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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo copy — Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

News Archive

UFS takes 70 first-year students to the USA

2010-08-20

Mr Rudi Buys (middle, with tie) with some of the students selected for the F1 Programme
Photo: Gerhard Louw

The University of the Free State (UFS) has announced the names of the first ever group of 70 first-year students that will travel to the United States of America (USA) as part of the university’s Student Leadership Development Programme.

This group of students will spend two weeks at universities in the USA to experience student life and learn about leadership and diversity at these universities.

“This is a first for not only the UFS, but also for South Africa and we are incredibly proud. The programme is unique to any other student leadership development programme in the country. We are leading the way and are taking students to live and learn amongst students at various universities across the USA,” said Mr Rudi Buys, Dean of Student Affairs at the UFS.

The programme was one of the goals of Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Rector and Vice-Chancellor of the UFS, which he aimed to realise when he was appointed by the UFS in 2009.

“With the programme we want to develop participants’ thinking and capacity to lead in the contexts of diversity and change and we hope to direct them to programmes leading change in student life in general upon their return,” Mr Buys said.

The 70 students will leave for the USA on 22 September 2010. After spending some time there and learning more about their American peers’ lives and culture, they will return to the UFS on 7 October 2010.

“We took great care in selecting the 70 participants. They are representative of all our students, as well as students from our Qwaqwa Campus,” said Mr Buys.

A rigorous selection process was followed, which focused on the students’ academic excellence, their participation in student- and residence-life programmes and their interest in growing in the areas of, amongst others, leadership, diversity and citizenship. Each candidate had to undergo a pre-selection process, followed by a panel interview consisting of staff from various faculties and divisions at the UFS.

The students will stay in groups of about ten at the various universities, which include universities such as Cornell University, New York University, the University of Massachusetts, the Appalachian State University and Virginia Polytechnic University. “These universities will provide our students with accommodation and will present various academic and cultural programmes which our students will participate in and learn from,” said Mr Buys.

“We have also put a programme in place to prepare our students thoroughly for the trip. Because some of them have never travelled on an aeroplane, let alone travelled to a foreign country, we have made arrangements with the Department of Home Affairs for assistance with travel documentation, as well as special arrangements with the USA Embassy for assistance with visas. They will also be attending workshops focusing on, amongst others, research, leadership and diversity before their departure on 22 September 2010.

“Upon their arrival in the USA the group of students will firstly be taken to Washington DC where they will be briefed about American customs, etc. From there they will be placed at the various universities,” said Mr Buys.

Upon their return the students must be involved in student-life programmes on campus, establish volunteer programmes and initiate and establish mentoring programmes for their fellow students. “We want them to give back what they have learnt and experienced,” said Mr Buys.

“We are planning on implementing the Student Leadership Development Programme as an annual programme and are looking forward to this incredible programme through which this group of first-year students will have the opportunity of a lifetime to be true ambassadors of South Africa and, in particular, the UFS, as they leave for the USA,” he said.

Media Release:
Mangaliso Radebe
Assistant Director: Media Liaison
Tel: 051 401 2828
Cell: 078 460 3320
E-mail: radebemt@ufs.ac.za
20 August 2010

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