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09 September 2022 | Story Angela Vorster | Photo Andrè Damons
Angie Vorster
Angela Vorster is a Clinical Psychologist at the School for Clinical Medicine, University of the Free State (UFS).

Opinion article by Angela Vorster, Clinical Psychologist at the School for Clinical Medicine, University of the Free State.
Twenty-three people will die from suicide today in South Africa. Another 460 South Africans will try to end their lives today. They are from different cultural groups, different income groups, attained different levels of education, speak different languages, range in age from childhood through to elderly, have different genders and sexual orientations. These people have very little in common except that their lives all ended due to the final symptom of an illness. People who experience thoughts of ending their lives describe this mental space as feeling grey. Their thoughts tend to keep returning to the futility of being alive, what a burden they are to those around them, how nothing will ever get better and that nobody can help them. They tend to experience feelings of worthlessness, self-hatred, guilt, hopelessness, immense sadness and despair. Their suffering and emotional pain are excruciating. Nothing is enjoyable anymore. There is nothing to look forward to. Everything is difficult, boring, scary or meaningless. Inwardly they are drowning. But very often they smile, do their job and pass their exams, go on dates and vacations, make plans for the weekend and check up on their loved ones. They look happy in their photos. And when someone asks them if they are okay they say yes. Because they don’t feel like they deserve to feel better. They don’t want to be a bother. They might not call a helpline or make an appointment to see a psychologist or go to their GP for anti-depressants. Because they just don’t have the energy. It’s exhausting pretending to be fine all day. The one thought that brings relief is that they can end this pain. And one day they do. And their colleagues, friends and family are left reeling with shock and disbelief. How could this have happened? How could they have missed the signs? What should they have done differently to prevent this? 

The causes are as complex and varied

This is the purpose of World Suicide Prevention Day which takes place internationally each year on 10 September and through which the International Association for Suicide Prevention endeavours to increase awareness of suicidality, as well as to fight the stigma associated with suicide. Wanting to die can occur along with many other symptoms and disorders including, but not limited to, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, personality disorders and substance dependence or abuse disorders. The causes are as complex and varied as the manner in which suicidality may present. It is dangerous to regard only certain signs and symptoms as indicative of suicide risk, because we know that suicide can be extremely unpredictable. There is no way to tell if someone is a suicide risk based purely on their behaviour. However there are certain factors which may indicate an increased risk for self-harm. These include, but are not limited to, having previously tried to end their life, having a psychiatric illness, being seriously ill or having chronic pain or the misuse of substances. Experiencing legal, relationship, financial or academic stressors may increase suicide risk, as well as having access to lethal means to end their life along with being unable to access mental health care. 

So what can you do if you think someone may be at risk of self-harm? Say something. Talk to them. Tell them what you are worried about and give them the space to express how they feel without judgment or condemnation. Reach out to their support system and share your concerns with them. Encourage the suicidal person to make contact with a health care professional – this can be a psychologist, GP, psychiatrist, social worker, psychiatric nurse, counsellor or a suicide prevention help line. Other important members of our community who provide a great deal of assistance to suicidal people and their families include religious and spiritual leaders, teachers, support groups and employee assistance programmes. There are actually so many ways and places to receive health care and support; however the most significant barrier to making use of these resources is sustained by the stigma associated with suicide and mental illness. In our culture of toxic positivity where our photos are touched up, our statuses updated and our successes plastered on various social media platforms, the authentic act of acknowledging when we feel defeated, unhappy or like a failure has become a rarity. The more real, honest and vulnerable we can be about our ‘undesirable’ emotions and experiences, the more space we create for those around us to do the same. When we normalise not being okay at all times, we give ourselves and others permission to speak up when we need help. And this is our greatest weapon against suicide – authentic connection.

What suicide is not

We’ve explored what it may feel like to be suicidal, now let’s focus on what suicide is not. Suicide is not a moral failing. It is not because the person was weak or selfish, it is not because their family was dysfunctional or their faith not strong enough. Suicide is the final symptom of mental illness – and every single person is vulnerable to experiencing suicidal thoughts. Each one of us will be affected by suicide during the duration of our lives, either directly or indirectly. This is irrespective of how successful you are, how supportive your family is or how strong your religious convictions are. Dying by suicide is not a shame. It is not a failure. It is no different to a patient dying from any other disease. And just like any other illness there are symptoms we can look out for and treatments and medications that can assist in recovery. 

