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31 May 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli | Photo Supplied
Melissa De Aveiro

Singer, writer, and motivational speaker, Melissa de Aveiro, says: “One can only rise from the ashes when the fire starts again, and the beauty of it all is that the ashes is stuck to your clothes. As you move on, you build off it as it falls from your clothes.”

She said: “When the fire starts in you, nothing is going to stop it.”

This she said at the Division of Organisational Development and Employee Well-being’s Rising from the Ashes event held at the Centenary Complex on the Bloemfontein Campus. Melissa’s story is about never giving up and “never backing down – even when people throw you with rocks, use the rocks to build a new road”.

Melissa said: “Many people unfortunately do not rise from the ashes because there is no support from friends, people. You can never do it alone as the journey through the ashes is lonely.”

Melissa believes to get through the ashes, one has to go back and “remind yourself of when it was good in your life, remind yourself about the positive things – even though things might not be great now”.

Known as the 'Weskus Dutchess', and growing up in Vredendal, Western Cape, Melissa’s tough life, sexual abuse, drug abuse, homelessness, and the death of her son never stopped her from dreaming. All the setbacks planted in her a “passion for a guitar and people, a birth of a new season, a desire to change the world”.

To rise from the ashes, Melissa said, “You need to go back to the place where you were hurting, confront the demons, the people that abused you, maybe forgive them and remove the chains you are tied with.”

Susan van Jaarsveld, Senior Director: Human Resources at the University of the Free State, believes that hosting wellness events is a way for the UFS to show that “employees are the most valuable asset of the university and need to be looked after”.

Susan said: “Staff need to know that it is okay not to be okay. However, the UFS has systems to look after your well-being. People need to know that they are not alone, they can make use of the Department of Human Resources’ Careways Employee Wellness Programme.”

Susan believes it was important to host the event, as “staff need face-to-face interaction for their well-being, it helps people to know they are not alone”.

Melissa, the author of the book Weskus Wonderwerk, believes in being unstoppable. She said: “To rise from the trenches, always think positive about yourself, you must exist. You cannot give up; your worth cannot be determined by an individual.” 

News Archive

How are children taught about sexuality?
2014-01-05

 

Prof Dennis Francis
How is sexuality taught at schools? More importantly, why is heteronormativity taught at schools?

These are the questions that drive Prof Dennis Francis, Dean of the Faculty of Eduation, in his research on sexuality education.

His extensive research papers point out how schools promote compulsory heterosexuality and that homosexuality is something to be hidden and kept separate from teaching, learning and daily school life.

Prof Francis’ research dates back to the early 2000s, when he became concerned about the high HIV prevalence and other sexually transmitted diseases among 15-25-year-olds and the dropping age of sexual debut, as well as the increase of sexually active teenagers that are not adequately protecting themselves against undesired pregnancies and disease.

It was in the light of this that he started looking at how messages of sex and sexuality were conveyed to adolescents before becoming sexually active.

From 2006 to 2008, he was awarded a Medical Research Council Grant under the MRC research priority area of HIV/Aids.

In the past three years, he has collaborated with Dr Renee de Palma, a leading international European scholar who has published widely on sexuality education, gender and heteronormativity.

Using a National Research Foundation (NRF) grant, they collected data from 25 sexuality educators across the Free State on the teaching of sexuality education. They have published three articles in peer-reviewed journals, one is in press, one book chapter was published and two are currently under review.

Prof Francis says he is also pursuing a research project in the teaching of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender education in the sexuality education curriculum.

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