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He’s just not man enough: The social expectation of masculinity

19 November 2021 | Story Nontombi Velelo | Photo Supplied

Nontombi Velelo is a PhD candidate and Lecturer in the Department of Sociology at the University of the Free State (UFS).

Current reports related to gender reflect and emphasise the negative impact of gender on society — especially the negative impact of men and masculinity in society. Studies are conducted to understand the root(s) and triggers of men’s social conduct/misconduct. Without a doubt, men are often guilty of causing some of the social ills. However, we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures and challenges that society presents to men. In most instances, the focus in reporting is on their conduct/misconduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

It is worth pointing out that masculinity is not a static entity – it is flexible, evolving, and adapts to different contexts. However, there is a struggle between upholding the traditional practices of masculinity and the desire for modern and liberal practices of masculinity. The concept of ‘traditional’ masculinity is frequently used when investigating the construction and practices of masculinity. This concept is often understood as the opposite of the modern representation of masculinity. Yet, it refers to what is considered to make a man a ‘real’ man – attributes such as independence, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, physical toughness, and emotional restrictedness. These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules, and norms. We often expect men to possess these attributes, particularly independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional restrictedness. Without a doubt, these expectations present challenges for men. Men are less likely to express their feelings – they are also not expected to express their emotions. Besides, men are not as expressive as women and the signs of mental illness are not the same as those in women. Though we expect men to man-up and demonstrate strength when confronted with challenges, we are not aware of the damage this may cause to their mental and emotional well-being. According to the World Health Organisation (2021), South African men are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Of more than 6 000 cases of suicide, 5 138 were men, which translates to 21,8 per 100 000. This indicates the need to unlearn the damaging expectations of gender.

Men’s socio-economic and socio-political positions influence how they view and practise their masculinity. Though Statistics South Africa (2021) reported that 32,4% of men are unemployed (compared to 36,8% of unemployed women), South African men living in poverty find themselves in a stressful climate, as they are unable to live up to their and others’ ideas of ‘successful masculinity’. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognised or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered ‘less of a man’ since they cannot fulfil the expectation of financial provision. This, subsequently, affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children.

Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process within the family. A family is a training ground where members are trained and taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Within the family structure, men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles – one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal ‘boyish’ behaviour; therefore, it is perceived to be expected of a boy child to resort to violence. It is expected of a boy child to retaliate/fight back when facing conflict. Consequently, violence is viewed as a measure to correct behaviour associated with disobedience or challenging masculine authority. The Mail & Guardian reported in 2020 that one in five women in South Africa experienced violence at a partner’s hands. South Africa has witnessed an increase in gang rapes, most of the first-time rape offenders being teenage boys (SafeSpace, 2021). Teenage boys are not only members of society but also members of the family. This does not imply that parents are responsible for the acts of their children. However, it demonstrates the need to interrogate and challenge the socialisation process as far as gender roles and expectations are concerned. Regardless of the mentioned challenges associated with masculinity, there are individual men in society who have invested efforts to transform the masculine scripts and to cultivate positive male attributes. These are men who strive to be good citizens, husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, the efforts invested by these individual men tend to be disregarded in society, since the focus is always on unpacking and reflecting the toxic actions and attributes of men.

Commemoration of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day commemorates the positive contribution of men to their world, families, and communities. The day aims to create awareness around the well-being of men. As we celebrate this day, it is important to recognise and acknowledge male pain. Society often disregards male pain and focuses on male privilege.

Furthermore, recognising ways in which men are hurt by rigid gender roles and expectations and social settings where these roles and expectations are practised, does not imply disregard for the struggle and oppression of women. With the 2021 slogan being ‘Better relations between men and women’, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men. It is also important to encourage men to construct their own identities that are different from those prescribed by patriarchy. Although most men might not be oppressed by sexism in ways similar to women, we need to pay much closer attention to how men suffer the consequences of sexism. It is worth recognising that men do not derive the common benefits from sexist oppression, since they do not hold a common social position. It is important to acknowledge the role of individual men in changing the masculine narrative. May we recognise such individuals in our homes, workplaces, and communities. There is a need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal expectations of gender.

