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17 November 2022 | Story Kutlwano Moqholosane | Photo Supplied
Kutlwano Moqholosane
Kutlwano Moqholosane, a BA Psychology graduate, wishes the class of 2022 well for the December graduations.

Opinion article by Kutlwano Moqholosane, alumna, University of the Free State. Moqholosane obtained her Bachelor of Social Sciences (Human and Societal Dynamics) in April 2022.


To the graduating class of December 2022 – let me start by congratulating you on your hard work! Acceptance to study at university is no small feat and being able to come out on the other side of it is a huge accomplishment to be proud of.

I graduated in April 2022, but my journey with the UFS started back in 2015 when I first sent my application forms. Back then, I was a young girl of 17 with dreams way bigger than me. I felt I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

I was accepted to the university and started in 2016, with the hope to finish in record time and get all the way to master’s and be a practising psychologist by 2022. Life had funny plans, but I'm so grateful for the academic and support staff at the university; they walked me through my mental health struggles and held my hand as I tripped here and there. Without the sensitivity and empathy shown to me by everyone here, I don't think I would eventually have become an alumna of the University of the Free State (UFS).

I had to take a semester off in 2017 after some soul-crushing struggles with mental illness. At the time, I thought it was all over; I could not see a way out of the fog, and I didn’t fully trust myself and my abilities anymore. In January 2018, I made my way back to Bloemfontein to try again anyway.

Between then and now, I have been admitted to a wellness facility a few times. This is unfortunately the reality of living with a chronic mental illness. With each admission, I came back with new and better coping strategies to help me through academics and life in general.

I'm especially glad to have had lecturers like Lindie Coetzee, Kali Nena and Dr Florence Tadi, Dr Lindi Nel, and Dr Jacques Jordaan, who all understood the delicate nature of depression, anxiety, and growing pains, and gave me countless opportunities to write tests, exams, and submit assignments.

What am I doing now?

Well, I'm still a Kovsie through and through! I'm taking a short break from academics, but that does not mean I’m done! I'm sending job applications to the university for the vacancies I might be a good fit for, and I will be applying for admission to the Psychology Honours programme as soon as possible.

I've found a community with the UFS, and I'm very hopeful that I'll still be able to take part and call it home.

My parting message to all of you: stumbling and falling is a fact of life. Some falls will be worse than others, but the biggest thing is that you get up every single time. You are not defined by any of the ways in which you ‘mess up’; you will always have the opportunity to grow into a better person than before.

Once again, congratulations!

News Archive

Dialogue between Science and Society series looks at forgiveness and reconciliation
2013-03-24

 

Taking part in the discussion on forgiveness and living reconciliation, were from left: Olga Macingwane, a survivor of the Worcester bombing of 1993; Dr Juliet Rogers, a Scholar on Remorse from the University of Melbourne in Australia and Dr Deon Snyman, Chairperson of the Worcester Hope and Reconciliation Process.
Photo: Mandi Bezuidenhout
24 March 2013

How do you, as a mother who lost her only daughter, forgive the man who claimed responsibility for the attack that killed her?  How do you forget his crime while travelling with him across the world?  

These were some of the questions posed to Jeanette Fourie at a Dialogue between Science and Society series on forgiveness and living reconciliation. Jeanette, whose daughter Lyndi was killed in an attack on the Heidelberg Pub in Cape Town in 1993, was one of three people telling their stories of forgiveness while dealing with traumatic experiences. 

Sitting next to Letlapa Mphahlele, the man who owned up to the attack that killed her daughter, Jeanette spoke about their story of forgiveness traveling the world together, spreading the message of forgiveness and conciliation. 

"Don't ever think you can forget, because that’s not possible. What you do with the pain is to find peace, and that's what forgiveness does. Forgiveness allows you to stop all the dialogue in your head on why he did it. You don't forget, you confront it and you deal with it." 

Letlapa, Director of Operations of Apla, the military wing of the PAC at the time of Lyndi's death, spoke about dealing with the response to his crime. "Sometimes you wish that you were not forgiven, because now you have the great burden of proving that you are worthy of forgiveness."

Also telling her story of forgiveness was Olga Macingwane, a survivor of the Worcester bombing of 1993 in which four people were killed and sixty-seven others injured. Four people were sent to prison. In 2009 Olga met one of the perpetrators, Stefaans Coetzee, and what came out of that meeting, is her story. 

"When I met Stefaans I was very angry, but when you sit down with somebody and listen to him or her, you find out what the reasons were that made him or her do something. I can say that I forgave him." 

Facilitating the conversation, Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor on Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation, said the seminar was meant to get in touch with the truth that forgiveness is possible. 

"Before we had the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) in South Africa, the experts always said that forgiveness was not possible in these stories of the past. And then the TRC came into life as a response to mass atrocities. For the first time in the history of these traumatic experiences, of political traumas, we witness something that we have never seen.  Even us on the TRC, although it was framed as reconciliation, we never imagined there would actually be stories of forgiveness emerging out of that process, and then we witness that this too is possible." 

Others who took part in the two-hour-long seminar, were Dr Juliet Rogers, a Scholar on Remorse from the University of Melbourne in Australia and Dr Deon Snyman, Chairperson of the Worcester Hope and Reconciliation Process. They spoke about the dynamics behind the processes of engagement between victims/ survivors and perpetrators. 

The Dialogue between Science and Society series was co-hosted by the Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice. 

 

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