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08 December 2023 | Story Leonie Bolleurs | Photo Charl Devenish
Thabo Dithebe
When Thabo Dithebe walked across the stage in the Callie Human Centre, a childhood dream came true, despite several difficulties he had to deal with during his studies.

Thabo Dithebe received his Bachelor of Management Leadership (BML) qualification during the University of the Free State’s December graduation ceremonies. His life journey of resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace unexpected opportunities is an inspiring story that needs to be told. 

Born in the farming community of Bothaville, Thabo initially wanted to pursue a career in engineering, and he chose maths, science, and technical subjects in high school. However, a temporary job in retail near home and experiencing the toll of retrenchment redirected his path to sales and marketing and pushed him to apply for a BML in the UFS Business School.

“When I enrolled for the BML, my childhood dream of going to university became a reality. Although the journey was not easy, it was worth pursuing,” says Thabo, who is employed as an area sales manager at Marltons Pet Care.

Balancing studies and responsibilities at home

In addition to managing the pressure of being stretched to the limit in class, Thabo also had to balance his studies with the responsibilities at home – taking care of his sick and disabled daughter.

“Balancing these commitments was always a challenge, but I was fortunate to have a supportive caregiver who understood the needs of children living with disabilities. There were tough times, especially during submission seasons when my daughter would fall ill. In those moments, I had to prioritise her health, temporarily setting aside my studies until she received proper care at the hospital,” he states.

Besides caring for his daughter and being retrenched, he also went through a breakup. Thabo believes that things could have turned out differently if he had stopped imagining and dreaming, because he had every reason to give up. He describes reaching this significant milestone in his life as ‘unreal’. 

He says that he was motivated to persevere, because from the first day he enrolled, he wanted to make his family proud of him. “There were times when I asked myself if I had what it takes to complete the programme. Should I choose not to complete the course, what would I say to my son when life knocks him down, when he sees me giving up? How do I face my mother if I came back defeated? I had good people on my side who wanted me to succeed,” he says.

Ready to take on the next challenge

Having reached this significant milestone in his life, Thabo is ready for the next challenge. “I am hoping to be accepted into the PGDip in Business Administration programme for the 2024 intake,” he says. 

He advises others who face challenges while pursuing their educational goals to understand that their situation is not permanent and that there is strength in adversity. “It is important to celebrate the small victories often and to associate yourself with people who work harder than you,” he adds.

On 7 December 2023, as Thabo walked across the stage, he looked for the face of his mother in the audience – a lady who made several sacrifices to raise him and his five siblings. “I hope that when she saw me, she was very proud of me,” he concludes. 

News Archive

“You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance” – Dr Mamphela Ramphele during second Leah Tutu Gender Symposium
2015-02-28

 

From the left are: Samantha van Schalkwyk, Zanele Mbeki, Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela and Dr Mamphela Ramphele.
Photo: Johan Roux

 

Video message from Mrs Leah Tutu

Session 1: Keynote address by Dr Mamphela Ramphele
Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man 

Session 2: Professor Robert Morrell from the University of Cape Town
South African Gender Studies: Setting the context

Session 3: How can we engage young men to act against violence against women?
Panel discussion by Lisa Vetten (Wits Institute for Social and Economic Research), Despina Learmonth (Psychology Department, University of Cape Town) and Wessel van den Berg (Sonke Gender Justice) 

Session 4: Professor Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela
Self-defence as a strategy for women’s resistance: Reflections on the work of Susan Brison
 

Engaging men to act against gender-based violence in the Southern African context.

This was the theme of the second International Leah Tutu Symposium, hosted by the Gender Initiative of Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies of the University of the Free State (UFS) on Tuesday 24 February 2015.

What does it mean to be man? How can men become active in the fight against gender-based violence? And when does one say: enough is enough? Questions like these set the tone as highly-respected individuals such as Dr Mamphela Ramphele, Prof Rob Morrell, Lisa Vetten and Andy Kawa took to the stage in the Odeion on the Bloemfontein Campus.

Leah Tutu
Unfortunately, Mrs Leah Tutu could not attend this year’s event, but she still managed to send sparks of wit and insight into the auditorium. In her video message, Mrs Tutu referred to the fact that our country has “consigned discriminatory legislation to the rubbish bin of the past”, but we continue to inhabit a divided society.

“We have a constitution and bill of rights that should have sounded the death knell for patriarchy. But women are unsafe across the land,” Mrs Tutu said. “Our freedom cost too much to be left out in the rain,” she urged.

Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man
In Dr Ramphele’s keynote address, “Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man”, she scrutinised the dominant masculinity model that has supported an alpha-male mentality for millennia. A mentality that celebrates dominance, power and control – where the winner takes it all. How then, can we expect our young boys to embrace the value system of a human rights culture?

“Gender equality is at the heart of our constitutional democratic values. Yet, our society continues to privilege and celebrate the alpha male as a masculinity model,” Dr Ramphele said. This dissonance can only produce conflict and violence.

We encourage our young men to be gentle, communicative, caring people who show their emotions. And when they do, what do we as women do? Do we encourage them?

“Or do we join those who call them wimps, moffies, sissies? How do we respond when they are ridiculed?” Dr Ramphele asked. Are we, as mothers, fathers and grandparents willing to socialise our children to acknowledge a diversity of masculinities as equally valid in our society?

The new man and the new woman of the 21st century need to be liberated from the conflict-ridden dominant masculinity model. They need to be able to shape their identity in line with a value system of human rights as enshrined in our constitution.

Perhaps Dr Ramphele’s message could be summed up by one sentence: You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance.

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