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12 December 2018 | Story Mothepane Lebopo

The door closed. My eyes opened.

My dreams were halted as I sat up. She was already outside my window, the midnight moonlight lit her skin and erasing my fingertips on her arms. I opened the window… cold truth blew in. It stung my heart. She was going.

“Seriously? After four months this is how you are going to leave?”

Silence.

She was trying to control her breathing, to keep it as flat as possible. She had a unique, annoying gift of being able to compose herself in such situations, especially when she knew it was needed.

She stared at me.

My heart was pounding against my chest. In anger. In desperation. It had settled on her, but clearly she wouldn’t let me get close to hers.

I felt the first tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped away the second one. She just stared…

She could have been looking at me, thinking of other things. With her you never knew. She turned.

“Wait, please wait. Did you ever love me?”

She stuck her tongue out and left.

And I knew that was it: we were over. Thinking back, I might have known for a while that it was coming. But still… being prepared for something doesn’t guarantee your heart won’t break when it actually happens.

I left the window open, slightly. My head was spinning and my heart was tearing.

I laid on what was supposed to be our bed and dug my head in a pillow in an attempt to block out reality. It was useless; warm liquid from my broken heart poured out through my eyes. All I could smell was her.

But what was I expecting? It could never work. We were two puzzle pieces from different sets. Two pieces that were never supposed to fit… We tried to force it, and it ended in pain.

She was such an odd person. She had this ‘forbidden love’ thing about her. Being hers was strange, I knew she wasn't mine but I still tumbled head over heels. Being with her was like cheating on a diet. Or texting when you’re supposed to study.

She had beautiful, wild eyes that had perhaps seen too much. She got high on other people’s vulnerability. When her arms locked around me, she wasn’t just holding me, she was searching for pain. Insecurity. She would pin me down and kiss my nose. When she felt my guard coming up, she would tickle me and my power would leave me and enter her. She always won.

Often we’d try to watch the stars. I could never concentrate, her beauty was fierce and demanded undivided attention. She couldn’t focus either. She looked at the stars, not for their beauty, but for adventure. She looked at them as a guide.

I felt her hot blood in her embrace, she had to move to keep cool. There was rarely a still moment. Always dancing. Always moving.

I guess that’s what attracted me to her. I made her my adventure. I wanted to see what she had seen. I told her I was happy where I was but in reality I wanted to go everywhere she went. Wherever the stars would take her.

My lips only met hers when she was drunk. Perhaps she didn’t want to remember showing a little bit of emotion, being a bit vulnerable in front of me. But even then she rarely shared her thoughts with me.

So her secrets are still with her, while she knows mine.

That wild girl, may I never hold her again. She said she didn’t like it. She wanted to feel liberated. And my arms didn’t offer her that.

The girl with a storm in her heart had started a fire in mine and left.

I look out the window, where she had been standing. I almost smiled. What was I thinking?  Thinking I could fix her? Whether I love her or hate her, it makes no difference because she’s not here. She’s not coming back.

I will never know what exactly she wanted with me. But I’ll grow wiser from this.

You can’t teach someone who’s power hungry to surrender. You can’t mould someone who despises being held. You can’t put out a wild fire. Don’t try to pick wild flowers, because their thorns will pierce your skin and then they will wither because of your blood. But their scent will linger forever.

Now I know. You can’t tame someone who is wild. You shouldn’t offer your heart to someone who has sold her soul to adventure.

Don’t try to love someone who can’t be still.

 

News Archive

Mushrooms, from gourmet food for humans to fodder for animals
2016-12-19

Description: Mushroom research photo 2 Tags: Mushroom research photo 2 

From the UFS Department of Microbial Biochemical and
Food Biotechnology are, from left: Prof Bennie Viljoen,
researcher,
MSc student Christie van der Berg,
and PhD student Christopher Rothman
Photo: Anja Aucamp

Mushrooms have so many medicinal applications that humans have a substance in hand to promote long healthy lives. And it is not only humans who benefit from these macrofungi growing mostly in dark spaces.

