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Toxic masculinity under the spotlight at UFS Men’s Breakfast

25 November 2019 | Story Valentino Ndaba | Photo Igno van Niekerk

Two days before International Men’s Day Rees Mann addressed Kovsies about their responsibility to fight against abuse and rape.

“Half-a-million men commit suicide every year across the world. Men in South Africa are four times more likely to commit suicide than women but we are not talking about it. We try to forget that it exists because we want to assume the role of what society says masculinity should be.”

Rees Mann, ambassador at the South African Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse (SAMSOSA), made this shocking yet true statement at the first-ever Men’s Breakfast hosted by the University of the Free State (UFS) on 17 November 2019. Mann shared his story of surviving rape and abuse with 140 other men on the Bloemfontein Campus.

The Breakfast took place just days before the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, a time when the nation will be on a drive to further awareness efforts around the issue.

Redefining masculinity and defying toxic masculinity

As a sexual assault survivor, Mann demonstrated what it looks like to lead by example in breaking the silence. “I still suffer from the consequences of being abused and raped. I have semi-facial dystonia, posttraumatic stress disorder, bipolar and Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder but I manage each one of these issues. I am stronger than any other male who suffers in silence instead of seeing a psychologist.”

“The sad reality is that when a male commits suicide everybody around him says ‘I didn’t know he was so depressed’ because mental health issues for us males are considered a weakness,” said Mann.

Having walked the walk, Mann believes that seeking help is a sign of strength. “It is time for us men to take a stand and define our own masculinity,” he added.

Ending a vicious cycle

Mann pleaded with Kovsie men to join in the fight against the cycle of violence in South Africa. His fear is that if men do not heal themselves and introspect, the cycle of violence and gender-based violence will continue in this country. “Hurt people hurt people. Toxic masculinity kills not only me but women and children too.”

While debunking the myth surrounding rape victims always transforming into rapists, he acknowledged there is a percentage of males who were raped and abused who go on to become rapists and abusers. However, there are also perpetrators who were never sexually assaulted. The onus, according to Mann, is on all males to fight against these crimes to prevent history from repeating itself, in turn making South Africa a safer space for all who live in it.

Why these conversations are critical

Lemena Thebe, a senior officer at Student Academic Services who attended the Men’s Breakfast, was of the view that dialogue is an essential part of the process in the fight against rape, abuse and violence.

“I realised that we as men need to speak out about our challenges. Whether we were victims as boys or suffered any type of abuse as adults, we don’t have to be ashamed,” said Thebe.

News Archive

UFS Centenary celebrations come to an end

2005-02-03

OFFICIAL OPENING

The official opening of the UFS will take place on Friday 04 February 2005 at 09:00 in the Reitz Hall (Centenary Complex). Please note that this is a test and lecture free day. The Rector and Vice-Chancellor, Prof. Frederick Fourie will be the keynote speaker. Refreshments will be served at the Centenary Complex after the opening ceremony.

The historic Centenary photograph will be taken at 11:00 on the eastern side of the Red Square (CR Swart parking area). All staff members and students are invited to be part of this massive photograph.

Important

• There will be no parking allowed on the CR Swart parking area until 12:00 on Friday 04 February 2005, as a result of the photo session.

• All academic staff members are requested to wear academic dress on the day, seeing as staff members will depict the Centenary emblem on the photograph. Academic gowns may be collected from the Gown Store on Wednesday 02 - Thursday 03 February 2005 between 08:00 and 16:00. Gowns must be returned to the Gown Store after the photograph has been taken.

SERVICE OF DEVOTION

A special service of devotion will take place on Sunday 06 February 2005 at 18:00 for 18:30 in front of the Main Building on the Red Square. This is a special gathering of students, hosted by all the interdenominational groups on the UFS campus. The evening will be a celebration of praise, thanks and worship, followed by a message from Dr Wollie Grobler. The evening will conclude with song and fireworks.

Staff members and students are welcome to bring their friends and families to this special event.

Important

• Even though there will be chairs in front of the Main Building, staff members and students are requested to bring extra pillows and blankets to sit on.

• No persons or vehicles will be allowed on the eastern side of the Red Square or on the CR Swart parking area, due to the security requirements of the fireworks show.

• All members of the choir are invited to be part of the mass choir. Lyrics will be provided.

• All persons who attend this event are requested to bring a candle for the purpose of the mass choir.

• Special transportation arrangements will be made for all service workers to enable them to attend the service. If there is someone in your faculty, department or division who would like to make use of this service, please send an e-mail to Elize Rall (ralle.stg@mail.uovs.ac.za) no later than Tuesday 01 February 2005.

OTHER ACTIVITIES

• A reunion for all former SRC members of the UFS will take place on the campus, from 04 February to 06 February 2005. An interesting programme is being planned. For more information, please contact Nicolaas du Plessis on 084 955 0875.

• The annual Rag Procession will take place on Saturday 05 February 2005. For more information, contact the Rag Office at X 2718.

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