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28 October 2021 | Story Lucy Sehloho | Photo Supplied
Lucy Sehloho, Head of the UFS Arts and Culture Office.

It has been a journey filled with mountains, valleys, rivers, and seas.

Growing up a top achiever, I thought life would be smooth sailing, but like most of us, my first rude awakening came when I lost my mother in 2010. I had to learn to rely on myself and others to keep my head above water. I ask for help when I need it, so I use the services of professionals from time to time.
 
One of the most valuable tools I use, is my gift of singing. I call it my cup filler. I have songs for every mood. I have playlists of songs that I sing along to, pieces that help me balance.
   
I have learnt over the years that I need fuel just like a car needs energy. Moreover, a vehicle needs more than just fuel to function efficiently. I apply the same metaphor to my mental well-being. Besides music, I fuel myself up by doing good to others. 

I love spending time with my dogs, and they know how to make me smile without saying much. I have recently started reflective journaling, and I find it very useful to interrogate thoughts that are not healthy for me. Overall, I remind myself that I am not perfect, and that life is about balance. 

When the scale starts tipping to the one side, life will always calibrate itself into balance, and sometimes those calibration moments are when I feel stressed and overwhelmed. Mine is not to go into panic mode, but to work with life towards achieving that balance again. Over the years, I have noted that this process is a never-ending one.

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Conversations of the untold tales of apartheid
2016-08-30

Description: Conversations of the untold tales of apartheid Tags: Conversations of the untold tales of apartheid

Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela leading a dialogue
held at the Johannes Stegmann Art Gallery with
guest speakers, Candice Mama, Siyah Mgoduka,
and Sue Williamson.

Photo: Johan Roux

The Vice-Chancellor’s Lecture Series on Trauma, Memory and Representations of the Past in  the Unit for Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies at the University of the Free State (UFS) hosted a dialogue between students and guest speakers, Sue Williamson, Candice Mama, and Siyah Mgoduka at the Johannes Stegmann Art Gallery on the Bloemfontein campus.

The conversation, led by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies at the UFS, touched on students’ direct historical trauma and memory experiences, allowing them to share their contribution to transformation.

Mama and Mgoduka shared their personal experience of how the negative impact apartheid’s fatal events consumed their everyday life. Both their fathers were killed by the apartheid assassin, Eugene de Kock, whom they have met and with whom they have since been reconciled.  Reflecting on this historical memory, both of them agree that meeting their fathers’ killer has changed their lives.

“Forgiveness is a personal journey one
takes in order to let go of bitterness and hate.” 

“Before meeting De Kock, I was bitter, angry, and full of hatred towards him. After that meeting, I became a better person and more engaged, and stopped stereotyping white people,” says Mama.

Mgoduka says, “Forgiveness alone will not work. There needs to be an interest in each other as black and white.”

The dialogue followed the launch of Williamson’s art exhibition, No More Fairytales, held at the Johannes Stegmann Gallery on 18 August 2016. Through a series of interactive pieces, the artwork captures events that led to the role of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC).

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