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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo copy — Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

News Archive

UFS awards honorary doctorates during its centenary week

2004-10-07

The University of the Free State (UFS) will award 12 honorary doctorates on Thursday 14 October 2004 to a diverse group of outstanding South Africans and international experts.

This will be the last in a group of 18 honorary doctorates that the UFS will be awarding in its centenary year.

The awards comprise of a number of well-known language experts and writers, experts in higher education, first-time awards in community service and development studies, as well as music.

“This reflects quality and also diversity, a spectrum of convictions as well as the recognition of persons who played a major role in changing society in the last couple of decades, “ says Prof Frederick Fourie, Rector and Vice-Chancellor of the UFS.

The awards can be grouped in the following categories:

Language and literature:

Mr Karel Schoeman (D Litt (hc)) – well-known Afrikaans author and former student of the UFS. Some of the awards he has received include the Hertzog prize for prose (1970, 1986 and 1995), the CNA prize (1972 and 1994), the Old Mutual prize (1985 and 1991), the SABC prize for best television drama in 1990, the M Net book prize in 1997 and the State President award (former President Nelson Mandela: Order for Excellent Service – silver) in 1999. It is an honor for the UFS to have this gifted and creative person among its former students. This conferment is a fitting recognition of his status as leading South African writer.

Ms Antjie Krog (D Litt (hc)) – well-known South African poet and former student of the UFS. Her popularity as poet is evident in her piercing honesty and unequalled power of expression. Some of the awards she has received include the Eugéne Marais prize in 1973, the Rapport prize in 1987, the Hertzog prize in 1990 and the RAU prize in 2000. Her writing has been translated into seven languages. She has also received numerous honors for her involvement in and journalistic documentation of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s (TRC) proceedings. It is therefore an exceptional privilege for her alma mater to honor her with an honorary doctorate.

Prof Jaap Steyn (D Litt (et phil) (hc)) – recently, Prof Steyn again distinguished himself as biographer whose thorough research is apparent in the published biographies of illustrious writers such as NP van Wyk Louw and MER. The numerous awards, among which the Stals prize from the South African Academy of Science and Art for the Van Wyk publication, are a matter of record. He conducted the research for this great prize-winning work as honorary professor at the UFS.

Prof Jakes Gerwel (D Phil (hc)) – Chancellor of the University of Rhodes and Director of Naspers, Old Mutual, Gold Fields and Brimstone. His doctoral thesis was published in The Netherlands under the title Literatuur en apartheid. Konsepsies van “gekleurdes” in die Afrikaanse roman tot 1948 (1983). He received an honorary doctorate from Clark College ( Atlanta), the City University of New York and Missouri in the USA, the University of the Western Cape, the University of Cape Town, the University of Natal, Rhodes University, the University of Stellenbosch and the University of the Witwatersrand. He is also outstanding professor in the Humanities at the University of the Western Cape, honorary professor in the Humanities at the University of Pretoria, and was the chairman of the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC).

Development Studies:

Dr Frederick van Zyl Slabbert (D Phil (hc)) – for his academic achievements, his endeavors for bringing about a peaceful transition in South Africa and his demonstration of the social investment role of the corporate sector. Dr Van Zyl Slabbert has received honorary degrees from the University of Natal and the Simon Fraser University in Canada. He has published seven books and various academic articles.

Community Service:

Prof Robert G Bringle (D Phil (hc)) – from the Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis (IUPUI) in the USA. He is currently Chancellor’s Professor of Psychology and Philanthropic Studies at the IUPUI and also Director of the IUPUI’s Centre for Service Learning. He is honored for his exceptional contribution to several of the UFS’s community service projects as well as his role in the advancement of a multi- and inter-disciplinary approach to academic development and the integration of service learning within the faculties of the UFS. He has also made a valuable contribution to the conceptual framework of the UFS’s unique community service policy and more recently to the advancement of a research culture regarding community service.

Higher education:

Dr Khotso Mokhele (D Phil (hc)), President of the National Research Foundation (NRF) is honored for his contribution to the South African higher education sector. He has also made a substantial contribution to the development of the research capacity of universities and technikons in South Africa. Dr Mokhele was born in Bloemfontein and matriculated at the Moroka High School in Thaba Nchu.

Prof Saleem Badat (D Phil (hc)), the Chief Executive Officer of the Council on Higher Education (CHE). Prof Badat has devoted himself to transforming and building South African higher education, and has constantly challenged the higher education sector to retain the moral basis of higher education and tackle its challenges with intellectual honesty, ingenuity, creativity and courage. He is honored for his intellectual leadership in the development of a equitable, just and quality higher education system in South Africa.

Law:

Prof HA (Boelie) Wessels (D Legum (hc)) – for his contribution to the fields of Roman Law, Legal History at the UFS. He is currently a part-time lecturer at the UFS’s Faculty of Law.

Medicine:

Prof CJC Nel (D Phil (hc) Posthumous) – for the way in which he strived for the advancement of excellent medical education in the country. Prof Nel also did pioneering work in the field of transformation in higher education. Under his guidance the School of Medicine at the UFS became one of the first medical schools to adopt a parallel-medium system of instruction.

Music:

Prof Leo Quayle (D Mus (hc)) – for the significant contributions he has made to the development of music – not only in Bloemfontein, but also on national level and abroad. His initiative, enthusiasm and dedication contributed to the eventual founding of the Free State Musicon, as well as the first symphony orchestra and the first string quartet in Bloemfontein. Prof Quayle is a former head of the Department of Music at the UFS.

Prof Jack de Wet (D Mus (hc)) – well-known for his exceptional contribution to violin tuition in South Africa. As pedagogue of international stature, he still moulds violinists who compete at national and international level. At an advanced stage of his career, he still actively conveys his knowledge, experience and distinctive insight in his field of speciality to yet another new generation of young violin teachers. Today the symphony orchestras in Bloemfontein and Port Elizabeth also stand on the foundations laid by him.

Media release
Issued by: Lacea Loader
Media Representative
Tel: (051) 401-2584
Cell: 083 645 2454
E-mail: loaderl.stg@mail.uovs.ac.za
7 October 2004

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