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28 October 2021 | Story Lucy Sehloho | Photo Supplied
Lucy Sehloho, Head of the UFS Arts and Culture Office.

It has been a journey filled with mountains, valleys, rivers, and seas.

Growing up a top achiever, I thought life would be smooth sailing, but like most of us, my first rude awakening came when I lost my mother in 2010. I had to learn to rely on myself and others to keep my head above water. I ask for help when I need it, so I use the services of professionals from time to time.
 
One of the most valuable tools I use, is my gift of singing. I call it my cup filler. I have songs for every mood. I have playlists of songs that I sing along to, pieces that help me balance.
   
I have learnt over the years that I need fuel just like a car needs energy. Moreover, a vehicle needs more than just fuel to function efficiently. I apply the same metaphor to my mental well-being. Besides music, I fuel myself up by doing good to others. 

I love spending time with my dogs, and they know how to make me smile without saying much. I have recently started reflective journaling, and I find it very useful to interrogate thoughts that are not healthy for me. Overall, I remind myself that I am not perfect, and that life is about balance. 

When the scale starts tipping to the one side, life will always calibrate itself into balance, and sometimes those calibration moments are when I feel stressed and overwhelmed. Mine is not to go into panic mode, but to work with life towards achieving that balance again. Over the years, I have noted that this process is a never-ending one.

News Archive

Eugene de Kock, FW de Klerk and forgiveness – Prof Gobodo-Madikizela’s take on gestures of reconciliation
2015-02-06

What Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies at the University of the Free State, found over the years talking to Eugene de Kock, was a man tortured by his past. By the deeds he has committed.

“As a result he was confronting these – not as a cog in a machine – but as a person who actually did the deed himself,” Prof Gobodo-Madikizela said during an interview [https://soundcloud.com/primediabroadcasting/dr-gobodo-on-de-kock-parole] with Pippa Hudson on Cape Talk. A man taking personal responsibility.

Against the backdrop of De Kock recently granted parole, what, then, is the nature of forgiveness?

“Often people think when they forgive, you forgive and forget. That’s not the point,” Prof Gobodo-Madikizela says. “Forgiving, in fact, I found is the wrong word. We are using forgiveness for a range of responses. What I find useful in this kind of work is to think about how people change, how people are transformed. In other words, to think about our empathic connection to people who are our former enemies.” In other words: to reach a place where both parties can see each other as fellow human beings. “Somehow when a person expresses remorse – in the way Eugene de Kock has done – it opens a door for the different kinds of relationships to that traumatic past,” Prof Gobodo-Madikizela says.

In an article for the Sunday Times, Prof Gobodo-Madikizela refers to the motion to immortalise F W de Klerk by renaming Table Bay Boulevard after him. In this piece, she clearly points out that De Klerk is not without blood on his hands. She agrees with Mayor Patricia de Lille’s support of this tribute to De Klerk, though, when De Lille refers to ‘the spirit of reconciliation that Tata Madiba believed in’.

Justice Minister Michael Masutha – who granted De Kock parole – and De Lille “are right in evoking the memory of Nelson Mandela through these important gestures of reconciliation,” Prof Gobodo-Madikizela remarks. The need to return to Nelson Mandela’s vision, she adds, remains urgent.

Read Prof Gobodo-Madikizela’s full article, published in the Sunday Times, here.
For Prof Gobodo-Madikizela’s response to Eugene de Kock, FW de Klerk and reconciliation, read here.

 

For more information or enquiries contact news@ufs.ac.za

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