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31 May 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli | Photo Supplied
Melissa De Aveiro

Singer, writer, and motivational speaker, Melissa de Aveiro, says: “One can only rise from the ashes when the fire starts again, and the beauty of it all is that the ashes is stuck to your clothes. As you move on, you build off it as it falls from your clothes.”

She said: “When the fire starts in you, nothing is going to stop it.”

This she said at the Division of Organisational Development and Employee Well-being’s Rising from the Ashes event held at the Centenary Complex on the Bloemfontein Campus. Melissa’s story is about never giving up and “never backing down – even when people throw you with rocks, use the rocks to build a new road”.

Melissa said: “Many people unfortunately do not rise from the ashes because there is no support from friends, people. You can never do it alone as the journey through the ashes is lonely.”

Melissa believes to get through the ashes, one has to go back and “remind yourself of when it was good in your life, remind yourself about the positive things – even though things might not be great now”.

Known as the 'Weskus Dutchess', and growing up in Vredendal, Western Cape, Melissa’s tough life, sexual abuse, drug abuse, homelessness, and the death of her son never stopped her from dreaming. All the setbacks planted in her a “passion for a guitar and people, a birth of a new season, a desire to change the world”.

To rise from the ashes, Melissa said, “You need to go back to the place where you were hurting, confront the demons, the people that abused you, maybe forgive them and remove the chains you are tied with.”

Susan van Jaarsveld, Senior Director: Human Resources at the University of the Free State, believes that hosting wellness events is a way for the UFS to show that “employees are the most valuable asset of the university and need to be looked after”.

Susan said: “Staff need to know that it is okay not to be okay. However, the UFS has systems to look after your well-being. People need to know that they are not alone, they can make use of the Department of Human Resources’ Careways Employee Wellness Programme.”

Susan believes it was important to host the event, as “staff need face-to-face interaction for their well-being, it helps people to know they are not alone”.

Melissa, the author of the book Weskus Wonderwerk, believes in being unstoppable. She said: “To rise from the trenches, always think positive about yourself, you must exist. You cannot give up; your worth cannot be determined by an individual.” 

News Archive

Community workers, activists and scholars to discuss Gender-based violence
2012-10-03

The Gender Studies Programme and Gender Initiative attached to the Dialogue between Science and Society Series at the University of the Free State is holding a one-day symposium titled African Gender Perspectives on 23 October 2012. Activists, scholars and community-based workers will speak at the symposium about their work in the field of gender and gender-based violence.

Keynote speakers include Cheryl Potgieter (University of KwaZulu-Natal), Bette Dickerson (American University, Washington, D.C) and Jennifer Fish (Old Dominion University, Norfolk, Virginia). Dickerson and Fish will be speaking about their participatory action research with the group Grandmothers Against Poverty and Aids (GAPPA) who are based in Khayelitsha, Cape Town. Fish will also talk about her experience of setting up a gender centre in Rwanda.

The women’s support network Sisters for Sisters from Woodstock, Cape Town will give a presentation on their community work with women from various parts of the African continent that have experienced multiple forms of gender-based violence, and they will expand on their experiences of participating in an academic research project.

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