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22 October 2020 | Story Emma Morape | Photo Supplied
Emma Morape, who battled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, believes it is important to love and be kind to yourself. She urges others to remember that they are loved and appreciated.

I am Emerentia Morape, mostly known as Emma. I am 21 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have been battling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Since Grade 7, I have had problems with my identity, body, and attempting suicide. I have spent years overdosing on pills and trying other methods to kill myself. In the darkest years of my life, I resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pressures of varsity, family, wrong friendships, body changes, and getting into toxic relationships.

However, those dark years did have some light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was the very good friends that I made when I arrived on campus. For the first time in my life, I could open up to people about the pain and struggles that I am going through without feeling judged, and they advised me to see a psychologist to get professional help. So, I went to Student Counselling and Development, talked to a psychologist, and started feeling better. The only problem was that I thought depression was something that could be fixed quickly by talking to someone and then life goes back to normal. So, as quickly as I got better, I ended up in a darker depressive hole. 

I then started seeing Dr Melissa Barnaschone at Student Counselling and Development and attended well-being workshops. I attended the Self-Esteem Programme, the GROW programme, and the REBT Programme, which helped me deal with my anger. Lize Wolmarans, also from Student Counselling and Development, really helped a lot with the GROW and Self-Esteem programmes.

I was in a safe environment where I could have my own opinion and could curse and cry as much as I wanted to. I keep the book and notes from the workshops with me for when I go through horrible episodes of anxiety, self-acceptance, and those ‘I do not want to see or talk to anyone’ days; it really helps me to get back into perspective and give me a sense of hope for the future. Being able to talk to Dr Barnaschone and my lecturer, Dr Visser, about anything that I experience – personal or professional – and being able to ask for guidance and not feel judged, has been the greatest help this year, including the struggles of the pandemic.

I am also a rapper and songwriter; so, through Dr Barnaschone, I have been able to go back to my passion and write songs about my depression and growth. It has allowed me to be a better version of myself. I have been able to record and perform these songs and use them as a tool on my journey of peace.

Hope, to me, means peace through the storm, because hope does not mean that everything is perfect; it is keeping the faith when you are walking through the fire and believing that you will make it to the end. On your journey to find yourself and peace, you will be victorious. I remain hopeful, because every time I look back on my life thinking of the pain and heartache I went through, I find a glimmer of hope knowing that I have been through hell and still made it out; so, I can conquer whatever struggles come my way.

My message to the UFS community and humanity is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel every emotion and pain you experience. The grass is always greener on the other side, so do not be shy or scared to speak out and get help. Talk to trusted friends and family about anything that you are experiencing and is overwhelming you, even if it is just to vent. 

Talk to a psychologist or social worker, attend as many mental-health workshops as you can, read about mental health. Even though it is not something you are experiencing personally, you might be able to help someone close to you and save a life. And remember to live a healthy, balanced life, meditate as much as you can, spend time with yourself.

Most importantly, love and be kind to yourself! Remember that you are loved and appreciated, even by people that you do not know; so, keep your head up and spread light, love, and positivity.

News Archive

Moshoeshoe film screened at UFS as part of transformation programme
2004-10-14

A ground-breaking documentary film on the life and legacy of King Moshoeshoe I, the founder of the Basotho nation, will be screened at the University of the Free State (UFS) tonight (Wednesday 13 October 2004) at 19:00.

Rector and Vice-Chancellor of the UFS, prof. Frederick Fourie, said the UFS commissioned the documentary as a practical demonstration of the university’s commitment to the continued transformation of the campus and the creation of a new inclusive institutional culture for all staff and students.

It is part of a larger UFS project to honour the Moshoeshoe legacy of nation-building and reconciliation and to explore his role as a model of African leadership.

The documentary tells the life story of the legendary king, with emphasis on his remarkable leadership skills, his extraordinary talent for diplomacy and conflict resolution and his visionary commitment to creating a new nation from a fragmented society.

Almost all the filming was done on or around Moshoeshoe’s mountain stronghold, Thaba Bosiu.

The last part of the documentary explores the lessons for African leadership to be learnt from Moshoeshoe. The hour-long documentary film was produced by the well-known journalist Mr Max du Preez and was commissioned by the UFS as part of its centenary celebrations.

“Through this documentary film about King Moshoeshoe, the UFS commits itself to developing a shared appreciation of the history of this country,” said prof. Fourie.

“King Moshoeshoe was a great African statesman and leader. He was born in this region of the country, but his influence and legacy extends way beyond the borders of the Free State, Lesotho and even way beyond the borders of South Africa,” said prof. Fourie.

As part of the larger project, the UFS is investigating a possible annual Moshoeshoe memorial lecture that will focus on African leadership, nation-building and reconciliation, possible PhD-level research into the life and legacy of King Moshoeshoe and a literary anthology including prose and poetry.

“We must gain a deeper understanding of what really happened during his reign as king. Therefore the University of the Free State will encourage and support further research into the history, politics and sociology of the Moshoeshoe period, including his leadership style,” said prof. Fourie.

According to prof. Fourie the Moshoeshoe project will enable the UFS to give real meaning to respect for the diversity of our languages and cultures, and the unity South Africans seek to build as a democratic nation through such diversity.

According to the producer of the documentary, journalist Mr Max du Preez, the UFS deserves credit for recognising this extraordinary man and for financing this important documentary.

Du Preez said: “It was about time that South Africa rediscovered Moshoeshoe. Colonialist and Afrikaner Nationalist historians have painted him as a sly, untrustworthy and weak leader. Most historians have preferred to glorify leaders in South Africa’s past who were aggressors and conquerors. In the process most present-day South Africans came to regard Moshoeshoe as a minor tribal figure.”

“Yet this was the man who broke the cycle of violence, famine and suffering during the traumatic time in central South Africa in the early 1800s. During the entire 19th century, Moshoeshoe was virtually the only leader in South Africa who did not answer violence with violence, who did not set forth to conquer other groups and expand his land,” said Mr du Preez.

“I have no doubt that the stability that the Free State region has enjoyed over more than a century was largely due to Moshoeshoe’s leadership and vision. He can quite rightly be called “The Nelson Mandela of the 19th Century,” Mr du Preez added.

Explaining the title of the documentary film, Mr du Preez said: “We decided to call the documentary “The Reniassance King” because whichever way one looks at it, Moshoeshoe symbolised everything behind the concept of an African Renaissance.”

“He was progressive, just and fair; he deeply respected human life and dignity (we would nowadays call it human rights); he embraced modernity and technology without ever undermining his own people’s culture or natural wisdom; he never allowed European or Western influence to overwhelm him, make him insecure or take away his pride as an African,” said Mr du Preez.

“Moshoeshoe was the best of Africa. If only contemporary African leaders would follow his example of what African leadership should be,” Mr du Preez said.

Among the interviewees in the film were Lesotho’s most prominent historian, Dr LBBJ Machobane, the head of the UFS’s Department of History, prof. Leo Barnard, Moshoeshoe expert and Gauteng educationist Dr Peter Seboni, Lesotho author and historian Martin Lelimo and Chief Seeiso Bereng Seeiso, Principal Chief of Matsieng and direct descendant of the first King of the Basotho.

The documentary film on King Moshoeshoe will be screened on SABC 2 on Thursday 4 November 2004.
 

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