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Alumna congratulates graduates

17 November 2022 | Story Kutlwano Moqholosane | Photo Supplied

Opinion article by Kutlwano Moqholosane, alumna, University of the Free State. Moqholosane obtained her Bachelor of Social Sciences (Human and Societal Dynamics) in April 2022.

To the graduating class of December 2022 – let me start by congratulating you on your hard work! Acceptance to study at university is no small feat and being able to come out on the other side of it is a huge accomplishment to be proud of.

I graduated in April 2022, but my journey with the UFS started back in 2015 when I first sent my application forms. Back then, I was a young girl of 17 with dreams way bigger than me. I felt I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

I was accepted to the university and started in 2016, with the hope to finish in record time and get all the way to master’s and be a practising psychologist by 2022. Life had funny plans, but I'm so grateful for the academic and support staff at the university; they walked me through my mental health struggles and held my hand as I tripped here and there. Without the sensitivity and empathy shown to me by everyone here, I don't think I would eventually have become an alumna of the University of the Free State (UFS).

I had to take a semester off in 2017 after some soul-crushing struggles with mental illness. At the time, I thought it was all over; I could not see a way out of the fog, and I didn’t fully trust myself and my abilities anymore. In January 2018, I made my way back to Bloemfontein to try again anyway.

Between then and now, I have been admitted to a wellness facility a few times. This is unfortunately the reality of living with a chronic mental illness. With each admission, I came back with new and better coping strategies to help me through academics and life in general.

I'm especially glad to have had lecturers like Lindie Coetzee, Kali Nena and Dr Florence Tadi, Dr Lindi Nel, and Dr Jacques Jordaan, who all understood the delicate nature of depression, anxiety, and growing pains, and gave me countless opportunities to write tests, exams, and submit assignments.

What am I doing now?

Well, I'm still a Kovsie through and through! I'm taking a short break from academics, but that does not mean I’m done! I'm sending job applications to the university for the vacancies I might be a good fit for, and I will be applying for admission to the Psychology Honours programme as soon as possible.

I've found a community with the UFS, and I'm very hopeful that I'll still be able to take part and call it home.

My parting message to all of you: stumbling and falling is a fact of life. Some falls will be worse than others, but the biggest thing is that you get up every single time. You are not defined by any of the ways in which you ‘mess up’; you will always have the opportunity to grow into a better person than before.

Once again, congratulations!

News Archive

“You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance” – Dr Mamphela Ramphele during second Leah Tutu Gender Symposium

2015-02-28

From the left are: Samantha van Schalkwyk, Zanele Mbeki, Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela and Dr Mamphela Ramphele.
Photo: Johan Roux

Video message from Mrs Leah Tutu

Session 1: Keynote address by Dr Mamphela Ramphele
Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man

Session 2: Professor Robert Morrell from the University of Cape Town
South African Gender Studies: Setting the context

Session 3: How can we engage young men to act against violence against women?
Panel discussion by Lisa Vetten (Wits Institute for Social and Economic Research), Despina Learmonth (Psychology Department, University of Cape Town) and Wessel van den Berg (Sonke Gender Justice)

Session 4: Professor Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela
Self-defence as a strategy for women’s resistance: Reflections on the work of Susan Brison

Engaging men to act against gender-based violence in the Southern African context.

This was the theme of the second International Leah Tutu Symposium, hosted by the Gender Initiative of Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies of the University of the Free State (UFS) on Tuesday 24 February 2015.

What does it mean to be man? How can men become active in the fight against gender-based violence? And when does one say: enough is enough? Questions like these set the tone as highly-respected individuals such as Dr Mamphela Ramphele, Prof Rob Morrell, Lisa Vetten and Andy Kawa took to the stage in the Odeion on the Bloemfontein Campus.

Leah Tutu
Unfortunately, Mrs Leah Tutu could not attend this year’s event, but she still managed to send sparks of wit and insight into the auditorium. In her video message, Mrs Tutu referred to the fact that our country has “consigned discriminatory legislation to the rubbish bin of the past”, but we continue to inhabit a divided society.

“We have a constitution and bill of rights that should have sounded the death knell for patriarchy. But women are unsafe across the land,” Mrs Tutu said. “Our freedom cost too much to be left out in the rain,” she urged.

Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man
In Dr Ramphele’s keynote address, “Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man”, she scrutinised the dominant masculinity model that has supported an alpha-male mentality for millennia. A mentality that celebrates dominance, power and control – where the winner takes it all. How then, can we expect our young boys to embrace the value system of a human rights culture?

“Gender equality is at the heart of our constitutional democratic values. Yet, our society continues to privilege and celebrate the alpha male as a masculinity model,” Dr Ramphele said. This dissonance can only produce conflict and violence.

We encourage our young men to be gentle, communicative, caring people who show their emotions. And when they do, what do we as women do? Do we encourage them?

“Or do we join those who call them wimps, moffies, sissies? How do we respond when they are ridiculed?” Dr Ramphele asked. Are we, as mothers, fathers and grandparents willing to socialise our children to acknowledge a diversity of masculinities as equally valid in our society?

The new man and the new woman of the 21st century need to be liberated from the conflict-ridden dominant masculinity model. They need to be able to shape their identity in line with a value system of human rights as enshrined in our constitution.

Perhaps Dr Ramphele’s message could be summed up by one sentence: You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance.

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