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12 October 2020 | Story Xolisa Mnukwa | Photo Supplied
Your kindness is contagious
Counselling psychologist at the university, Nhlori Ngobeni, believes that what you give to others does not necessarily leave your life; it comes back to you in some way or another, for the benefit of your health and well-being.

The month of October has been declared Mental Health Awareness Month, with the objective of not only educating the public about mental health, but also to reduce the stigma and discrimination to which people with mental illness are often subjected.

The COVID-19 global pandemic and the subsequent implementation of the lockdown have had an impact on all aspects of our lives: family, relationships, the economy, educational institutions, health system, to name a few.

As stipulated by the South African Department of Health and the South African Federation for Mental Health, mental-health problems come as the result of a complex interplay between biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors.

With that being said, University of the Free State (UFS) counselling psychologist and writer of the article Ubuntu, Nhlori Ngobeni, explains that the demands of our changing world can become quite overwhelming, leaving one feeling burdened by all the changes they need to make. She reflected on the increased challenges that students have experienced in their academics, physical and mental health, finances, and interpersonal relationships as a result of the pandemic, and how the spirit of Ubuntu can act as a catalyst of support.

Nelson Mandela defined Ubuntu as “the profound sense that we are human only through the humanity of others; that if we are to accomplish anything in this world, it will in equal measure be due to the work and achievement of others”.

Exercising your humanity through actions, words, gestures,
and thoughts can aid the sustenance of humanity.


Benefits of Ubuntu

Ngobeni further elaborated that living out your humanity should not be done to get something in return. She explained the essence and benefits of Ubuntu as the belief that being kind to others is like planting a seed and watering it daily. “It is guaranteed to yield some fruits. What you give to others does not necessarily leave your life; it comes back to you in some way or another, for the benefit of your health and well-being,” she added.

Ubuntu in action
Exercising your humanity through actions, words, gestures, and thoughts can aid the sustenance of humanity.

Here are some ways you can live out your humanity:

Live out your values: showing love; caring for and respecting others; choosing to forgive; having sympathy and empathy; being kind and compassionate.
Acts of service: spending time with others; sharing your knowledge; running an errand for the elderly; making a cup of tea for your parents or organising a movie or games night for your family.
Giving: food, clothes, time, or money.
• Being intentional: being genuine and present in your everyday experiences or encounters. Calling a classmate or friend and checking on them.
• Gestures: greeting, nodding, smiling, waving, etc. … simply acknowledging others.

Visit the Kovsie Life Well-being Warriors page for important telephone numbers and online resources offered by the UFS Department of Student Counselling and Development.

News Archive

“You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance” – Dr Mamphela Ramphele during second Leah Tutu Gender Symposium
2015-02-28

 

From the left are: Samantha van Schalkwyk, Zanele Mbeki, Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela and Dr Mamphela Ramphele.
Photo: Johan Roux

 

Video message from Mrs Leah Tutu

Session 1: Keynote address by Dr Mamphela Ramphele
Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man 

Session 2: Professor Robert Morrell from the University of Cape Town
South African Gender Studies: Setting the context

Session 3: How can we engage young men to act against violence against women?
Panel discussion by Lisa Vetten (Wits Institute for Social and Economic Research), Despina Learmonth (Psychology Department, University of Cape Town) and Wessel van den Berg (Sonke Gender Justice) 

Session 4: Professor Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela
Self-defence as a strategy for women’s resistance: Reflections on the work of Susan Brison
 

Engaging men to act against gender-based violence in the Southern African context.

This was the theme of the second International Leah Tutu Symposium, hosted by the Gender Initiative of Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies of the University of the Free State (UFS) on Tuesday 24 February 2015.

What does it mean to be man? How can men become active in the fight against gender-based violence? And when does one say: enough is enough? Questions like these set the tone as highly-respected individuals such as Dr Mamphela Ramphele, Prof Rob Morrell, Lisa Vetten and Andy Kawa took to the stage in the Odeion on the Bloemfontein Campus.

Leah Tutu
Unfortunately, Mrs Leah Tutu could not attend this year’s event, but she still managed to send sparks of wit and insight into the auditorium. In her video message, Mrs Tutu referred to the fact that our country has “consigned discriminatory legislation to the rubbish bin of the past”, but we continue to inhabit a divided society.

“We have a constitution and bill of rights that should have sounded the death knell for patriarchy. But women are unsafe across the land,” Mrs Tutu said. “Our freedom cost too much to be left out in the rain,” she urged.

Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man
In Dr Ramphele’s keynote address, “Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man”, she scrutinised the dominant masculinity model that has supported an alpha-male mentality for millennia. A mentality that celebrates dominance, power and control – where the winner takes it all. How then, can we expect our young boys to embrace the value system of a human rights culture?

“Gender equality is at the heart of our constitutional democratic values. Yet, our society continues to privilege and celebrate the alpha male as a masculinity model,” Dr Ramphele said. This dissonance can only produce conflict and violence.

We encourage our young men to be gentle, communicative, caring people who show their emotions. And when they do, what do we as women do? Do we encourage them?

“Or do we join those who call them wimps, moffies, sissies? How do we respond when they are ridiculed?” Dr Ramphele asked. Are we, as mothers, fathers and grandparents willing to socialise our children to acknowledge a diversity of masculinities as equally valid in our society?

The new man and the new woman of the 21st century need to be liberated from the conflict-ridden dominant masculinity model. They need to be able to shape their identity in line with a value system of human rights as enshrined in our constitution.

Perhaps Dr Ramphele’s message could be summed up by one sentence: You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance.

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