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31 May 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli | Photo Supplied
Melissa De Aveiro

Singer, writer, and motivational speaker, Melissa de Aveiro, says: “One can only rise from the ashes when the fire starts again, and the beauty of it all is that the ashes is stuck to your clothes. As you move on, you build off it as it falls from your clothes.”

She said: “When the fire starts in you, nothing is going to stop it.”

This she said at the Division of Organisational Development and Employee Well-being’s Rising from the Ashes event held at the Centenary Complex on the Bloemfontein Campus. Melissa’s story is about never giving up and “never backing down – even when people throw you with rocks, use the rocks to build a new road”.

Melissa said: “Many people unfortunately do not rise from the ashes because there is no support from friends, people. You can never do it alone as the journey through the ashes is lonely.”

Melissa believes to get through the ashes, one has to go back and “remind yourself of when it was good in your life, remind yourself about the positive things – even though things might not be great now”.

Known as the 'Weskus Dutchess', and growing up in Vredendal, Western Cape, Melissa’s tough life, sexual abuse, drug abuse, homelessness, and the death of her son never stopped her from dreaming. All the setbacks planted in her a “passion for a guitar and people, a birth of a new season, a desire to change the world”.

To rise from the ashes, Melissa said, “You need to go back to the place where you were hurting, confront the demons, the people that abused you, maybe forgive them and remove the chains you are tied with.”

Susan van Jaarsveld, Senior Director: Human Resources at the University of the Free State, believes that hosting wellness events is a way for the UFS to show that “employees are the most valuable asset of the university and need to be looked after”.

Susan said: “Staff need to know that it is okay not to be okay. However, the UFS has systems to look after your well-being. People need to know that they are not alone, they can make use of the Department of Human Resources’ Careways Employee Wellness Programme.”

Susan believes it was important to host the event, as “staff need face-to-face interaction for their well-being, it helps people to know they are not alone”.

Melissa, the author of the book Weskus Wonderwerk, believes in being unstoppable. She said: “To rise from the trenches, always think positive about yourself, you must exist. You cannot give up; your worth cannot be determined by an individual.” 

News Archive

Doll parent project exposes learners to real-life issues of responsible reproductive health
2016-11-01

Description: Doll parent project  Tags: Doll parent project

Princess Gaboilelwe Motshabi,
Princess Gabo Foundation, Maki Lesia,
School of Nursing, Zenzele Mdletshe,
Internationalisation office, Masters of
Education students from Rutgers University
and study leader.


With the alarming rate of teenage pregnancies in secondary schools, a concerned teacher approached University of the Free State (UFS) School of Nursing in 2013, and in 2015, the Reproductive Health Education Project (RRHEP) was established in collaboration with fourth-year Midwifery students, the Princess Gabo Foundation and the UFS Community Engagement Directorate.

Empowering learners to make responsible reproductive health choices was the primary objective, which got final-year nursing students involved in the Doll-Parenting Project as part of their Service Learning Module. To simulate parenting, boys and girls in Grade Eight were given dolls to take care of as their “baby” for a given period of time. After an information session with parents and guardians, the project took off at Moroka High School in Thaba Nchu and Lekhulong High School in Mangaung. The Princess Gabo Foundation, an NGO operating in the Thaba Nchu community, which supports maternal health programmes, provided the dolls, kangaroo wraps, and diaries in which learners recorded their daily experiences of caring for a baby.

Teen parenting – a challenging experience

Learners were required to calculate how much it would cost to care for a baby, the cost of buying nappies, formula milk (if not breast feeding), doctor’s visits, and medicine. The project was supported by teachers in various subject classes, and learners were encouraged to express themselves through writing of poems or essays about how it feels to be a teen parent.

Dr Delene Botha, lecturer at the School of Nursing, said there was a need to establish a sustainable research project that would attract funding. By adding some of the missing components and drawing on other disciplines such as Sociology and Psychiatry, the project was expected to be extended to meet the needs of other stakeholders including teachers, parents and the community at large.

With cellphones and data provided by the Community Engagement office, the “parenting practice” involved receiving SMS messages from nursing students during odd times of the day to remind them about the needs of the baby; such as wet nappies, the “baby” not feeling well and to be soothed.

Sensitising learners yields success

In evaluating their performance, appointed “police learners” became the eyes and ears of the community to observe and report on how “parents” treated their “babies”. Statements from participants and feedback showed Incidences of negligence and the feeling of embarrassment from being a teen parent. The report indicated that learners felt that having a baby while still at school was not a good idea. The project concluded with a debate on the subject.

As part of the programme, a group of postgraduate Education students from Rutgers University in the US, visited Chief Moroka High School and received first-hand information from their interaction with the learners from which they created digital stories of their Community Engagement experience and took these back with them.

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