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22 October 2020 | Story Emma Morape | Photo Supplied
Emma Morape, who battled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, believes it is important to love and be kind to yourself. She urges others to remember that they are loved and appreciated.

I am Emerentia Morape, mostly known as Emma. I am 21 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have been battling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Since Grade 7, I have had problems with my identity, body, and attempting suicide. I have spent years overdosing on pills and trying other methods to kill myself. In the darkest years of my life, I resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pressures of varsity, family, wrong friendships, body changes, and getting into toxic relationships.

However, those dark years did have some light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was the very good friends that I made when I arrived on campus. For the first time in my life, I could open up to people about the pain and struggles that I am going through without feeling judged, and they advised me to see a psychologist to get professional help. So, I went to Student Counselling and Development, talked to a psychologist, and started feeling better. The only problem was that I thought depression was something that could be fixed quickly by talking to someone and then life goes back to normal. So, as quickly as I got better, I ended up in a darker depressive hole. 

I then started seeing Dr Melissa Barnaschone at Student Counselling and Development and attended well-being workshops. I attended the Self-Esteem Programme, the GROW programme, and the REBT Programme, which helped me deal with my anger. Lize Wolmarans, also from Student Counselling and Development, really helped a lot with the GROW and Self-Esteem programmes.

I was in a safe environment where I could have my own opinion and could curse and cry as much as I wanted to. I keep the book and notes from the workshops with me for when I go through horrible episodes of anxiety, self-acceptance, and those ‘I do not want to see or talk to anyone’ days; it really helps me to get back into perspective and give me a sense of hope for the future. Being able to talk to Dr Barnaschone and my lecturer, Dr Visser, about anything that I experience – personal or professional – and being able to ask for guidance and not feel judged, has been the greatest help this year, including the struggles of the pandemic.

I am also a rapper and songwriter; so, through Dr Barnaschone, I have been able to go back to my passion and write songs about my depression and growth. It has allowed me to be a better version of myself. I have been able to record and perform these songs and use them as a tool on my journey of peace.

Hope, to me, means peace through the storm, because hope does not mean that everything is perfect; it is keeping the faith when you are walking through the fire and believing that you will make it to the end. On your journey to find yourself and peace, you will be victorious. I remain hopeful, because every time I look back on my life thinking of the pain and heartache I went through, I find a glimmer of hope knowing that I have been through hell and still made it out; so, I can conquer whatever struggles come my way.

My message to the UFS community and humanity is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel every emotion and pain you experience. The grass is always greener on the other side, so do not be shy or scared to speak out and get help. Talk to trusted friends and family about anything that you are experiencing and is overwhelming you, even if it is just to vent. 

Talk to a psychologist or social worker, attend as many mental-health workshops as you can, read about mental health. Even though it is not something you are experiencing personally, you might be able to help someone close to you and save a life. And remember to live a healthy, balanced life, meditate as much as you can, spend time with yourself.

Most importantly, love and be kind to yourself! Remember that you are loved and appreciated, even by people that you do not know; so, keep your head up and spread light, love, and positivity.

News Archive

Prof. Jonathan to take up office on 1 July 2009
2009-03-24

Our new Rector and Vice-Chancellor, Prof. Jonathan Jansen, has indicated that he will take up office on 1 July 2009.

Speaking here at the Main Campus in Bloemfontein today after discussions with members of Council, Prof. Jonathan said he was deeply humbled by the overwhelmingly positive reception he has received from all quarters on and off campus following the announcement of his appointment.

“I have received telephone calls, e-mails, SMSs and messages from people who have nothing but support and seemingly lots of advice for me, which has humbled me tremendously. I am truly grateful for the trust shown in me by so many people I have not even met.

“This generosity and warmth is something that has reinforced my view that the University of the Free State is indeed a very special place for so many people and a place that I am honoured to serve as Rector and Vice-Chancellor.”

Prof. Jonathan said he would dedicate his first few months in office to a listening campaign to learn about the issues and concerns that are on people’s minds as well as the initiatives and developments at our university that make them proud of our institution.

“This is an important step because I don’t want to come across as some know-it-all who can come here and tell people this is what they should do. It is also an important step to get people talking and united about a common vision for the academic institution that the UFS is. It will have to be about the twin imperatives of racial reconciliation and academic excellence.

“In this process of listening and learning no-one will be excluded. I will talk to people on campus and off campus, including academic staff, support staff, the Qwaqwa Campus, students, parents, alumni, local business, the religious community, and our sport persons.

“I must also add that I have now bought my Cheetah and Bloemfontein Celtic jerseys, difficult as it was for me.”

Media Release
Issued by: Anton Fisher
Director: Strategic Communication
Tel: 051 401 2749
Cell: 072 207 8334
E-mail: fishera.stg@ufs.ac.za  

 

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