (UFS) honoured students who had received their Ph.D. degrees at the autumn graduation ceremony this past week, at the Chancellor’s Dinner. A total of 25 doctorates were awarded during the respective ceremonies. Attending the occasion were, from the left: Dr Annemarie Kühn, Ph.D. in Chemistry, Prof. Jeanet Conradie, Department of Chemistry at the UFS and Dr Kühn’s promoter, Prof. Teuns Verschoor, Acting Rector of the UFS, Prof. Corene de Wet, Department of Comparative Education and Education Management at the UFS, and Dr Mafu Rakometsi, Chief Executive Officer of Umalusi and former head of the Free State Department of Education who received a Ph.D. in History. Prof. De Wet is Dr Rakometsi's co-promoter and the late Prof. Leo Barnard, former Head of the Department of History at the UFS, who passed away at the beginning of April 2009, was his promoter.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

Mrs Annemarie Kilian, Mr Willem Kilian (BSc. Hons) and Prof Stephanus Kilian
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

Mr Jaco van der Merwe, Mr Renico Pretorius and Mr Rion Terblanche (all BSc. Quantity Survying)
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

Ms Mamakoanyane Amelia Shata (BSc. Genetics and BSc. Hons. Plant Molecular Biology) and Mrs Maente Adelinah Shata.
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

Mr Maurice Ambrose and Mr Owen Monk (both BSc. Quantity Survying).
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

Ms Tobeka Mehlomekhulu (Lecturer: Department of Geography), Mr Neo Mokgosi (BSc. Hons. Genetics) and Ms Nwabisa Mehlomekhulu (BSc. Hons. Food Science).
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

Mr John Mdane, Mr Fana Mdane (BSc. Information Technology) and Mrs Agnes Mdane
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

Mr Kevin Vermaak (BSc. Hons. Geohydrology) and Ms Michelle Steenkamp (BSc. Hons. Geology).
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

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21 April 2009
Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences

Prof. Magda Fourie's daughter graduates
Nadia Fourie, daughter of Prof. Magda Fourie, former Vice-Rector: Academic Planning at the UFS and now Vice-Rector: Teaching at Stellenbosch University, received the B.Com. Law degree.
Photo: Lacea Loader

724 degrees were awarded during the ceremony of the Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences. Here are, from the left: Simon Serutla, B.Com. Accounting, Lourencia Hamuaka, B.Com. Honours in Financial Economics and Investment Management, Sunet Opperman, B. Accounting, and Yolandi Greyling, B. Accounting.
Photo: Lacea Loader

Students in the Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences graduated this week during the University of the Free State's (UFS) autumn graduation ceremony. Altogether 724 degrees were conferred. Here are, from the left: Marie-Louise Lombard, B.Com. Law, Adriaan van der Merwe, B.Com. Law and member of the Student Representative Council (Legal and Constitutional Affairs), Basanio Ncike, B.Com. Economics, and Richard Schooling, B.Com. Banking.
Photo: Lacea Loader

Center for Accounting honours top achievers
The Centre for Accounting at the University of the Free State (UFS) honoured the top ten students in the third-year B.Com. and B.Com. Hons. programmes respectively during this week's autumn graduation ceremony. Here are, from the left: Prof. Ronell Britz, Chairperson of the centre, Nils Kotze, first place in the B.Com. third-year group, and Madri Victor, first place in the B.Com. Hons. group; back: Prof. Hentie van Wyk, Programme Director: Accountant Training.
Photo: Stephen Collett

Accounting firms in Free State help with recognition of top achievers
Accounting firms in the Free State have contributed to a fund at the University of the Free State’s (UFS) Centre for Accounting to give recognition to top achievers in the third-year programme for the B.Com. and B.Com Hons. degrees respectively this week. It is evidence of the good relationship that exists between the Centre and the South African Institute for Chartered Accountants (SAICA), Free State. Here, from the left, are: Mr Pieter Clase, CoetzeeSmit Chartered Accountants, Mr Oswald Wentworth, KPMG, Mr Ettienne van Niekerk, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Herman Leach, Gobodo Inc. Chartered Accountants, and Mr Stefan Strydom, Havenga, Rossouw & Viljoen; front: Mr Ian Smit, Enslins Bloemfontein, Ms Thelma Crossman, Mazars, and Ms Daphline O'Brien, Ernst & Young.
Photo: Stephen Collett

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20 April 2009
Faculty of Education, Faculty of the Humanities.

CHESD awards 15 masters degrees
A group of 15 students received the Structured M.A. (Higher Education Studies) of the Centre for Higher Education Studies and Development (CHESD) at this year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS). This is the biggest group in the centre's history to be awarded master’s degrees, while four of the students received distinctions. Also of interest is that six of the 15 students already have doctoral degrees. At the occasion were, from the left: Dr Dipane Hlalele, Qwaqwa Campus, Ms Liesl Hoare, Central Univeristy of Technology, Welkom Campus (best achiever), and Dr Fanus van Tonder, Programme Director: Higher Education Studies and Research, CHESD. Ms Hoare received the Deans medal in the Faculty of the Humanities as the best master’s graduate student at the graduation ceremony. At the faculty’s prize function she also received the Kovsie-Alumni Trust award as the best M.A student in the faculty. She also received the CHESD Prize for the best achievement in the Structured M.A. (Higher Education Studies).
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

UFS awards degrees at autumn graduation ceremony
Five hundred and eighty six degrees and nine doctorates were awarded this week during this year's autumn graduation ceremony on the South Campus of the University of the Free State (UFS) to students in the Faculty of the Humanities. At the occasion were, from the left: Nicola Bekker, Madré van der Merwe and Esté Scholtz. All three the ladies received the qualification B.A. Language Practice.
Photo: Lacea Loader

This year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS) is held on the South Campus in Bloemfontein. Today a group of students from the Programme: Governance and Political Transformation in the Faculty of the Humanities received their qualification. From the left, front are: Dr Tania Coetzee, Head of the Programme: Governance and Political Transformation, and Mr Itumeleng Liba, Chief Operation Officer at CENTLEC; back: Mr Kennett Sinclair, Vice-Chairperson of COPE in the Northern Cape, Ms Nicole Joannou, Goldfields Business and Catering, and Mr Tembeni Lobe from Bloemfontein.
Photo: Lacea Loader

Some of the students who received their qualifications during this week's graduation ceremony of the Faculty of the Humanities were, from the left: Shu-Jung Chan, B.Mus. Hons., Brian Gxavu, B.Mus., and Mpolokeng Lepote, B.A. Media Studies.
Photo: Lacea Loader

UFS’s CHESD awards doctoral degree
Ms Mardi Delport (middle), Assistant Director: Media and Communications at the Central University of Technology received her Doctoral degree at this year’s autumn graduation ceremony of the University of the Free State (UFS). The title of her thesis is: “An internal communication model for the Central University of Technology, Free State as a multi-campus institution”. With her are her promoter Prof. Driekie Hay (left), Vice-Rector: Academic Planning, and her co-promoter, Prof. Annette Wilkinson (right) from the Centre for Higher Education Studies and Development (CHESD) at the UFS.
Photo: Leonie Bolleurs

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