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23 March 2022 | Story Geraldine Meyers-Mashamba | Photo Supplied
Geraldine Meyers
Geraldine Meyers-Mashamba is Head of Quality Management on the University of the Free State (UFS) South Campus and Treasurer of the UFS Women’s Forum. She is also an endometriosis warrior who now wants to create awareness about this invisible illness.

Opinion article by Mrs Geraldine Meyers-Mashamba, Head of Quality Management (UFS South Campus) and Treasurer of the UFS Women’s Forum.
Endometriosis and/or its accompanying symptoms are perceived by many as an invisible illness; it is often dismissed, misunderstood, and considered exaggerated. Shockingly, very few young people have heard of endometriosis, and what is worse is that millions of women globally suffer from endometriosis, but they are not aware that they have the condition and oftentimes go undiagnosed for many years. 

With March being Endometriosis Awareness Month, I thought it fit to share my experience with peers. Why me, you might ask? Well, I have had endometriosis for the longest of times – stage three endometriosis to be exact – and it has been so much fun (no, I’m lying, it has been absolutely horrific to say the least). 

March is national Endometriosis Awareness Month, and perhaps sharing my most intimate and untold story will create awareness around this chronic disease. So, let’s talk about it. What is this ‘endometriosis’ I’m talking about?

Endometriosis defined

Endometriosis is identified as the second most common gynaecological condition, affecting one in ten females. It is classified as a chronic inflammatory disease in which the lining of the uterus, also known as the endometrium, grows in places where it really shouldn’t. You can read more about the common symptoms of endometriosis at here.

Allow me to take you through my experiences.

The meaning of life with endometriosis

Endometriosis impacts all facets of one’s life. It isn’t just a bad period; it can literally ‘blow up’ your life, causing psychological distress, physical pain, financial constraints, and it has a devastating impact on a woman’s education, professional and personal relationships, and quality of life as a whole. 

What often makes me furious, is that there has been and still is this societal acceptance that having agonising, painful periods are merely part of having a uterus, and that it is totally normal to experience so much pain, which interferes with your daily activities. It is absolutely ludicrous, but unfortunately this myth is very pervasive. 

From a very young age, I normalised the chronic pelvic pain and heavy menstrual flow I was enduring, mainly because I was not taught any different. We have been taught that heavy and painful periods are just a ‘normal part’ of growing up and being female. None of my friends had the same complaints and experience that I had, and some teachers thought that I overexaggerated the horrifically intense pain and discomfort I was feeling. In addition to the heavy period, intense back pain, headaches, and fatigue, I also constantly suffered from constipation and even iron deficiency as a result of the heavy menstrual flow. Not surprisingly, donating blood was not considered an option, as I did not have enough blood to donate. 

For more than 10 years, I was sent from pillar to post, one specialist to the next, each time with a different diagnosis and some prescribing various oral contraceptives for my ‘hormonal imbalances’. Thinking about it now, I bet you cannot name an oral contraceptive that I have not used before. After years of contraceptive use, I started getting anxious, thinking and wondering – with all these contraceptives I have consumed over the years, will I even be able to conceive one day? 

In the year 2020, I refused to continue taking oral contraceptives because of the severe side effects it had on my body. My GP referred me to a gynaecologist, who then diagnosed me with stage three endometriosis. Although a scary discovery at the time, I cannot describe how pleased I was to finally put a name to the illness that paralysed and haunted me most of my life. I felt vindicated!!!

Endometriosis is not experienced in the same way by all women, but personally it impacted me in the following ways:
Physical impact

I would experience chronic pelvic pain coupled with a heavy menstrual flow and back pains that would numb my legs, which at times only left me with about 12 pain-free days in a month (and that was only if I was lucky). The physical pain was ten times that of a normal period and left me weak and tired more times than I can count.

The fatigue was terrible, yet I struggled to sleep at night, and waking up in the morning was a mission. I usually told people that I have insomnia when I looked a bit too tired. And I painfully convinced myself that I had a very high pain threshold, which brings me to the psychological impact that endometriosis has had on my life. 

