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Toxic masculinity under the spotlight at UFS Men’s Breakfast

25 November 2019 | Story Valentino Ndaba | Photo Igno van Niekerk

Two days before International Men’s Day Rees Mann addressed Kovsies about their responsibility to fight against abuse and rape.

“Half-a-million men commit suicide every year across the world. Men in South Africa are four times more likely to commit suicide than women but we are not talking about it. We try to forget that it exists because we want to assume the role of what society says masculinity should be.”

Rees Mann, ambassador at the South African Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse (SAMSOSA), made this shocking yet true statement at the first-ever Men’s Breakfast hosted by the University of the Free State (UFS) on 17 November 2019. Mann shared his story of surviving rape and abuse with 140 other men on the Bloemfontein Campus.

The Breakfast took place just days before the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, a time when the nation will be on a drive to further awareness efforts around the issue.

Redefining masculinity and defying toxic masculinity

As a sexual assault survivor, Mann demonstrated what it looks like to lead by example in breaking the silence. “I still suffer from the consequences of being abused and raped. I have semi-facial dystonia, posttraumatic stress disorder, bipolar and Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder but I manage each one of these issues. I am stronger than any other male who suffers in silence instead of seeing a psychologist.”

“The sad reality is that when a male commits suicide everybody around him says ‘I didn’t know he was so depressed’ because mental health issues for us males are considered a weakness,” said Mann.

Having walked the walk, Mann believes that seeking help is a sign of strength. “It is time for us men to take a stand and define our own masculinity,” he added.

Ending a vicious cycle

Mann pleaded with Kovsie men to join in the fight against the cycle of violence in South Africa. His fear is that if men do not heal themselves and introspect, the cycle of violence and gender-based violence will continue in this country. “Hurt people hurt people. Toxic masculinity kills not only me but women and children too.”

While debunking the myth surrounding rape victims always transforming into rapists, he acknowledged there is a percentage of males who were raped and abused who go on to become rapists and abusers. However, there are also perpetrators who were never sexually assaulted. The onus, according to Mann, is on all males to fight against these crimes to prevent history from repeating itself, in turn making South Africa a safer space for all who live in it.

Why these conversations are critical

Lemena Thebe, a senior officer at Student Academic Services who attended the Men’s Breakfast, was of the view that dialogue is an essential part of the process in the fight against rape, abuse and violence.

“I realised that we as men need to speak out about our challenges. Whether we were victims as boys or suffered any type of abuse as adults, we don’t have to be ashamed,” said Thebe.

News Archive

Almost 2000 degrees and diplomas conferred at Winter Graduation

2015-06-26

Live streaming will be available on: http://livestream.ufs.ac.za/

The 2015 Winter Graduations are almost underway. The highlight on the university calendar for every graduate will take place on the Bloemfontein Campus on 1-2 July 2015. On 1 July 2015, diplomas will be awarded by the Centre of Financial Planning Law (331 in total) and the School of Open Learning (376 in total). On 2 July 2015, a total of 1 220 master’s and doctoral degrees will be awarded to graduates from all seven faculties.

A highlight at this year’s Winter Graduation is the awarding of three honorary degrees by the university. Ambassador Lakhdar Brahimi, Dr Mercy Oduyoye and Mr John Samuel will receive honorary degrees.

On 17 August 2012, Ambassador Brahimi was appointed by the United Nations as the new peace envoy to Syria, replacing Kofi Annan. He is also a member of the Commission on Legal Empowerment of the Poor, the first global initiative to focus specifically on the link between exclusion, poverty and the law. Prof Heidi Hudson, Head of the Centre for Africa Studies at the UFS, will receive the honorary degree on his behalf.

Dr Oduyoye is widely regarded as one of the most influential women theologians Africa has produced in recent history. Currently, she directs the Institute of African Women in Religion and Culture at the Trinity Theology Seminary in Legon, Ghana.

Mr John Samuel, who will receive an honorary award, is also scheduled to be a guest speaker at the two ceremonies on 1 July 2015.

Wednesday 1 July 2015:

John Samuel will be the speaker at both ceremonies. He is one of South Africa’s leading education experts with international and national experience, covering a period of more than forty years. He was involved in the founding of the South African Campaign: Public Participation in Education Network (PPEN), established the Centre for Education Policy Development, the Joint Working Group (for The National Party Government and the ANC), the National Education Conference, and the National Education and Training Forum. He also made leadership contributions to the First Education and Training White Paper, the Transformation Strategy for the National Education Department, and the first Green Paper on Higher Education.

John is also Senior Programme Director of the WK Kellogg Foundation in the USA. He has also been the Chief Executive of the Nelson Mandela Foundation, and the CEO of the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls.

Thursday 2 July 2015:

Nataniël will be the speaker at both ceremonies. Nataniël is a singer, songwriter, and South African entertainer, who has crossed from the alternative circuit to the stage. For the past 10 years, he has become well-known for his outspoken Kaalkop column in SARIE magazine. His solo career was launched in 1987 and, since then, he has released 16 albums, staged more than 70 original theatre productions, and published 15 books. Over the past two decades, Nataniël has gained the title of South Africa’s leading exponent of the solo stage act. He manages Kaalkop Studio, his lifestyle retail company, and records on his own independent label, Nataniël House Of Music. He is an ambassador for Child Welfare SA, and also heads his own charitable foundation, The Nataniël Progress Project.

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