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Alumna congratulates graduates

17 November 2022 | Story Kutlwano Moqholosane | Photo Supplied

Opinion article by Kutlwano Moqholosane, alumna, University of the Free State. Moqholosane obtained her Bachelor of Social Sciences (Human and Societal Dynamics) in April 2022.

To the graduating class of December 2022 – let me start by congratulating you on your hard work! Acceptance to study at university is no small feat and being able to come out on the other side of it is a huge accomplishment to be proud of.

I graduated in April 2022, but my journey with the UFS started back in 2015 when I first sent my application forms. Back then, I was a young girl of 17 with dreams way bigger than me. I felt I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

I was accepted to the university and started in 2016, with the hope to finish in record time and get all the way to master’s and be a practising psychologist by 2022. Life had funny plans, but I'm so grateful for the academic and support staff at the university; they walked me through my mental health struggles and held my hand as I tripped here and there. Without the sensitivity and empathy shown to me by everyone here, I don't think I would eventually have become an alumna of the University of the Free State (UFS).

I had to take a semester off in 2017 after some soul-crushing struggles with mental illness. At the time, I thought it was all over; I could not see a way out of the fog, and I didn’t fully trust myself and my abilities anymore. In January 2018, I made my way back to Bloemfontein to try again anyway.

Between then and now, I have been admitted to a wellness facility a few times. This is unfortunately the reality of living with a chronic mental illness. With each admission, I came back with new and better coping strategies to help me through academics and life in general.

I'm especially glad to have had lecturers like Lindie Coetzee, Kali Nena and Dr Florence Tadi, Dr Lindi Nel, and Dr Jacques Jordaan, who all understood the delicate nature of depression, anxiety, and growing pains, and gave me countless opportunities to write tests, exams, and submit assignments.

What am I doing now?

Well, I'm still a Kovsie through and through! I'm taking a short break from academics, but that does not mean I’m done! I'm sending job applications to the university for the vacancies I might be a good fit for, and I will be applying for admission to the Psychology Honours programme as soon as possible.

I've found a community with the UFS, and I'm very hopeful that I'll still be able to take part and call it home.

My parting message to all of you: stumbling and falling is a fact of life. Some falls will be worse than others, but the biggest thing is that you get up every single time. You are not defined by any of the ways in which you ‘mess up’; you will always have the opportunity to grow into a better person than before.

Once again, congratulations!

News Archive

But do you forgive yourself, Eugene de Kock? asks Candice Mama

2015-03-16

From the left are: Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Candice Mama and Prof André Keet, Director of the UFS Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice.
Photo: O'Ryan Heideman

Candice Mama: Audio

Candice Mama and her family met with her father’s assassin. Eugene de Kock. Prime Evil. Commander of the apartheid government’s covert Vlakplaas police unit. And what followed from this meeting was one of our country’s most poignant gestures of reconciliation. One by one, each family member expressed their forgiveness of De Kock, and soon afterwards, he was granted parole.

Candice recently visited the Bloemfontein Campus to talk about ‘An Unexpected Encounter with Eugene de Kock: A Journey of Transformation’. The event was a collaborative effort between the Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice and Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies.

“What makes it possible to cross the boundary from loss and pain to bond with the person who hurt you?” Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, asked Candice. “I had to educate myself about the when, where, and how, to get a context for Eugene de Kock,” she answered. With the encouragement of her mother, Candice became an avid reader from an early age. She devoured information, so that she could build a picture of this man within a specific historical and political context. What also contributed to this moment of reconciliation for her was De Kock humbling himself and taking full responsibility for his actions.

This meeting was not without inner conflict for Candice, though. “Why am I crying for hím?” she asked herself as she listened to him speak. “Why am I laughing?” she chastised herself as De Kock preened shyly for a group photograph with the family. “Is there something wrong with me to connect with him?” She questioned her values and beliefs. But instead of a monster, Candice saw the true essence of a repentant human being.

But how do you know he didn’t fake it, many people asked. Because it was “one of the most sincere and honest encounters I’ve experienced,” she said. During their meeting, Candice saw a man “crushed by the world”. Everything he believed as a young man, he realised, was a lie.

“Do you forgive yourself?” Candice asked the one question De Kock feared most. And in that moment, he was humanised for her. “When you’ve done the things I’ve done,” De Kock replied, “how do you forgive yourself?”
It remains an open question. But this act of forgiveness gives an entire country hope.

For more information or enquiries contact news@ufs.ac.za.

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