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Toxic masculinity under the spotlight at UFS Men’s Breakfast

25 November 2019 | Story Valentino Ndaba | Photo Igno van Niekerk

Two days before International Men’s Day Rees Mann addressed Kovsies about their responsibility to fight against abuse and rape.

“Half-a-million men commit suicide every year across the world. Men in South Africa are four times more likely to commit suicide than women but we are not talking about it. We try to forget that it exists because we want to assume the role of what society says masculinity should be.”

Rees Mann, ambassador at the South African Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse (SAMSOSA), made this shocking yet true statement at the first-ever Men’s Breakfast hosted by the University of the Free State (UFS) on 17 November 2019. Mann shared his story of surviving rape and abuse with 140 other men on the Bloemfontein Campus.

The Breakfast took place just days before the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, a time when the nation will be on a drive to further awareness efforts around the issue.

Redefining masculinity and defying toxic masculinity

As a sexual assault survivor, Mann demonstrated what it looks like to lead by example in breaking the silence. “I still suffer from the consequences of being abused and raped. I have semi-facial dystonia, posttraumatic stress disorder, bipolar and Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder but I manage each one of these issues. I am stronger than any other male who suffers in silence instead of seeing a psychologist.”

“The sad reality is that when a male commits suicide everybody around him says ‘I didn’t know he was so depressed’ because mental health issues for us males are considered a weakness,” said Mann.

Having walked the walk, Mann believes that seeking help is a sign of strength. “It is time for us men to take a stand and define our own masculinity,” he added.

Ending a vicious cycle

Mann pleaded with Kovsie men to join in the fight against the cycle of violence in South Africa. His fear is that if men do not heal themselves and introspect, the cycle of violence and gender-based violence will continue in this country. “Hurt people hurt people. Toxic masculinity kills not only me but women and children too.”

While debunking the myth surrounding rape victims always transforming into rapists, he acknowledged there is a percentage of males who were raped and abused who go on to become rapists and abusers. However, there are also perpetrators who were never sexually assaulted. The onus, according to Mann, is on all males to fight against these crimes to prevent history from repeating itself, in turn making South Africa a safer space for all who live in it.

Why these conversations are critical

Lemena Thebe, a senior officer at Student Academic Services who attended the Men’s Breakfast, was of the view that dialogue is an essential part of the process in the fight against rape, abuse and violence.

“I realised that we as men need to speak out about our challenges. Whether we were victims as boys or suffered any type of abuse as adults, we don’t have to be ashamed,” said Thebe.

News Archive

Fundraising campaign launched to help feed hungry students

2012-03-28

From the left is Dr. Carin Buys (Patron of NSH), Ms. Nicky Abdinor (guest speaker), Mrs. Grace Jansen (patron of NSH) and Redi Tlhabi (master of ceremonies).
Photo: Johan Roux
28 March 2012

Video clip (YouTube)

The University of the Free State (UFS) received over R200 000 for its No Student Hungry (NSH) Programme at the NSH launch dinner on Friday 23 March 2012 in Bloemfontein.

Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Vice-Chancellor and Rector of the UFS as well as founder of the NSH Programme donated R100 000 from the proceeds of his book We Need to Talk to this programme. Standard Bank also donated R30 000.

An additional amount of about R90 000 was raised by means of pledges made by guests and the auctioning of several items. These items were donated by local companies and university staff.

The No Student Hungry Programme (NSH) aims to raise funds to provide modest food bursaries for needy students and give them daily access to a balanced meal.
Prof. Jansen started the NSH programme in 2011 with the proceeds of his book, We Need to Talk.

The NSH funds more than 100 students in the hope of helping them to excel in their academic endeavours and, ultimately, to obtain their degrees.

In 2011, Prof. Jansen discovered that a significant number of students were studying without eating on a regular basis. These were often students with strong academic records but without adequate funding to sustain themselves with regular meals.

The project was established in January 2011 when the NSH Team started to develop the structure and processes of the programme. The first 100 students who were awarded the food bursaries started using their student cards for daily meals on campus on 1 April 2011.

“The No Student Hungry Campaign is not only about creating a university campus that cares. It is about creating a country where being human matters. Our students on the NSH project are amazing young people. They struggle to get by, but they have great potential and achieve good marks," Prof. Jansen said on Friday.

Prof. Jansen’s wife, Grace, and Dr Carin Buys, wife of Mr Rudi Buys, Dean of Student Affairs, volunteered to drive the programme and raise funds to address the problem. They are supported by various divisions within the university.

Students apply for the bursaries and are selected on the basis of their financial needs, good academic results, active participation in student life programmes and commitment to give something back to the community.

The raising of funds is a continuous process involving awareness campaigns, seeking of partnerships with companies and institutions and support from the general public, staff and individuals.

An agreement has been made with several food outlets/restaurants on campus who offer healthy, balanced meals to NSH students when they swipe their student cards that are funded by the programme.

At the end of the year the process is reviewed and students who still qualify are reinstated on the programme, whilst those whose circumstances have changed or are no longer in need of the bursaries, make way for new applications.

The NSH Team meets with students on a regular basis with the purpose of offering training, motivation and opportunities for personal growth and career development. Students are also expected to become involved in projects as a way of ploughing back into the community.

The goal is to expand the project annually as support for it grows.
Ms Nicky Abdinor, a clinical psychologist from Cape Town, who was born without arms and with shortened legs, provided an entertaining motivational speech at the launch. Ms Abdinor, founder of the Nicky's Drive organisation, also visited the UFS’ Unit for Students with disabilities where she delivered a talk on independence for people living with disabilities.

To become involved with the NSH Programme, please contact Mrs René Pelser on +27(0)51 4019087 or e-mail pelserr@ufs.ac.za.

Media Release
28 March 2012
Issued by: Lacea Loader
Director: Strategic Communication
Tel: +27(0)51 401 2584
Cell: +27(0)83 645 2454
E-mail: news@ufs.ac.za

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