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28 October 2021 | Story Lucy Sehloho | Photo Supplied
Lucy Sehloho, Head of the UFS Arts and Culture Office.

It has been a journey filled with mountains, valleys, rivers, and seas.

Growing up a top achiever, I thought life would be smooth sailing, but like most of us, my first rude awakening came when I lost my mother in 2010. I had to learn to rely on myself and others to keep my head above water. I ask for help when I need it, so I use the services of professionals from time to time.
 
One of the most valuable tools I use, is my gift of singing. I call it my cup filler. I have songs for every mood. I have playlists of songs that I sing along to, pieces that help me balance.
   
I have learnt over the years that I need fuel just like a car needs energy. Moreover, a vehicle needs more than just fuel to function efficiently. I apply the same metaphor to my mental well-being. Besides music, I fuel myself up by doing good to others. 

I love spending time with my dogs, and they know how to make me smile without saying much. I have recently started reflective journaling, and I find it very useful to interrogate thoughts that are not healthy for me. Overall, I remind myself that I am not perfect, and that life is about balance. 

When the scale starts tipping to the one side, life will always calibrate itself into balance, and sometimes those calibration moments are when I feel stressed and overwhelmed. Mine is not to go into panic mode, but to work with life towards achieving that balance again. Over the years, I have noted that this process is a never-ending one.

News Archive

Prof Antjie Krog speaks on verbalising revulsion and the collusion of men
2015-06-26

From the left are Prof Lucius Botes, UFS: Dean of the Faculty of the Humanities; Prof Helene Strauss, UFS: Department of English; Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, UFS: Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies; Prof Antjie Krog, UCT: Department Afrikaans and Dutch; Dr Buhle Zuma, UCT: Department of Psychology. Both Prof Strauss and Dr Zuma are partners in the Mellon Foundation research project.

“This is one of the bitterest moments I have ever endured. I would rather see my daughter carried away as a corpse than see her raped like this.”

This is one of 32 testimonies that were locked away quietly in 1902. These documents, part of the NC Havenga collection, contain the testimonies of Afrikaner women describing their experiences of sexual assault and rape at the hands of British soldiers during the South African War.

This cluster of affidavits formed the foundation of a public lecture that Prof Antjie Krog delivered at the University of the Free State’s (UFS) Bloemfontein Campus on Tuesday 23 June 2015. The lecture, entitled ‘They Couldn’t Achieve their Goal with Me: Narrating Rape during the South African War’, was the third instalment in the Vice-Chancellor’s Lecture Series on Trauma, Memory, and Representations of the Past. The series is hosted by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies at the UFS, as part of a five-year research project funded by the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation.

Verbalising revulsion

The testimonies were taken down during the last two months of the war, and “some of the women still had marks and bruises on their bodies as evidence,” Prof Krog said. The victims’ words, on the other hand, struggled to express the story their bodies told.

What are the nouns for that which one sees? What words are permissible in front of men? How does one process revulsion verbally? These are the barriers the victims – raised with Victorian reserve – faced while trying to express their trauma, Prof Krog explained.

The collusion of men

When the war ended, there was a massive drive to reconcile the Boers and the British. “Within this process of letting bygones be bygones,” Prof Krog said, “affidavits of severe violations by white men had no place. Through the collusion of men, prioritising reconciliation between two white male hierarchies, these affidavits were shelved, and, finally, had to suffer an embargo.”

“It is only when South Africa accepted a constitution based on equality and safety from violence,” Prof Krog said, “that the various levels of deeply-rooted brutality, violence, and devastation of men against the vulnerable in society seemed to burst like an evil boil into the open, leaving South African aghast in its toxic suppurations. As if, for many decades, we did not know it was there and multiplied.”

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