Please think before you speak about someone who died due to suicide. I guarantee that at least one person in the conversation has suffered the pain of losing someone in this way. But you probably wouldn’t even know, because stigma silences. Stigma disconnects and alienates those who need support the most. Our words have the power to shame and silence, or to empower and encourage connection, which is lifesaving. Treat each conversation as though there may be someone present who is having suicidal thoughts or is working through the loss of someone they love due to suicide. Often we want to reach out and support families affected by suicide, but don’t because we are afraid of offending, or upsetting or because we ourselves are so uncomfortable with mental illness. But all these survivors of suicide need from you is your calm, empathetic, kind presence, a safe space to express difficult and messy emotions. Without being blamed or shunned or shamed. Support suicide survivors as though a terrible illness took the life of their loved-one. Because that is exactly what happened. 

On 10 September this year I encourage you to light a candle and place it in your windowsill around 8pm wherever you are. This is in remembrance of those lost to mental illness and to show your support to those they left behind. In the words of the International Association of Suicide Prevention: “By encouraging understanding, reaching in and sharing experiences, we want to give people the confidence to take action. To prevent suicide requires us to become a beacon of light to those in pain. You can be the light.”

• If you or someone you know is at risk of self-harm please take a look at these websites and call the SADAG suicide emergency helpline.


SADAG suicide emergency helpline 0800 567 567

News Archive

Internationally acclaimed academic applauded on Africa Day
2011-06-02

 
 Prof. Ali Mazrui, an internationally acclaimed and renowned academic.

One of the world’s top academics was given a warm welcome in the rather cold Free State recently.

Prof. Ali Mazrui, an internationally acclaimed and renowned academic, visited us as part of our Africa Day celebrations as arranged by the Centre for Africa Studies. He delivered a keynote address, entitled ‘Pro-democracy uprisings in an African experience: from Sharpeville to Benghazi.’

A festive atmosphere and the sound of drums welcomed this intellectual giant as well as other delegates upon their arrival at the CR Swart Auditorium on our Bloemfontein Campus. Some of the delegates who attended the Africa Day Celebrations, included: Mr Tom Amolo, High Commissioner from the Republic of Kenya; Mr Dan Kgothule, MEC of Arts and Culture in the province; Prof. Jeff and Dr Carla Ramsdell, visitors from America; Dr Allan Boesak and Prof. Nicky Morgan, Vice-Rector: Operations.

Prof. Frederick Fourie, former Vice-Chancellor and Rector of our university, also attended the celebrations, as did some scholars from neighboring schools.

Welcoming Prof. Mazrui, Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Vice-Chancellor and Rector of our university, quipped that he was relieved the world had not ended the previous weekend as was predicted, because he was looking forward to listening to such a renowned intellectual.

Prof. Lucius Botes, Dean of Humanities, followed Prof. Jansen at the podium. He said the ability to go from following a bridging course to being one of the top 100 intellectuals in the world, indeed distinguishes Prof. Mazrui as an exceptional academic. This intellectual is, among others, an Albert Luthuli Professor at the University of Jos, Nigeria and Andrew D. Professor Emeritus and Senior Scholar in Africana Studies at Cornell University.

In his introduction, Prof. Mazrui said he feels honored and flattered by this opportunity. He proceeded by referring to the history of Africa Day and added that he would rather prefer an Africa Week to an Africa Day to ensure that everybody has the opportunity to celebrate the continent.

He sang the praises of South Africa, as almost every other African country which attained liberation from European colonial rule in the 20th century, has been unable to maintain its democratic order beyond its first decade of independence.

“The Republic of South Africa, on the other hand, liberated Nelson Mandela in 1990, held its first democratic election in 1994, and already has its third president. Nearly two decades after Apartheid, South Africa has not outlawed opposition parties, or experienced a military coup, or permitted the Head of State to govern the country as a dictator.”

In his speech he compared the uprisings in Sharpeville during 1960 and Soweto during 1976 with the more recent pro-democracy uprisings in North Africa, based on the role that weapons and the lack thereof, as well as the youth and women played in the respective cases.

He concluded by saying the uprisings in Tunisia and Egypt have already resulted in ousting dictators who had been entrenched in power for decades, adding that in Libya a third dictator’s future is on the line. “Never in the history of the Arabs have there been so many popular uprisings which seem to be inspired neither by Islam nor by anti-imperialism, but in the quest for liberal reforms. Half a century earlier in Sharpeville and Soweto, South Africans experienced their own political awakening.”

Prof. Kwandiwe Kondlo, Director of the Centre for Africa Studies, closed the event with a word of thanks to the American academic and his wife, guests and attendees. He said discussions prior to the event revealed that more research has to be done regarding gender issues on the continent.

Prof. Mazrui also participated in conversations at the institute and a media briefing which was hosted earlier the day.

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