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25 July 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli

From an early age, many have been taught that strangers are not only a danger to the individual, but to the communities too.

A StrangerKind (ASK), an organisation hosting unconventional conversations in communities on topics and responding to questions that many may not have the opportunity to ask, has partnered with the University of the Free State to host the talks that aims to promote curiosity, diversity, and social cohesion.

As part of the ASKcampus – a first to be hosted at any university in the country – participants will have an opportunity to talk to a stranger in a safe setting and ask any question that comes to mind, without any judgement.

Michelle Nöthling, Assistant Researcher in Kovsie Support Services, said: “The ASK event is an opportunity for participants to pick a topic from a list that sparks curiosity and book an available 45-minute time slot. During your session, you sit down to a one-on-one conversation with a stranger who will briefly introduce themselves and their topic. They will then share their personal life experience on that topic with you.”

The event, which will be launched at the Thakaneng Bridge, Bloemfontein Campus, on 28 July 2022, is open to both UFS staff and students.

“During the individual sessions, participants may ask the strangers anything about the chosen topic. We even encourage you to ask those questions that you might otherwise have been too shy, or felt were too ignorant, to ask. What is more, is that the strangers you will meet will be fellow UFS staff and students. But you will not know who your stranger is until you sit down with them,” said Michelle.

Individuals who want to know more about becoming a UFS stranger are encouraged to visit the organisation’s YouTube channel or register to attend training and become a ‘stranger’.

Be curious. Be brave. Talk to strangers.

Launch details:
Date
: 28 July 2022
Time
: 10:00-14:00
Venue
: Thakaneng Bridge, Bloemfontein Campus

News Archive

“You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance” – Dr Mamphela Ramphele during second Leah Tutu Gender Symposium
2015-02-28

 

From the left are: Samantha van Schalkwyk, Zanele Mbeki, Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela and Dr Mamphela Ramphele.
Photo: Johan Roux

 

Video message from Mrs Leah Tutu

Session 1: Keynote address by Dr Mamphela Ramphele
Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man 

Session 2: Professor Robert Morrell from the University of Cape Town
South African Gender Studies: Setting the context

Session 3: How can we engage young men to act against violence against women?
Panel discussion by Lisa Vetten (Wits Institute for Social and Economic Research), Despina Learmonth (Psychology Department, University of Cape Town) and Wessel van den Berg (Sonke Gender Justice) 

Session 4: Professor Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela
Self-defence as a strategy for women’s resistance: Reflections on the work of Susan Brison
 

Engaging men to act against gender-based violence in the Southern African context.

This was the theme of the second International Leah Tutu Symposium, hosted by the Gender Initiative of Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies of the University of the Free State (UFS) on Tuesday 24 February 2015.

What does it mean to be man? How can men become active in the fight against gender-based violence? And when does one say: enough is enough? Questions like these set the tone as highly-respected individuals such as Dr Mamphela Ramphele, Prof Rob Morrell, Lisa Vetten and Andy Kawa took to the stage in the Odeion on the Bloemfontein Campus.

Leah Tutu
Unfortunately, Mrs Leah Tutu could not attend this year’s event, but she still managed to send sparks of wit and insight into the auditorium. In her video message, Mrs Tutu referred to the fact that our country has “consigned discriminatory legislation to the rubbish bin of the past”, but we continue to inhabit a divided society.

“We have a constitution and bill of rights that should have sounded the death knell for patriarchy. But women are unsafe across the land,” Mrs Tutu said. “Our freedom cost too much to be left out in the rain,” she urged.

Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man
In Dr Ramphele’s keynote address, “Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man”, she scrutinised the dominant masculinity model that has supported an alpha-male mentality for millennia. A mentality that celebrates dominance, power and control – where the winner takes it all. How then, can we expect our young boys to embrace the value system of a human rights culture?

“Gender equality is at the heart of our constitutional democratic values. Yet, our society continues to privilege and celebrate the alpha male as a masculinity model,” Dr Ramphele said. This dissonance can only produce conflict and violence.

We encourage our young men to be gentle, communicative, caring people who show their emotions. And when they do, what do we as women do? Do we encourage them?

“Or do we join those who call them wimps, moffies, sissies? How do we respond when they are ridiculed?” Dr Ramphele asked. Are we, as mothers, fathers and grandparents willing to socialise our children to acknowledge a diversity of masculinities as equally valid in our society?

The new man and the new woman of the 21st century need to be liberated from the conflict-ridden dominant masculinity model. They need to be able to shape their identity in line with a value system of human rights as enshrined in our constitution.

Perhaps Dr Ramphele’s message could be summed up by one sentence: You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance.

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