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10 December 2020 | Story Sibongile Madlala | Photo Supplied
Sibongile Mdlala End of Gender-based Violence
Sibongile Madlala believes it is time to get every single South African involved in the fight to eradicate gender-based violence and not to look away or to stand on the side-line watching.

Sibongile Madlala, Crime Investigations Officer in Protection Services, believes it is time to get every single South African – especially boys and men – involved in the fight to eradicate gender-based violence and not to look away or to stand on the side-line watching.


“It is a time to observe that to date, gender-based violence awareness messages still promote the idea that it only affects women and children (girls) and to a certain extent ignores the plight of the LGBTIQ community, men and boys,” she says.

Report, do not keep quiet

It is time for the government and other relevant stakeholders to do everything possible to establish the root causes of GBV. She feels it is necessary to pay attention to and address matters such as mental health (of the offender and the victim/survivor), victim-offender overlap, patriarchal lines, and cultural practices that perpetuate gender inequalities.

“Government also need to observe the value of training officers of the law and the justice department, as it takes a special kind of person to deal and assist victims accordingly,” she says. 
 

Madlala is convinced that the criminal justice system needs to revisit the laws, policies, and systems that are dealing with gender-based violence-related matters, as it is failing the victims. “It is unfair to expect a victim to recount every single intimate detail in chronological order; it is also unfair to expect a minor or a mentally challenged person to stand in a box facing the perpetrator as they lead evidence over a lengthened period. The failure to implement child-friendly facilities is not acceptable,” she adds. 

“It is said that knowledge is power, and
I believe the sooner this pandemic is understood
by the victims, perpetrators, and handlers
— the sooner we will see some changes in this regard.”
—Sibongile Madlala

Dealing with perpetrators

There is a National Sexual Offenders register in which the names of all prosecuted offenders are listed when they are found guilty. In dealing with perpetrators, she suggests a similar national offender register for gender-based violence offenders. “It is important that offenders are known, as those who need to protect are sometimes abusers themselves,” says Madlala.

The 16 days of activism is a time to let everybody know that gender-based violence is not a private matter. “It is said that knowledge is power, and I believe that the sooner this pandemic is understood by the victims, perpetrators, and handlers – the sooner we will see some changes in this regard.” 

She deems it important that victims are taught the importance of reporting and not protecting the abuser, and she emphasises the significance of ensuring that the voices of survivors, activists, and those mandated to address these matters at grassroots level are amplified and listened to.

Madlala sees this period as a celebration of survivors, the victors, heroes and heroines, young and old – especially those who have chosen to speak out about their traumatic experiences, knowing that the response may be negative.
 
“It is a time to commemorate all victims of gender-based violence and to raise awareness, stimulate advocacy efforts, and share knowledge on this topic,” she says.

It is time …

News Archive

But do you forgive yourself, Eugene de Kock? asks Candice Mama
2015-03-16

From the left are: Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Candice Mama and Prof André Keet, Director of the UFS Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice.
Photo: O'Ryan Heideman

 

Candice Mama: Audio

Candice Mama and her family met with her father’s assassin. Eugene de Kock. Prime Evil. Commander of the apartheid government’s covert Vlakplaas police unit. And what followed from this meeting was one of our country’s most poignant gestures of reconciliation. One by one, each family member expressed their forgiveness of De Kock, and soon afterwards, he was granted parole.

Candice recently visited the Bloemfontein Campus to talk about ‘An Unexpected Encounter with Eugene de Kock: A Journey of Transformation’. The event was a collaborative effort between the Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice and Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies.

“What makes it possible to cross the boundary from loss and pain to bond with the person who hurt you?” Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, asked Candice. “I had to educate myself about the when, where, and how, to get a context for Eugene de Kock,” she answered. With the encouragement of her mother, Candice became an avid reader from an early age. She devoured information, so that she could build a picture of this man within a specific historical and political context. What also contributed to this moment of reconciliation for her was De Kock humbling himself and taking full responsibility for his actions.

This meeting was not without inner conflict for Candice, though. “Why am I crying for hím?” she asked herself as she listened to him speak. “Why am I laughing?” she chastised herself as De Kock preened shyly for a group photograph with the family. “Is there something wrong with me to connect with him?” She questioned her values and beliefs. But instead of a monster, Candice saw the true essence of a repentant human being.

But how do you know he didn’t fake it, many people asked. Because it was “one of the most sincere and honest encounters I’ve experienced,” she said. During their meeting, Candice saw a man “crushed by the world”. Everything he believed as a young man, he realised, was a lie.

“Do you forgive yourself?” Candice asked the one question De Kock feared most. And in that moment, he was humanised for her. “When you’ve done the things I’ve done,” De Kock replied, “how do you forgive yourself?”
It remains an open question. But this act of forgiveness gives an entire country hope.

 

For more information or enquiries contact news@ufs.ac.za.

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