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31 May 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli | Photo Supplied
Melissa De Aveiro

Singer, writer, and motivational speaker, Melissa de Aveiro, says: “One can only rise from the ashes when the fire starts again, and the beauty of it all is that the ashes is stuck to your clothes. As you move on, you build off it as it falls from your clothes.”

She said: “When the fire starts in you, nothing is going to stop it.”

This she said at the Division of Organisational Development and Employee Well-being’s Rising from the Ashes event held at the Centenary Complex on the Bloemfontein Campus. Melissa’s story is about never giving up and “never backing down – even when people throw you with rocks, use the rocks to build a new road”.

Melissa said: “Many people unfortunately do not rise from the ashes because there is no support from friends, people. You can never do it alone as the journey through the ashes is lonely.”

Melissa believes to get through the ashes, one has to go back and “remind yourself of when it was good in your life, remind yourself about the positive things – even though things might not be great now”.

Known as the 'Weskus Dutchess', and growing up in Vredendal, Western Cape, Melissa’s tough life, sexual abuse, drug abuse, homelessness, and the death of her son never stopped her from dreaming. All the setbacks planted in her a “passion for a guitar and people, a birth of a new season, a desire to change the world”.

To rise from the ashes, Melissa said, “You need to go back to the place where you were hurting, confront the demons, the people that abused you, maybe forgive them and remove the chains you are tied with.”

Susan van Jaarsveld, Senior Director: Human Resources at the University of the Free State, believes that hosting wellness events is a way for the UFS to show that “employees are the most valuable asset of the university and need to be looked after”.

Susan said: “Staff need to know that it is okay not to be okay. However, the UFS has systems to look after your well-being. People need to know that they are not alone, they can make use of the Department of Human Resources’ Careways Employee Wellness Programme.”

Susan believes it was important to host the event, as “staff need face-to-face interaction for their well-being, it helps people to know they are not alone”.

Melissa, the author of the book Weskus Wonderwerk, believes in being unstoppable. She said: “To rise from the trenches, always think positive about yourself, you must exist. You cannot give up; your worth cannot be determined by an individual.” 

News Archive

Conversations of the untold tales of apartheid
2016-08-30

Description: Conversations of the untold tales of apartheid Tags: Conversations of the untold tales of apartheid

Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela leading a dialogue
held at the Johannes Stegmann Art Gallery with
guest speakers, Candice Mama, Siyah Mgoduka,
and Sue Williamson.

Photo: Johan Roux

The Vice-Chancellor’s Lecture Series on Trauma, Memory and Representations of the Past in  the Unit for Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies at the University of the Free State (UFS) hosted a dialogue between students and guest speakers, Sue Williamson, Candice Mama, and Siyah Mgoduka at the Johannes Stegmann Art Gallery on the Bloemfontein campus.

The conversation, led by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies at the UFS, touched on students’ direct historical trauma and memory experiences, allowing them to share their contribution to transformation.

Mama and Mgoduka shared their personal experience of how the negative impact apartheid’s fatal events consumed their everyday life. Both their fathers were killed by the apartheid assassin, Eugene de Kock, whom they have met and with whom they have since been reconciled.  Reflecting on this historical memory, both of them agree that meeting their fathers’ killer has changed their lives.

“Forgiveness is a personal journey one
takes in order to let go of bitterness and hate.” 

“Before meeting De Kock, I was bitter, angry, and full of hatred towards him. After that meeting, I became a better person and more engaged, and stopped stereotyping white people,” says Mama.

Mgoduka says, “Forgiveness alone will not work. There needs to be an interest in each other as black and white.”

The dialogue followed the launch of Williamson’s art exhibition, No More Fairytales, held at the Johannes Stegmann Gallery on 18 August 2016. Through a series of interactive pieces, the artwork captures events that led to the role of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC).

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