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Toxic masculinity under the spotlight at UFS Men’s Breakfast

25 November 2019 | Story Valentino Ndaba | Photo Igno van Niekerk

Two days before International Men’s Day Rees Mann addressed Kovsies about their responsibility to fight against abuse and rape.

“Half-a-million men commit suicide every year across the world. Men in South Africa are four times more likely to commit suicide than women but we are not talking about it. We try to forget that it exists because we want to assume the role of what society says masculinity should be.”

Rees Mann, ambassador at the South African Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse (SAMSOSA), made this shocking yet true statement at the first-ever Men’s Breakfast hosted by the University of the Free State (UFS) on 17 November 2019. Mann shared his story of surviving rape and abuse with 140 other men on the Bloemfontein Campus.

The Breakfast took place just days before the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, a time when the nation will be on a drive to further awareness efforts around the issue.

Redefining masculinity and defying toxic masculinity

As a sexual assault survivor, Mann demonstrated what it looks like to lead by example in breaking the silence. “I still suffer from the consequences of being abused and raped. I have semi-facial dystonia, posttraumatic stress disorder, bipolar and Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder but I manage each one of these issues. I am stronger than any other male who suffers in silence instead of seeing a psychologist.”

“The sad reality is that when a male commits suicide everybody around him says ‘I didn’t know he was so depressed’ because mental health issues for us males are considered a weakness,” said Mann.

Having walked the walk, Mann believes that seeking help is a sign of strength. “It is time for us men to take a stand and define our own masculinity,” he added.

Ending a vicious cycle

Mann pleaded with Kovsie men to join in the fight against the cycle of violence in South Africa. His fear is that if men do not heal themselves and introspect, the cycle of violence and gender-based violence will continue in this country. “Hurt people hurt people. Toxic masculinity kills not only me but women and children too.”

While debunking the myth surrounding rape victims always transforming into rapists, he acknowledged there is a percentage of males who were raped and abused who go on to become rapists and abusers. However, there are also perpetrators who were never sexually assaulted. The onus, according to Mann, is on all males to fight against these crimes to prevent history from repeating itself, in turn making South Africa a safer space for all who live in it.

Why these conversations are critical

Lemena Thebe, a senior officer at Student Academic Services who attended the Men’s Breakfast, was of the view that dialogue is an essential part of the process in the fight against rape, abuse and violence.

“I realised that we as men need to speak out about our challenges. Whether we were victims as boys or suffered any type of abuse as adults, we don’t have to be ashamed,” said Thebe.

News Archive

The UFS #FaceOfFacebook

2014-11-14

At the UFS, we are committed to our Human Project, which sets the standard for good behaviour and care. It reaches internally to our students and externally to our prospective students and our communities.

And so, the Kovsies #FaceOfFacebook was born from the need to communicate with students and thus become a virtual friend. Yearly auditions are held to choose the new face representing the UFS on Facebook. The successful candidate holds the title #FaceOfFacebook for the next 12 months, attending events and filming short video clips to post on our Facebook page.

We had a quick chat with our current #FaceOfFacebook, Katleho 'Blue' Letube …

Who is Blue?

"Media mistress, fashion phenom, diva divine darling, superwoman and lover of life.
I was born in a small town called Bothaville, where my mom and her side of the family are living . I started pre-school there, moved and completed my schooling career at St. Andrew's High School (a very proud S aint) in Welkom. That is where my dad and his side of the family are living . Also, I am a proud resident of House NJ vd Merwe and I am studying Governance and Political Transformation."

How do you balance everything you do?

"It's relatively easy for me to strike a balance between my academics, social life and leadership duties, because Jesus is at the centre of all that I do. He is my guide and my strength. However, I also take it upon myself to prioritise. Although I am a '' liker of things'' , I ensure that my academics are the priority and everything else falls into place perfectly."

Are you dating someone?

"Hahaha, wouldn't you just love to know? Well, yes I am off-market. I'm completely taken and I'm happy."

What drives you?

"I always feel the urge to expand myself by working harder, smarter, stronger, and more efficiently. If there's an extra mile to go, the strength inside me draws out the willingness and ability to go that extra mile."

What is it like being the #FaceOfFacebook?

"I have been privileged to be entrusted with this duty and I carry it out with pride and passion. Being the #FaceOfFacebook means you get to meet a new face on campus almost every day, because people recognis e you and want to know you better. This opportunity has opened many doors for me and has equipped me with skills that have allowed me to grow as an individual. Therefore I will forever be grateful."

Where are you going to be in five years from now?

"Five years from now I would like to see myself as a better person both personally and professionally, in a respectable and reputed position earned through my hard work and skills. However, do not be surprised if you see me as a presenter on Vuzu.TV."

Advice to prospective students?

"Do not be that pupil who enrolled at this awesome institute and never takes advantage of its kindness. The University of The Free State is an institution that offers an excessive amount of opportunities to students. Step up and get out of your comfort zone. See an opportunity, seek the opportunity and cease it. You are at a university that provides you with a platform for you to grow."

What's your favourite colour?

My favourite colours are Black, White and Blue – hahaha!!

Kovsies can keep in touch:

Facebook: Katlego Blue Letube
Twitter: @Princess_blue31
Instagram: katlegoletube

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