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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

News Archive

Exciting open day and Albert Einstein program at Boyden Observatory

2005-05-06

National Science Week, which will be held from 7-14 May 2005, is an annual country-wide celebration of science, led by the Department of Science and Technology. The department selected a proposal by the Boyden Science Centre to coordinate a week of activities in the Bloemfontein area as one of the many projects in the country.

The project for Bloemfontein and surrounding areas will be delivered though a collaboration between the National Museum in Bloemfontein and the University of the Free State (UFS), including the Research Institute for Education Planning, the Department of Physics and other departments in the Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences.

The purpose of National Science Week is:

to create awareness of the important role that science play in people’s daily lives;
to encourage our youth to consider studying and improving their performance in mathematics and science; and
to attract more of our youth into science, engineering and technology (SET) careers.

World Year of Physics and Albert Einstein Program at Boyden Observatory

The International Union of Pure and Applied Physics (IUPAP) declared the year 2005 as the World Year of Physics (WYP). In recognition of this declaration, the great contribution of Physics to the development of technology, and its importance in our everyday lives will be featured strongly during the National Science Week 2005.

On Saturday 7 May 2005 there will be a public programme at Boyden Observatory from 15:30 as a contribution to the World Year of Physics. The programme will be presented in collaboration with the Bloemfontein branch of the Astronomical Society of Southern Africa and will include short presentations on astronomy, space exploration and the sun.

The main presentation will be at 19:00 the evening on the life and work of Albert Einstein. The programme will also include observing sessions through telescopes of objects like the sun, Jupiter and Saturn. There will also be an exhibit on Albert Einstein. Attendance is free but booking is required. For bookings, phone 051-4012561.

Public lecture programme:

Next week the following exciting public lectures will be presented as part of the Science Week activities:

Monday 9 May 2005

National Museum:

A discussion on Apocalypse Then: the greatest mass extinction of all time. The lecture will be presented by Dr Jennifer Botha, Paleontologist at the National Museum.
Bookings: 051-4479609 (entrance is free).

UFS campus:

All lectures at Kine 2, Medical Faculty, UFS campus. Follow directions from the DF Malherbe Road entrance.
Bookings: 051-4012561 (entrance is free).

Tuesday 10 May 2005:

A discussion on the Tsunami disaster of 26 December 2004 at 19:30 (UFS campus, Kine 2 Medical Faculty).

Wednesday 11 May 2005:

A discussion on Is there life out there? at 19:30 (UFS campus, Kine 2 Medical Faculty).

Friday 13 May 2005:

A discussion on Hunting Black Holes at 19:30 (UFS campus, Kine 2 Medical Faculty). The lecture will be presented by Dr Phil Charles, Director: South African Astronomical Observatory.

Science awareness day at the National museum

The science week will be concluded on Saturday 14 May 2005 with a special Science Awareness Day at the National Museum, Aliwal Street, Bloemfontein.

The excellent exhibits at the museum will be supplemented with activities, career information and video shows. The duration of the programme will be from 10:00-16:00. For enquiries, please call 051-4479609.

Issued by:  Lacea Loader
   Media Representative
   Tel: (051) 401-2584
   Cell: 083 645 2454
   E-mail: loaderl.stg@mail.uovs.ac.za

6 May 2005

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