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22 October 2020 | Story Emma Morape | Photo Supplied
Emma Morape, who battled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, believes it is important to love and be kind to yourself. She urges others to remember that they are loved and appreciated.

I am Emerentia Morape, mostly known as Emma. I am 21 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have been battling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Since Grade 7, I have had problems with my identity, body, and attempting suicide. I have spent years overdosing on pills and trying other methods to kill myself. In the darkest years of my life, I resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pressures of varsity, family, wrong friendships, body changes, and getting into toxic relationships.

However, those dark years did have some light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was the very good friends that I made when I arrived on campus. For the first time in my life, I could open up to people about the pain and struggles that I am going through without feeling judged, and they advised me to see a psychologist to get professional help. So, I went to Student Counselling and Development, talked to a psychologist, and started feeling better. The only problem was that I thought depression was something that could be fixed quickly by talking to someone and then life goes back to normal. So, as quickly as I got better, I ended up in a darker depressive hole. 

I then started seeing Dr Melissa Barnaschone at Student Counselling and Development and attended well-being workshops. I attended the Self-Esteem Programme, the GROW programme, and the REBT Programme, which helped me deal with my anger. Lize Wolmarans, also from Student Counselling and Development, really helped a lot with the GROW and Self-Esteem programmes.

I was in a safe environment where I could have my own opinion and could curse and cry as much as I wanted to. I keep the book and notes from the workshops with me for when I go through horrible episodes of anxiety, self-acceptance, and those ‘I do not want to see or talk to anyone’ days; it really helps me to get back into perspective and give me a sense of hope for the future. Being able to talk to Dr Barnaschone and my lecturer, Dr Visser, about anything that I experience – personal or professional – and being able to ask for guidance and not feel judged, has been the greatest help this year, including the struggles of the pandemic.

I am also a rapper and songwriter; so, through Dr Barnaschone, I have been able to go back to my passion and write songs about my depression and growth. It has allowed me to be a better version of myself. I have been able to record and perform these songs and use them as a tool on my journey of peace.

Hope, to me, means peace through the storm, because hope does not mean that everything is perfect; it is keeping the faith when you are walking through the fire and believing that you will make it to the end. On your journey to find yourself and peace, you will be victorious. I remain hopeful, because every time I look back on my life thinking of the pain and heartache I went through, I find a glimmer of hope knowing that I have been through hell and still made it out; so, I can conquer whatever struggles come my way.

My message to the UFS community and humanity is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel every emotion and pain you experience. The grass is always greener on the other side, so do not be shy or scared to speak out and get help. Talk to trusted friends and family about anything that you are experiencing and is overwhelming you, even if it is just to vent. 

Talk to a psychologist or social worker, attend as many mental-health workshops as you can, read about mental health. Even though it is not something you are experiencing personally, you might be able to help someone close to you and save a life. And remember to live a healthy, balanced life, meditate as much as you can, spend time with yourself.

Most importantly, love and be kind to yourself! Remember that you are loved and appreciated, even by people that you do not know; so, keep your head up and spread light, love, and positivity.

News Archive

UFS research project aims to stimulate reflection on theological studies
2017-06-20

Description: Book, Theology and post Apartheid condition  Tags: Book, Theology and post Apartheid condition

The first book in the ‘UFS Theological
Exploration’ academic series, called Theology
and the Post(Apartheid) Condition
, has just
been released.
Photo: Supplied

 

The first study book with the title Theology and the Post(Apartheid) Condition, which is part of a new academic series by the Faculty of Theology and Religion at the University of the Free State, is now available. Volume 1, compiled by Professor Rian Venter as editor, is the first book in the ‘UFS Theological Exploration’ academic series, which the faculty plans to release.

Transformation
Professor Venter says the transformation of processes and practices in communicating and creating knowledge has become an urgent task for public universities in a democratic South Africa. Much reflection has already gone into the methods and scope of transformation in higher education.

Although the faculty has done work on the implications of this for theology, there is one area of investigation that has not received much attention. It concerns the role of theological disciplines such as Old and New Testament, Missiology and Systematic Theology and Practical Theology, and specifically the relationship between academic disciplines and societal growth. The book focuses on these challenges and contains the intellectual undertakings of the contributors who are all lecturers, research fellows and post-graduate students linked to the faculty.

The questions
The key questions addressed are: what are the contours of the (post)apartheid condition and what are the implications for responsible discipline practices in theology. Professor Venter says the chapters in the book are logically arranged and moves from wider to more specific concerns. The first three chapters suggest broad perspectives on the challenges for theology in higher education, chart the changes, and make some suggestions for the future.

A dynamic field of study
The book states that theology has already experienced profound and radical changes over the past decade, which is known to us. All the chapters demonstrate these fundamental shifts, which have taken place in all theological sub-disciplines. Professor Venter says the contributions in the book illustrate that theology is a dynamic field of study, and is pursued with enthusiasm and commitment. Not all disciplines in theology are investigated for the book. However, the studies reflect the interests of the theologians in the Faculty of Theology at the UFS. Professor Venter hopes that the volume might stimulate further reflection of a similar nature by other theologians.

New insights
Through the ‘UFS Theological Exploration’ research series, the faculty hopes to stimulate new insights and new developments in academic progress and overall human growth. Series editor Professor Francois Tolmie says it is a fact that strong university research is necessary to achieve academic progress and advance human prospering. He says the faculty's research series will make a valuable contribution to these causes. Professor Tolmie says the ‘UFS Theological Explorations’ contains research of the highest academic standard which has been peer-reviewed to make significant educational contributions to core theological issues in South Africa and overseas.

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