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22 October 2020 | Story Emma Morape | Photo Supplied
Emma Morape, who battled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, believes it is important to love and be kind to yourself. She urges others to remember that they are loved and appreciated.

I am Emerentia Morape, mostly known as Emma. I am 21 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have been battling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Since Grade 7, I have had problems with my identity, body, and attempting suicide. I have spent years overdosing on pills and trying other methods to kill myself. In the darkest years of my life, I resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pressures of varsity, family, wrong friendships, body changes, and getting into toxic relationships.

However, those dark years did have some light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was the very good friends that I made when I arrived on campus. For the first time in my life, I could open up to people about the pain and struggles that I am going through without feeling judged, and they advised me to see a psychologist to get professional help. So, I went to Student Counselling and Development, talked to a psychologist, and started feeling better. The only problem was that I thought depression was something that could be fixed quickly by talking to someone and then life goes back to normal. So, as quickly as I got better, I ended up in a darker depressive hole. 

I then started seeing Dr Melissa Barnaschone at Student Counselling and Development and attended well-being workshops. I attended the Self-Esteem Programme, the GROW programme, and the REBT Programme, which helped me deal with my anger. Lize Wolmarans, also from Student Counselling and Development, really helped a lot with the GROW and Self-Esteem programmes.

I was in a safe environment where I could have my own opinion and could curse and cry as much as I wanted to. I keep the book and notes from the workshops with me for when I go through horrible episodes of anxiety, self-acceptance, and those ‘I do not want to see or talk to anyone’ days; it really helps me to get back into perspective and give me a sense of hope for the future. Being able to talk to Dr Barnaschone and my lecturer, Dr Visser, about anything that I experience – personal or professional – and being able to ask for guidance and not feel judged, has been the greatest help this year, including the struggles of the pandemic.

I am also a rapper and songwriter; so, through Dr Barnaschone, I have been able to go back to my passion and write songs about my depression and growth. It has allowed me to be a better version of myself. I have been able to record and perform these songs and use them as a tool on my journey of peace.

Hope, to me, means peace through the storm, because hope does not mean that everything is perfect; it is keeping the faith when you are walking through the fire and believing that you will make it to the end. On your journey to find yourself and peace, you will be victorious. I remain hopeful, because every time I look back on my life thinking of the pain and heartache I went through, I find a glimmer of hope knowing that I have been through hell and still made it out; so, I can conquer whatever struggles come my way.

My message to the UFS community and humanity is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel every emotion and pain you experience. The grass is always greener on the other side, so do not be shy or scared to speak out and get help. Talk to trusted friends and family about anything that you are experiencing and is overwhelming you, even if it is just to vent. 

Talk to a psychologist or social worker, attend as many mental-health workshops as you can, read about mental health. Even though it is not something you are experiencing personally, you might be able to help someone close to you and save a life. And remember to live a healthy, balanced life, meditate as much as you can, spend time with yourself.

Most importantly, love and be kind to yourself! Remember that you are loved and appreciated, even by people that you do not know; so, keep your head up and spread light, love, and positivity.

News Archive

Internationally acclaimed academic applauded on Africa Day
2011-06-02

 
 Prof. Ali Mazrui, an internationally acclaimed and renowned academic.

One of the world’s top academics was given a warm welcome in the rather cold Free State recently.

Prof. Ali Mazrui, an internationally acclaimed and renowned academic, visited us as part of our Africa Day celebrations as arranged by the Centre for Africa Studies. He delivered a keynote address, entitled ‘Pro-democracy uprisings in an African experience: from Sharpeville to Benghazi.’

A festive atmosphere and the sound of drums welcomed this intellectual giant as well as other delegates upon their arrival at the CR Swart Auditorium on our Bloemfontein Campus. Some of the delegates who attended the Africa Day Celebrations, included: Mr Tom Amolo, High Commissioner from the Republic of Kenya; Mr Dan Kgothule, MEC of Arts and Culture in the province; Prof. Jeff and Dr Carla Ramsdell, visitors from America; Dr Allan Boesak and Prof. Nicky Morgan, Vice-Rector: Operations.

Prof. Frederick Fourie, former Vice-Chancellor and Rector of our university, also attended the celebrations, as did some scholars from neighboring schools.

Welcoming Prof. Mazrui, Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Vice-Chancellor and Rector of our university, quipped that he was relieved the world had not ended the previous weekend as was predicted, because he was looking forward to listening to such a renowned intellectual.

Prof. Lucius Botes, Dean of Humanities, followed Prof. Jansen at the podium. He said the ability to go from following a bridging course to being one of the top 100 intellectuals in the world, indeed distinguishes Prof. Mazrui as an exceptional academic. This intellectual is, among others, an Albert Luthuli Professor at the University of Jos, Nigeria and Andrew D. Professor Emeritus and Senior Scholar in Africana Studies at Cornell University.

In his introduction, Prof. Mazrui said he feels honored and flattered by this opportunity. He proceeded by referring to the history of Africa Day and added that he would rather prefer an Africa Week to an Africa Day to ensure that everybody has the opportunity to celebrate the continent.

He sang the praises of South Africa, as almost every other African country which attained liberation from European colonial rule in the 20th century, has been unable to maintain its democratic order beyond its first decade of independence.

“The Republic of South Africa, on the other hand, liberated Nelson Mandela in 1990, held its first democratic election in 1994, and already has its third president. Nearly two decades after Apartheid, South Africa has not outlawed opposition parties, or experienced a military coup, or permitted the Head of State to govern the country as a dictator.”

In his speech he compared the uprisings in Sharpeville during 1960 and Soweto during 1976 with the more recent pro-democracy uprisings in North Africa, based on the role that weapons and the lack thereof, as well as the youth and women played in the respective cases.

He concluded by saying the uprisings in Tunisia and Egypt have already resulted in ousting dictators who had been entrenched in power for decades, adding that in Libya a third dictator’s future is on the line. “Never in the history of the Arabs have there been so many popular uprisings which seem to be inspired neither by Islam nor by anti-imperialism, but in the quest for liberal reforms. Half a century earlier in Sharpeville and Soweto, South Africans experienced their own political awakening.”

Prof. Kwandiwe Kondlo, Director of the Centre for Africa Studies, closed the event with a word of thanks to the American academic and his wife, guests and attendees. He said discussions prior to the event revealed that more research has to be done regarding gender issues on the continent.

Prof. Mazrui also participated in conversations at the institute and a media briefing which was hosted earlier the day.

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