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25 July 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli

From an early age, many have been taught that strangers are not only a danger to the individual, but to the communities too.

A StrangerKind (ASK), an organisation hosting unconventional conversations in communities on topics and responding to questions that many may not have the opportunity to ask, has partnered with the University of the Free State to host the talks that aims to promote curiosity, diversity, and social cohesion.

As part of the ASKcampus – a first to be hosted at any university in the country – participants will have an opportunity to talk to a stranger in a safe setting and ask any question that comes to mind, without any judgement.

Michelle Nöthling, Assistant Researcher in Kovsie Support Services, said: “The ASK event is an opportunity for participants to pick a topic from a list that sparks curiosity and book an available 45-minute time slot. During your session, you sit down to a one-on-one conversation with a stranger who will briefly introduce themselves and their topic. They will then share their personal life experience on that topic with you.”

The event, which will be launched at the Thakaneng Bridge, Bloemfontein Campus, on 28 July 2022, is open to both UFS staff and students.

“During the individual sessions, participants may ask the strangers anything about the chosen topic. We even encourage you to ask those questions that you might otherwise have been too shy, or felt were too ignorant, to ask. What is more, is that the strangers you will meet will be fellow UFS staff and students. But you will not know who your stranger is until you sit down with them,” said Michelle.

Individuals who want to know more about becoming a UFS stranger are encouraged to visit the organisation’s YouTube channel or register to attend training and become a ‘stranger’.

Be curious. Be brave. Talk to strangers.

Launch details:
Date
: 28 July 2022
Time
: 10:00-14:00
Venue
: Thakaneng Bridge, Bloemfontein Campus

News Archive

#Women’sMonth: Who am I? Questions of identity among Rwandan rape survivors
2017-08-03

 Description: Michelle Nöthling, Questions of identity among Rwandan rape survivors Tags: Michelle Nöthling, Questions of identity among Rwandan rape survivors 

Michelle Nöthling, master’s degree student
in the Centre for Trauma, Forgiveness, and
Reconciliation Studies at the UFS.
Photo: Eugene Seegers

From 7 April to 15 July 1994, a mass genocide swept through Rwanda after years of Belgian colonial rule that divided the country along ethnic lines. Rape was also used as part of a political strategy to torture and humiliate mainly Tutsi women, and as a means of spreading HIV.

Individual focus
Why is it important to listen to what these rape survivors have to say? Michelle Nöthling, a master’s student in the UFS Centre for Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies, responds, “We speak of groups – refugees, foreigners, and the like – yet we tend to forget the individuals and the lasting impact trauma has had on each person.”

Narrative exploration
Michelle maintains that we are the product of the narratives around us; things like – how to be a woman, how to dress, speak, or treat others. Her research delves into how these rape survivors see themselves, how they narrate their lives. She also investigates power relations based on gender; for example, how language can be used as a divisive tool.

Rwandan backdrop
In Rwanda, gender roles are deeply entrenched. Traditionally, a ‘girl’ remains such while she is a virgin. Her transition into womanhood is usually marked by marriage and followed by motherhood. But rape disrupts this structure, leading to an identity crisis as these girls are catapulted into motherhood with an unplanned child resulting from a traumatic event.

“We are the product of
the narratives around us.”

Reaching their mid-teens, the children, too, started asking questions about identity or paternity. For those mothers who were finally able to open up to their children, the experience has been mostly liberating – often leading to a closer relationship between parent and child. Michelle intends to interrogate how such significant moments shape the way these women perceive themselves. Research tends to portray these survivors solely as mothers of rape-born children. Michelle, however, seeks to examine their identities more deeply.

“These survivors still bear the heavy burden of being marginalised, stigmatised, and severely humiliated. Despite this, they have developed their own communities of belonging; people with whom they connect, to whom they relate, and to whom they are not ashamed to tell their experiences,” she said.

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