“The substrate applied for growing the mushrooms can be used as animal fodder. Keeping all the medicinal values intact, these are transferred to feed goats as a supplement to their daily diet,” said Prof Bennie Viljoen, researcher in the Department of Microbial, Biochemical and Food Biotechnology at the UFS.

Curiosity and a humble start
“The entire mushroom project started two years ago as a sideline of curiosity to grow edible gourmet mushrooms for my own consumption. I was also intrigued by a friend who ate these mushrooms in their dried form to support his immune system, claiming he never gets sick. The sideline quickly changed when we discovered the interesting world of mushrooms and postgraduate students became involved.

“Since these humble beginnings we have rapidly expanded with the financial help of the Technology Transfer Office to a small enterprise with zero waste,” said Prof Viljoen. The research group also has many collaborators in the industry with full support from a nutraceutical company, an animal feed company and a mushroom growers’ association.

Prof Viljoen and his team’s mushroom research has various aspects.

Growing the tastiest edible mushrooms possible
“We are growing gourmet mushrooms on agricultural waste under controlled environmental conditions to achieve the tastiest edible mushrooms possible. This group of mushrooms is comprised of the King, Pink, Golden, Grey, Blue and Brown Oysters. Other than the research results we have obtained, this part is mainly governed by the postgraduate students running it as a business with the intention to share in the profit from excess mushrooms because they lack research bursaries. The mushrooms are sold to restaurants and food markets at weekends,” said Prof Viljoen.

Description: Mushroom research photo 1 Tags: Mushroom research photo 1 

Photo: Anja Aucamp

Natural alternative for the treatment of various ailments
“The second entity of research encompasses the growth and application of medicinal mushrooms. Throughout history, mushrooms have been used as a natural alternative for the treatment of various ailments. Nowadays, macrofungi are known to be a source of bioactive compounds of medicinal value. These include prevention or alleviation of heart disease, inhibition of platelet aggregation, reduction of blood glucose levels, reduction of blood cholesterol and the prevention or alleviation of infections caused by bacterial, viral, fungal and parasitic pathogens. All of these properties can be enjoyed by capsulation of liquid concentrates or dried powdered mushrooms, as we recently confirmed by trial efforts which are defined as mushroom nutriceuticals,” he said.

Their research focuses on six different medicinal genera, each with specific medicinal attributes:
1.    Maitake: the most dominant property exhibited by this specific mushroom is the reduction of blood pressure as well as cholesterol. Other medicinal properties include anticancer, antidiabetic and immunomodulating while it may also improve the health of HIV patients.
2.    The Turkey Tail mushroom is known for its activity against various tumours and viruses as well as its antioxidant properties.
3.    Shiitake mushrooms have antioxidant properties and are capable of lowering blood serum cholesterol (BSC). The mushroom produces a water-soluble polysaccharide, lentinan, considered to be responsible for anticancer, antimicrobial and antitumour properties.
4.    The Grey Oyster mushroom has medicinal properties such as anticholesterol, antidiabetic, antimicrobial, antioxidant, antitumour and immunomodulatory properties.
5.    Recently there has been an increased interest in the Lion’s Mane mushroom which contains nerve growth factors (NGF) and may be applied as a possible treatment of Alzheimer’s disease as this compound seems to have the ability to re-grow and rebuild myelin by stimulating neurons.
6.    Reishi mushrooms are considered to be the mushrooms with the most medicinal properties due to their enhancing health effects such as treatment of cancer, as well as increasing longevity, resistance and recovery from diseases.


Description: Mushroom research photo 3 Tags: Mushroom research photo 3


Valuable entity for the agricultural sector
Another research focus is the bio-mushroom application phenome, to break down trees growing as encroaching plants. This research is potentially very valuable for the agricultural sector in the areas where Acacia is an encroaching problem. With this process, waste products are upgraded to a usable state. “It is therefore, possible to convert woody biomass with a low digestibility and limited availability of nutrients into high-quality animal fodder. By carefully selecting the right combination of fungus species to ferment agro-wastes, a whole host of advantages could become inherently part of the substrate. Mushrooms could become a biotechnological tool used to ‘inject’ the substrate that will be fed to animals with nutrition and/or medicine as the need and situation dictates,” said Prof Viljoen.

 

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