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New SRC: Records of support and a victory for women

2014-09-04

Ms Mosa Leteane and Ms Louzanne Coetzee
Photo: Johan Roux

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While campuses across South Africa regularly report falling voter turnout in campus elections of student representatives, the University of the Free State, in its recently completed SRC elections, registered record levels of support across our campuses with a total voter turnout of 44%. At the Bloemfontein Campus 34,4% of students voted (5052 votes) and 53,3% (1583 votes) at the Qwaqwa Campus.

Also, for the first time under the new SRC constitution, students elected a woman to lead the student body – Ms Mosa Leteane was elected as President. Another first was the election of a blind woman to the SRC – Ms Louzanne Coetzee. She will be responsible for student accessibility of our Bloemfontein SRC. This marks a victory for women in student governance.

Mr Tulasizwe Sithole was elected as the President of the SRC at our Qwaqwa Campus.

The election of Ms Leteane as President underscores the progress achieved for gender equality with near half of her SRC consisting of women (48%).

These successes are all the more significant, since this is the 4th year of elections under newly adopted SRC constitutions that allow for broader participation of diverse student constituencies in student governance.

This means that the crucial 3-year mark to test a new approach and method in governance and elections was not only successfully reached, but also in its 4th year shows the constitution as one that sustains its impact to deepen democracy and citizenship among our 30,000-strong student body.

“The results of the SRC elections across campuses show that our students are not only ready to lead our campus communities on issues relating to justice, freedom and democracy beyond our societal legacies of race and gender, but do so also for the student movement nationally. We’re immensely proud of our students, who show courage and resilience to choose leaders not for expediency, but for significance, and to lead not for some, but for all”, the Dean of Student Affairs, Rudi Buys, said.

The Qwaqwa SRC was installed on 2 September 2014, while the Bloemfontein SRC will be installed on 5 September. The Central SRC will be established on 14 September by joint sitting of the two SRCs.

The SRC members 2014/15 at the Bloemfontein and Qwaqwa Campuses are as follows:

Bloemfontein Elective portfolios:
President: Ms Mosa Leteane
Vice Pres: Mr Waldo Staude
Secretary: Ms Dineo Motaung
Treasurer: Ms Maphenye Maditsi
Arts & Culture: Mr Stefan van der Westhuizen
Accessibility & Student Support: Ms Louzanne Coetzee
First Generation Students: Ms Mpho Khati
Media, Marketing & Liaison: Ms Lethabo Maebana
Legal & Constitutional Affairs: Mr Lindokuhle Ntuli
Sport: Ms Dominique de Gouveia
Student development & Environmental Affairs: Mr Victor Ngubeni
Transformation: Mr Tumelo Rapitsi

Bloemfontein Ex officio Portfolios
Dialogue & Ex officio: Associations Student Council: Mr Piet Thibane
Academic Affairs & Ex officio: Academic Affairs Student Council: Mr Jonathan Ruwanika
Residence Affairs & Ex officio: Campus Residences Student Council: Ms Melissa Taljaard
City student Affairs & Ex officio: Commuter Student Council: Ms Kerry-Beth Berry
Post graduate Affairs & Ex officio: Post Graduate Student Council: Ms Masabata Mokgesi
International Affairs & Ex officio: International Student Council: Mr Makate Maieane
Student Media Affairs & Ex officio: Student Media Council: Mr Samuel Phuti
RAG Community Service & Ex officio: RAG Fundraising Council: Mr Johan du Plessis
RAG Community Service & Ex officio: RAG Community Service Council: Mr Manfred Titus

Qwaqwa Elective portfolios:
President General: Mr Thulasizwe Sithole
Deputy President: Ms Zethu Mhlongo
Secretary General: Mr Vukani Ntuli
Treasurer General: Mr Langelihle Mbense
Media & Publicity: Ms Nongcebo Qwabe
Politics & Transformation: Ms Nkosiphile Zwane

Qwaqwa Ex officio Portfolios
Student Development & Environmental Affairs: Mr Ndumiso Memela
Academic Affairs: Mr Simon Mofekeng
Arts & Cultural Affairs: Ms Samkelo Mtshali
Off-Campus Students: Mr Khanyisani Mbatha
RAG, Community Service & Dialogue: Mr Njabulo Mabaso
Religious Affairs: Mr Mfundo Nxumalo
Residence & Catering Affairs: Ms Ntombifuthi Radebe
Sports Council: Mr Luvuno

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