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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo copy — Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

News Archive

Legal elite tackle thorny issue of corruption

2013-01-24

Our Faculty of Law brought together top experts and judges for a Symposium on Corruption, to investigate one of the most pressing concerns of South Africans.
Photo: Stephen Collett
24 January 2013

YouTube Video

Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng yesterday (24 January 2013) concluded the proceedings of the first day of the International Symposium on Corruption, hosted by the Faculty of Law of the University of the Free State (UFS). In his address Justice Mogoeng made no excuses as to the magnitude of the threat corruption presents to South African citizens.

“Urgent action and efficient measures are called for to arrest this scourge, for the sake of our constitutional democracy,” he warned. “Our vibrant constitutional democracy will not and cannot survive in the face of rampant corruption.”

Justice Mogoeng said the spate of civil and labour unrest erupting throughout the country can be attributed to corruption. According to him the scope and far-reaching implications of corruption drives South Africans to “boiling point” and evokes “anger, frustration and a don’t-care-attitude that often manifests in widespread protest actions” and disrespect for the rule of law.

“South Africans, irrespective of race or creed, must identify and focus on their common enemies and find a conciliatory and unifying way of dealing with what divides them, including the lingering prejudices of the past,” Justice Mogoeng urged.

Despite the threat corruption poses, he stressed that all South Africans have a role to play in the fight against corruption and that there are different role players that can become involved in the process. Especially important is the media and faith-based agencies which, according to Justice Mogoeng, can regenerate morals and secure a “national moral code.” The State must further ensure enforcement of anti-corruption measures and preside over the selection of individuals of “solid character” to reside in agencies meant to fight corruption.

He highlighted the need for an unbiased and independent judiciary, one immune to outside influences controlled by powerful forces, as well as personal agendas.

Although Justice Mogoeng believes that the private sector is most guilty of transgressions based on corruption, he stated that a “well-coordinated war” against it must be waged in all sectors in order to stamp it out.

Justice Mogoeng presided over the unveiling of the redesigned foyer of the CR Swart Building and praised the Faculty of Law for its innovation with regard to the symposium.

“I look forward with great optimism to more well-organised symposiums that strike at the nerve-centre of the well-being of our constitutional democracy,” he concluded.

Symposium seeks answers and solutions

The Faculty of Law at the University of the Free State (UFS) concluded its International Symposium on Corruption on Friday 25 January 2013. The event featured a stellar cast of speakers, including the Chief Justice of South Africa, three current Supreme Court of Appeal judges, high-court judges, advocates, prosecutors, journalists, as well as local and international legal academics.

Throughout the two-day symposium, corruption was dissected as a severe problem in the South African socio-economic landscape and solutions were sought to alleviate the pressing concern.

The main attractions of the symposium were undoubtedly the attendance and presentations delivered by Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng, as well as Prof. Leon Wessels. Prof. Wessels was described as “one of the founding fathers of the constitution of South Africa” by Judge Fritz Brand, a current Appeal Court judge and the third-longest serving judge in the country.

“Corruption is stealing the constitutional dream of this country. Corrupt leaders are fearless, those who expose corruption, are fearful,” Prof. Wessels warned.

Judge Brand closely trails the second longest serving judge in the country in former Kovsie, as well as former UFS Council Chairman, Judge Faan Hancke. Both judges addressed the symposium and chaired sessions, along with Prof. Johan Henning, Dean of the Faculty of Law, and Judge Ian van der Merwe, Chairman of the UFS Council.

It was, however, not all doom and gloom, as several of the speakers offered tangible ideas in what was often termed the “war on corruption”. Celebrated Sunday Times journalist Mzilikazi wa Afrika who has been arrested following the police leasing scandal which he exposed, urged South Africans to stand together in their fight against corruption, before it is too late.

People on the front lines in the day to day fight against corruption also spoke at the symposium, giving the audience a better understanding of the intricacies and challenges involved in the process. The Head of the National Prosecuting Authority’s Asset Forfeiture Unit, Mr Willie Hofmeyer, as well as Advocate Xolisile Khanyile, who is the Director of Public Prosecutions in the Free State, elucidated this struggle.

The symposium also hosted Prof. Chizu Makajima, a celebrated academic from the United Kingdom.

The two-day symposium ended in style as the delegates gathered in the Centenary Hall on the Bloemfontein Campus for lunch, with a further address by Prof. Leon Wessels

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