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Melissa de Aveiro inspires UFS with journey about rising from the ashes

31 May 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli | Photo Supplied

Singer, writer, and motivational speaker, Melissa de Aveiro, says: “One can only rise from the ashes when the fire starts again, and the beauty of it all is that the ashes is stuck to your clothes. As you move on, you build off it as it falls from your clothes.”

She said: “When the fire starts in you, nothing is going to stop it.”

This she said at the Division of Organisational Development and Employee Well-being’s Rising from the Ashes event held at the Centenary Complex on the Bloemfontein Campus. Melissa’s story is about never giving up and “never backing down – even when people throw you with rocks, use the rocks to build a new road”.

Melissa said: “Many people unfortunately do not rise from the ashes because there is no support from friends, people. You can never do it alone as the journey through the ashes is lonely.”

Melissa believes to get through the ashes, one has to go back and “remind yourself of when it was good in your life, remind yourself about the positive things – even though things might not be great now”.

Known as the 'Weskus Dutchess', and growing up in Vredendal, Western Cape, Melissa’s tough life, sexual abuse, drug abuse, homelessness, and the death of her son never stopped her from dreaming. All the setbacks planted in her a “passion for a guitar and people, a birth of a new season, a desire to change the world”.

To rise from the ashes, Melissa said, “You need to go back to the place where you were hurting, confront the demons, the people that abused you, maybe forgive them and remove the chains you are tied with.”

Susan van Jaarsveld, Senior Director: Human Resources at the University of the Free State, believes that hosting wellness events is a way for the UFS to show that “employees are the most valuable asset of the university and need to be looked after”.

Susan said: “Staff need to know that it is okay not to be okay. However, the UFS has systems to look after your well-being. People need to know that they are not alone, they can make use of the Department of Human Resources’ Careways Employee Wellness Programme.”

Susan believes it was important to host the event, as “staff need face-to-face interaction for their well-being, it helps people to know they are not alone”.

Melissa, the author of the book Weskus Wonderwerk, believes in being unstoppable. She said: “To rise from the trenches, always think positive about yourself, you must exist. You cannot give up; your worth cannot be determined by an individual.”

News Archive

UFS can lead SA in race relations - Ramphele

2010-08-06

Pictured are: Dr Boesak and Dr Ramphele
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

The University of the Free State (UFS) could well be a perfect model of excellence in race relations that the whole of South Africa could emulate.

This was said by Dr Mamphela Ramphele, the first African to be a Managing Director of the World Bank, during the Anti-Racism Network in Higher Education (ARNHE) Colloquium held at the UFS recently.

“Healing circles need to be constructed on this campus to address issues raised by the Reitz incident,” she said.

“You might yet be the pioneer of what needs to happen on a nation-wide level.

“Can we confidently commit today to go on this quest for a true humanity and walk together as fellow citizens and strive for a more human face for our society? That is our challenge. That is what the UFS is called to give leadership to.”

“It is this human face which has the power to liberate us from the body of death and strengthen us in our struggle for meaningful life together in South Africa,” added one of the main speakers, Dr Allan Boesak, a cleric and former anti-apartheid activist.

However, said Dr Ramphele, this could only be achieved if all South Africans, black and white, abandoned the fear for each other that was hindering, if not stalling, progress in this regard.

“Fear of each other is the most important impediment to the sustainability of our journey into a society united in our diversity,” she said.

“People in this country are afraid to stand up and be counted, including many vice-chancellors and clerics. They are afraid of being seen to be difficult, and that is a major problem. Fear is the most destructive emotion that you can have because it makes you really incompetent and unable to respond to challenges.”

She said the biggest impediment, though, to ending racism was denial. “White people deny vehemently that they are or have ever been racist,” she said.

“We need to go through a process of acknowledging our wounds and scars from our racist past and present missteps in public policy.”

“Instead of saying they are sorry, those who are conscious of their whiteness should rather say what they are sorry for,” said another main speaker, Prof. Dennis Francis, the Dean of the Faculty of Education at the UFS.

On the other hand, according to Dr Boesak, blacks were and still are, to a large extent, also to blame for their own ongoing oppression. “The key here was the acknowledgement of our sheepish timidity, our complicity,” he said.

The Chairperson of ARNHE, Prof. Norman Duncan, had this to say: “If we are to confront and eradicate racism in higher education institutions, we should not do so to create comfort zones for ourselves.”

The theme of this ARNHE Colloquium was Black consciousness and those conscious of their whiteness. It was presented by the International Institute for Studies in Race, Reconciliation and Social Justice at the UFS.

Media Release:
Mangaliso Radebe
Assistant Director: Media Liaison
Tel: 051 401 2828
Cell: 078 460 3320
E-mail: radebemt@ufs.ac.za
6 August 2010

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