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31 May 2022 | Story Lunga Luthuli | Photo Supplied
Melissa De Aveiro

Singer, writer, and motivational speaker, Melissa de Aveiro, says: “One can only rise from the ashes when the fire starts again, and the beauty of it all is that the ashes is stuck to your clothes. As you move on, you build off it as it falls from your clothes.”

She said: “When the fire starts in you, nothing is going to stop it.”

This she said at the Division of Organisational Development and Employee Well-being’s Rising from the Ashes event held at the Centenary Complex on the Bloemfontein Campus. Melissa’s story is about never giving up and “never backing down – even when people throw you with rocks, use the rocks to build a new road”.

Melissa said: “Many people unfortunately do not rise from the ashes because there is no support from friends, people. You can never do it alone as the journey through the ashes is lonely.”

Melissa believes to get through the ashes, one has to go back and “remind yourself of when it was good in your life, remind yourself about the positive things – even though things might not be great now”.

Known as the 'Weskus Dutchess', and growing up in Vredendal, Western Cape, Melissa’s tough life, sexual abuse, drug abuse, homelessness, and the death of her son never stopped her from dreaming. All the setbacks planted in her a “passion for a guitar and people, a birth of a new season, a desire to change the world”.

To rise from the ashes, Melissa said, “You need to go back to the place where you were hurting, confront the demons, the people that abused you, maybe forgive them and remove the chains you are tied with.”

Susan van Jaarsveld, Senior Director: Human Resources at the University of the Free State, believes that hosting wellness events is a way for the UFS to show that “employees are the most valuable asset of the university and need to be looked after”.

Susan said: “Staff need to know that it is okay not to be okay. However, the UFS has systems to look after your well-being. People need to know that they are not alone, they can make use of the Department of Human Resources’ Careways Employee Wellness Programme.”

Susan believes it was important to host the event, as “staff need face-to-face interaction for their well-being, it helps people to know they are not alone”.

Melissa, the author of the book Weskus Wonderwerk, believes in being unstoppable. She said: “To rise from the trenches, always think positive about yourself, you must exist. You cannot give up; your worth cannot be determined by an individual.” 

News Archive

The silent struggles of those with invisible disabilities
2016-12-13

Description: Dr Magteld Smith, invisible disabilities Tags: Dr Magteld Smith, invisible disabilities 

Dr Magteld Smith, researcher and deaf awareness
activist, from the Department of Otorhinolaryngology
at the UFS.

December is International Disability Awareness Month. Despite equality before the law and some improvements in societal attitudes, people with disabilities are still disadvantaged in many aspects of their lives. They are more likely to be the victims of crime, sexual abuse, are more likely to earn a low income or be unemployed, and less likely to gain qualifications than people without disabilities.

Demystifying disabilities is crucial

Dr Magteld Smith, a researcher at the University of the Free State (UFS) School of Medicine’s Department of Otorhinolaryngology, says that often people think the term “disability” only refers to people using a wheelchair, etc. However, this is a misperception because some individuals have visible disabilities, which can be seen, and some have invisible disabilities, which can’t be seen. Others have both visible and invisible disabilities. There is an ongoing debate as to which group has the greatest life struggles. Those with visible disabilities frequently have to explain what they can do, while individuals with invisible disabilities have to make clear what they cannot do.

Invisible disability is an umbrella term that captures a whole spectrum of invisible disabilities and the focus is not to maintain a list of specific conditions and diagnoses that are considered invisible disabilities. Invisible disabilities include debilitating fatigue, pain, cognitive dysfunctions, mental disorders, hearing and eyesight disabilities and conditions that are primarily neurological in nature.

Judging books by their covers
According to Dr Smith, research indicates that people living with invisible disabilities often suffer more strained relationships than those with visible disabilities due to a serious lack of knowledge, doubts and suspicion around their disability status.

Society might also make serious allegations that people with invisible disabilities are “faking it” or believe they are “lazy”, and sometimes think they are using their invisible disability as an “excuse” to receive “special treatment”, while the person has special needs to function.

Giving recognition and praise
“One of the most heartbreaking attitudes towards persons with invisible disabilities is that they very seldom enjoy acknowledgement for their efforts and accomplishments. The media also seldom report on the achievements of persons with invisible disabilities,” says Dr Smith.

Society has to understand that a person with a disability or disabilities is diagnosed by a medical professional involving various medical procedures and tests. It is not for a society to make any diagnosis of another person.

Dr Smith says the best place to start addressing misperceptions is for society to broaden its understanding of the vast, varying world of disabilities and be more sensitive about people with invisible disabilities. They should be acknowledged and given the same recognition as people with visible disabilities.

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