Psychological and emotional impact 

Before I could put a name to the pain, I used to think that perhaps I am being over-dramatic, perhaps I am even imagining the painful symptoms I have been experiencing; imagine trying to convince yourself that what you are feeling is not really what you are feeling! I constantly questioned myself, and kept wondering – am I normal? Having this chronic disease is emotionally vexing, and in all honesty, I still have days where I find myself hiding my pain and tears behind my smile. 

Endometriosis and its impact on relationships
It is not easy to explain to your partner, friends, and family why you are unable to sit through a social event or gathering when you have a sudden endometriosis flare-up. 

What is even worse and more humiliating, is having to sit your partner down in the initiation phase of your relationship to explain the intricacies of menstrual health, in addition to making them understand that your situation is a bit unique and requires a bit more understanding. It is absolutely nerve-wracking – for some it could mean the loss of a romantic relationship, and for others the establishment of a deeper sense of connection. 

Being the empath that I am, I constantly worry about whether or not my condition is overburdening my loved ones. For this reason, I keep quiet about my pain, I do not mention my suffering, and I hide any tears or discomfort behind a smile. Which is wrong, especially considering the amazing support system I have in place. My family and friends offered me strength when I did not have any, and I am ever grateful for the support they provide.

Financial impact of endometriosis

One cannot talk about the meaning of life with endometriosis and not mention the financial impact that endometriosis can have on your life. Going undiagnosed for many years and going through various specialists to pinpoint the illness, cost my family a fortune. And when the medical aid savings run out, one has no choice but to dig deep into your pockets. The sad reality is that endometriosis is an expensive beast that one has to continue feeding. 

Essentially, endometriosis has decreased my quality of life and overall well-being. But I have managed to lead a semi-normal life with my condition by having a lot of faith and making use of basic self-management solutions, such as the use of the Mirena, which is a hormonal intrauterine device (IUD), taking hot baths to ease the pain, and using heated pads and painkillers.

And although the endometriosis will never be fully gone – since it is incurable – I have learned to live with it.

Take-home message

Endometriosis sufferers do not want your pity; they just need your understanding and compassion. The pain we experience is at times almost the same as having your internal organs wrapped in barbed wire. Can you imagine that? Currently, society and most front-line healthcare providers in many countries are not aware that distressing and life-altering pelvic pain is not normal; this leads to the normalisation and stigmatisation of symptoms and a significant delay in the diagnosis of endometriosis.

As a woman who has lived with this chronic disease – acknowledge the disease, continue to create awareness, and display empathy the next time a colleague, family member, friend, or stranger ‘complains’ about menstrual health-related issues. What appears to be ‘normal’ may just be another overlooked, dismissed, or misunderstood case of endometriosis. 

To all the endometriosis warriors, hopefully my intimate and now told story will create awareness. I urge you to keep fighting; your strength will become contagious, your stories will become inspiring, and your will to go on – even when your body is working against you – will make you victorious. Endometriosis does not define you!

News Archive

Media: Sunday Times
2006-05-20

Sunday Times, 4 June 2006

True leadership may mean admitting disunity
 

In this edited extract from the inaugural King Moshoeshoe Memorial Lecture at the University of the Free State, Professor Njabulo S Ndebele explores the leadership challenges facing South Africa

RECENT events have created a sense that we are undergoing a serious crisis of leadership in our new democracy. An increasing number of highly intelligent, sensitive and committed South Africans, across class, racial and cultural spectrums, confess to feeling uncertain and vulnerable as never before since 1994.

When indomitable optimists confess to having a sense of things unhinging, the misery of anxiety spreads. We have the sense that events are spiralling out of control and that no one among the leadership of the country seems to have a definitive handle on things.

There can be nothing more debilitating than a generalised and undefined sense of anxiety in the body politic. It breeds conspiracies and fear.

There is an impression that a very complex society has developed, in the last few years, a rather simple, centralised governance mechanism in the hope that delivery can be better and more quickly driven. The complexity of governance then gets located within a single structure of authority rather than in the devolved structures envisaged in the Constitution, which should interact with one another continuously, and in response to their specific settings, to achieve defined goals. Collapse in a single structure of authority, because there is no robust backup, can be catastrophic.

