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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo copy — Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

News Archive

Graduates encouraged to use their knowledge to the benefit of SA

2017-06-28

Description: Graduation read more photo 27 June 2017 Tags: Graduation read more photo 27 June 2017

On 26 June 2017, the last day of its mid-year graduation
ceremonies, the University of the Free State conferred
388 master’s and 72 doctoral degrees.
Photo: Charl Devenish

You have the knowledge, which is a big resource, and should use it to the benefit of South Africa. This was the overwhelming message to graduates obtaining their master’s and doctoral degrees at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Their responsibility was emphasised by the likes of Justice Mahube Molemela during the ceremonies in the Callie Human Centre at the Bloemfontein Campus on 26 June 2017. Justice Molemela, Judge President of the Free State Division of the High Court and Acting Justice of the Supreme Court of South Africa, was the guest speaker at the morning and afternoon ceremonies.

The UFS conferred 388 master’s and 72 doctoral degrees on the final day of its mid-year graduation ceremonies, which was the biggest set of ceremonies in the university’s history. The doctorates came from the Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences (30), Faculty of the Humanities (15), Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences (9), Faculty of Education (8), Faculty of Health Sciences (5), and Faculty of Theology (5). A total of 5 258 degrees were conferred over six days from 19 to 26 June 2017.

Future dependant on youth
Justice Molemela said the master’s and doctoral graduates have the skills to make a difference. “The future of a nation is largely dependent on its youth playing a meaningful role in creating a strong economy, culminating in a good standard of living for everyone.”

She said they should plough back into their communities and give opportunities to others. “I am certain that if each one of you thinks innovatively in your respective fields, you will find solutions which will eradicate poverty, improve service delivery, and hence our education will advance gender equity, and promote public participation.”

Dr Khotso Mokhele, UFS Chancellor, said these graduates have every reason to hold their heads high, their shoulders square, and walk with a bit of an attitude, as they have distinguished themselves.

Generation of new knowledge
According to Prof Francis Petersen, Rector and Vice-Chancellor, the UFS strives to be a university that is research led. “For me, one of the important aspects about universities which set them apart from other training and vocational institutions is the generation of new knowledge,” he said at a lunch function for PhD graduates on 26 June 2017. He feels it is critically important for them to make a contribution to the country.

Dipiloane Phutsisi, Principal and Chief Executive Officer of the Motheo TVET College in the Free State, also emphasised this. Phutsisi was the guest speaker on 23 June 2017. “Your courage and eagerness to face the future and tell the truth in the midst of this confusion, is highly desired by South Africans.”

Justice Ian van der Merwe, Judge of Appeal at the Supreme Court of Appeal and former Chair of the UFS Council, was the guest speaker at the ceremonies on 22 June 2017. He encouraged graduates from a chapter in the book War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy.

“There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth (according to Tolstoy). Or maybe more modernly translated: There is no greatness where simplicity, goodness, and truth are absent.”

Click here to see a list of Deans’ and Senate medals awarded.

Graduations ceremonies:

19 June 2017:

Faculty of Education, except educational qualifications in Open and Distance Learning – South Campus
Faculty of Health Sciences, Faculty of Theology, and Faculty of Law (including the School of Financial Planning Law)

“Every one of us, is destined for greatness. In the words of Dr Martin Luther King: Everyone has the power for greatness, not for fame but greatness, because greatness is determined by service.” – Dipiloane Phutsisi (Guest speaker and Principal and Chief Executive Officer of the Motheo TVET College in the Free State)

Photo Gallery
Livestream Footage (morning session)
Livestream Footage (afternoon session)

Photo: Charl Devenish

20 June 2017:

Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences: All Bachelor’s degrees
Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences: All Diplomas and Bachelor Honours degrees

“Graduation marks a start of a new and wonderful journey. During the last couple of years you have not only developed your intellect, but also expanded what I call your social self,” - Prof Francis Petersen, Rector and Vice-Chancellor

Speech: Prof Francis Petersen (morning)
Speech: Prof Francis Petersen (afternoon)
Photo Gallery
Livestream Footage (morning session)
Livestream Footage (afternoon session)

Photo: Charl Devenish

21 June 2017:

Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences: All certificates, diplomas, Bachelor’s degrees, and Bachelor Honours degrees, excluding BCom degrees
Faculty of the Humanities: Social Sciences and Communication Sciences only

“Graduation is one of the most accomplished achievements one can ever experience.” – Justice Connie Mocumie (Guest speaker and Judge of Appeal at the Supreme Court of Appeal)

Photo Gallery
Livestream Footage (morning session)
Livestream Footage (afternoon session)

Photo: Charl Devenish

22 June 2017:

Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences: BCom degrees only
Faculty of the Humanities: All qualifications, except Social Sciences and Communication Sciences

“The question is not if you will make mistakes, but how do you deal with your mistakes? Do you admit them, do you learn from them, and do you grow as a person?” – Justice Ian van der Merwe (Guest speaker and Judge of Appeal at the Supreme Court of Appeal)

Photo Gallery
Livestream Footage (morning session)
Livestream Footage (afternoon session)

Photo: Johan Roux

23 June 2017:

Educational qualifications in Open and Distance Learning – South Campus

“Class of 2017, go and make your own unique contributions but remember to look into your own heart. South Africa needs your skills, your innovation, knowledge, your expertise and creativity.” – Dipiloane Phutsisi (Guest speaker and Principal and Chief Executive Officer of the Motheo TVET College in the Free State)

Photo Gallery
Livestream Footage (afternoon session)

Photo: Charl Devenish

26 June 2017:

All faculties: master’s and doctoral degrees

“Class of 2016/2017 graduates: You are critical thinkers, you can analyze, you can think independently. That is why you managed to successfully complete postgraduate degrees and diplomas.” – Justice Mahube Molemela (Judge President of the Free State Division of the High Court and Acting Justice of the Supreme Court of South Africa)

Photo Gallery
Livestream Footage (morning session)
Livestream Footage (afternoon session)

Photo: Charl Devenish

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