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25 November 2019 | Story Valentino Ndaba | Photo Igno van Niekerk
Rees Mann
Two days before International Men’s Day Rees Mann addressed Kovsies about their responsibility to fight against abuse and rape.

“Half-a-million men commit suicide every year across the world. Men in South Africa are four times more likely to commit suicide than women but we are not talking about it. We try to forget that it exists because we want to assume the role of what society says masculinity should be.” 

Rees Mann, ambassador at the South African Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse (SAMSOSA), made this shocking yet true statement at the first-ever Men’s Breakfast hosted by the University of the Free State (UFS) on 17 November 2019. Mann shared his story of surviving rape and abuse with 140 other men on the Bloemfontein Campus.

The Breakfast took place just days before the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, a time when the nation will be on a drive to further awareness efforts around the issue.

Redefining masculinity and defying toxic masculinity

As a sexual assault survivor, Mann demonstrated what it looks like to lead by example in breaking the silence. “I still suffer from the consequences of being abused and raped. I have semi-facial dystonia, posttraumatic stress disorder, bipolar and Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder but I manage each one of these issues. I am stronger than any other male who suffers in silence instead of seeing a psychologist.”

 “The sad reality is that when a male commits suicide everybody around him says ‘I didn’t know he was so depressed’ because mental health issues for us males are considered a weakness,” said Mann. 

Having walked the walk, Mann believes that seeking help is a sign of strength. “It is time for us men to take a stand and define our own masculinity,” he added.

Ending a vicious cycle
 

Mann pleaded with Kovsie men to join in the fight against the cycle of violence in South Africa. His fear is that if men do not heal themselves and introspect, the cycle of violence and gender-based violence will continue in this country. “Hurt people hurt people. Toxic masculinity kills not only me but women and children too.”

While debunking the myth surrounding rape victims always transforming into rapists, he acknowledged there is a percentage of males who were raped and abused who go on to become rapists and abusers. However, there are also perpetrators who were never sexually assaulted. The onus, according to Mann, is on all males to fight against these crimes to prevent history from repeating itself, in turn making South Africa a safer space for all who live in it.

Why these conversations are critical

Lemena Thebe, a senior officer at Student Academic Services who attended the Men’s Breakfast, was of the view that dialogue is an essential part of the process in the fight against rape, abuse and violence.

“I realised that we as men need to speak out about our challenges. Whether we were victims as boys or suffered any type of abuse as adults, we don’t have to be ashamed,” said Thebe.

News Archive

Lessons of The Spear
2012-08-16

Discussing weighty issues at the UFS were from left: Prof. Jonathan Jansen; Vice-Chancellor and Rector; Nic Dawes, Editor-in-Chief, Mail & Guardian; Max du Preez: Investigative journalist and political columnist; Ferial Haffajee: Editor, City Press; and Justice Malala: Political commentator and newspaper columnist.
Photo: Johan Roux
14 August 2012

What were South Africans left with after The Spear? More importantly, what did we learn from The Spear?

These were the issues discussed at a seminar, Beyond the Spear, on the controversial Brett Murray painting at the Bloemfontein Campus of the University of the Free State (UFS) on Monday 13 August 2012.

The university hosted this seminar, Beyond the Spear, in conjunction with acclaimed journalists, to look deeper into the lessons that South Africans learnt from this painting and the reaction from the public and politicians following soon after it went on display at the Goodman Gallery in Johannesburg.

The four panellists, Mr Justice Malala (political analyst, journalist and host of the news show, The Justice Factor), Mr Nic Dawes (editor in chief of Mail & Guardian), Mr Max du Preez (investigative journalist and political columnist) and Ms Ferial Haffajee (editor of City Press), all presented their views and experiences on the public’s perceptions of this artwork.

In his opening remarks, Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Vice-Chancellor and Rector, said the purpose of the seminar was to help us make sense of what happened. Prof. Jansen also chaired this seminar.

“This being South Africa, there will be more ‘Spears’. More public crises will unfold that divide the nation and that will stir the emotions. We need to understand what happened so that we are better prepared to deal with the coming ‘Spears’.”

Issues on leadership, South Africa’s hurtful past and the freedom of expression were some of the topics raised by the panellists.

“This has taught us that South Africans – especially the older generation – still need to vent their anger… White South Africa must be patient and allow black citizens to shout at them,” said Mr Du Preez. He warned that this anger should serve a constructive purpose. In reaction to a question if Brett Murray did not disrespect Pres. Jacob Zuma’s dignity with his controversial painting, he said that this painting was “…rude and disrespectful.”

“It was meant to be. It was not honouring him.” He said that politicians will do anything, including messing with the country’s stability, to further their own interests. “From now on we need to be far more alert, far more cynical about our politicians.”

Mr Dawes shared his experience and said that the debates around The Spear were very painful considering where the nation has come from. He said the painting opened up painful pasts and difficult spaces. “It is up to the media to open up these difficult spaces.” He said the painting also brought up questions of how South Africans deal and live with pain. “South Africa must live with its past. The debate should now be how to preserve space for the country’s ghosts and how its citizens could get the resilience to deal with it.”

Ms Haffajee, who was caught in the crossfire between freedom of expression and human dignity and who refused to remove a picture of the painting from the City Press website, said that the media was viciously played by politicians.

“This had shown that achieving freedom took many lives, but it took very little to kill it.” She said The Spear is art that it is part of a rich cultural heritage of protest art.

Mr Malala said with the debates around The Spear painting, something died in South Africa. “The debate was taken away from us. We let politicians get to us.”

After the panellists delivered their presentations, Prof. Jansen led a discussion session between the audience and the panellists.

 

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