The autonomy of devolved structures presents itself as an impediment only when visionary cohesion collapses. Where such cohesion is strong, the impediment is only illusory, particularly when it encourages healthy competition, for example, among the provinces, or where a province develops a character that is not necessarily autonomous politically but rather distinctive and a special source of regional pride. Such competition brings vibrancy to the country. It does not necessarily challenge the centre.

Devolved autonomy is vital in the interests of sustainable governance. The failure of various structures to actualise their constitutionally defined roles should not be attributed to the failure of the prescribed governance mechanism. It is too early to say that what we have has not worked. The only viable corrective will be in our ability to be robust in identifying the problems and dealing with them concertedly.

We have never had social cohesion in South Africa — certainly not since the Natives’ Land Act of 1913. What we definitely have had over the decades is a mobilising vision. Could it be that the mobilising vision, mistaken for social cohesion, is cracking under the weight of the reality and extent of social reconstruction, and that the legitimate framework for debating these problems is collapsing? If that is so, are we witnessing a cumulative failure of leadership?

I am making a descriptive rather than an evaluative inquiry. I do not believe that there is any single entity to be blamed. It is simply that we may be a country in search of another line of approach. What will it be?

I would like to suggest two avenues of approach — an inclusive model and a counter-intuitive model of leadership.

In an inclusive approach, leadership is exercised not only by those who have been put in some position of power to steer an organisation or institution. Leadership is what all of us do when we express, sincerely, our deepest feelings and thoughts; when we do our work, whatever it is, with passion and integrity.

Counter-intuitive leadership lies in the ability of leaders to read a problematic situation, assess probable outcomes and then recognise that those outcomes will only compound the problem. Genuine leadership, in this sense, requires going against probability in seeking unexpected outcomes. That’s what happened when we avoided a civil war and ended up with an “unexpected” democracy.

Right now, we may very well hear desperate calls for unity, when the counter-intuitive imperative would be to acknowledge disunity. A declaration of unity where it manifestly does not appear to exist will fail to reassure.

Many within the “broad alliance” might have the view that the mobilising vision of old may have transformed into a strategy of executive steering with a disposition towards an expectation of compliance. No matter how compelling the reasons for that tendency, it may be seen as part of a cumulative process in which popular notions of democratic governance are apparently undermined and devalued; and where public uncertainty in the midst of seeming crisis induces fear which could freeze public thinking at a time when more voices ought to be heard.

Could it be that part of the problem is that we are unable to deal with the notion of opposition? We are horrified that any of us could be seen to have become “the opposition”. The word has been demonised. In reality, it is time we began to anticipate the arrival of a moment when there is no longer a single, overwhelmingly dominant political force as is currently the case. Such is the course of history. The measure of the maturity of the current political environment will be in how it can create conditions that anticipate that moment rather than seek to prevent it. We see here once more the essential creativity of the counter-intuitive imperative.

This is the formidable challenge of a popular post-apartheid political movement. Can it conceptually anticipate a future when it is no longer overwhelmingly in control, in the form in which it is currently, and resist, counter-intuitively, the temptation to prevent such an eventuality? Successfully resisting such an option would enable its current vision and its ultimate legacy to our country to manifest in different articulations, which then contend for social influence. In this way, the vision never really dies; it simply evolves into higher, more complex forms of itself. Consider the metaphor of flying ants replicating the ant community by establishing new ones.

We may certainly experience the meaning of comradeship differently, where we will now have “comrades on the other side”.

Any political movement that imagines itself as a perpetual entity should look at the compelling evidence of history. Few movements have survived those defining moments when they should have been more elastic, and that because they were not, did not live to see the next day.

I believe we may have reached a moment not fundamentally different from the sobering, yet uplifting and vision-making, nation-building realities that led to Kempton Park in the early ’90s. The difference between then and now is that the black majority is not facing white compatriots across the negotiating table. Rather, it is facing itself: perhaps really for the first time since 1994. Could we apply to ourselves the same degree of inventiveness and rigorous negotiation we displayed leading up to the adoption or our Constitution?

This is not a time for repeating old platitudes. It is the time, once more, for vision.

In the total scheme of things, the outcome could be as disastrous as it could be formative and uplifting, setting in place the conditions for a true renaissance that could be sustained for generations to come.

Ndebele is Vice-Chancellor of the University of Cape Town and author of the novel The Cry of Winnie Mandela

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