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‘I wanted my family to be proud of me’, says BML graduate

08 December 2023 | Story Leonie Bolleurs | Photo Charl Devenish

Thabo Dithebe received his Bachelor of Management Leadership (BML) qualification during the University of the Free State’s December graduation ceremonies. His life journey of resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace unexpected opportunities is an inspiring story that needs to be told.

Born in the farming community of Bothaville, Thabo initially wanted to pursue a career in engineering, and he chose maths, science, and technical subjects in high school. However, a temporary job in retail near home and experiencing the toll of retrenchment redirected his path to sales and marketing and pushed him to apply for a BML in the UFS Business School.

“When I enrolled for the BML, my childhood dream of going to university became a reality. Although the journey was not easy, it was worth pursuing,” says Thabo, who is employed as an area sales manager at Marltons Pet Care.

Balancing studies and responsibilities at home

In addition to managing the pressure of being stretched to the limit in class, Thabo also had to balance his studies with the responsibilities at home – taking care of his sick and disabled daughter.

“Balancing these commitments was always a challenge, but I was fortunate to have a supportive caregiver who understood the needs of children living with disabilities. There were tough times, especially during submission seasons when my daughter would fall ill. In those moments, I had to prioritise her health, temporarily setting aside my studies until she received proper care at the hospital,” he states.

Besides caring for his daughter and being retrenched, he also went through a breakup. Thabo believes that things could have turned out differently if he had stopped imagining and dreaming, because he had every reason to give up. He describes reaching this significant milestone in his life as ‘unreal’.

He says that he was motivated to persevere, because from the first day he enrolled, he wanted to make his family proud of him. “There were times when I asked myself if I had what it takes to complete the programme. Should I choose not to complete the course, what would I say to my son when life knocks him down, when he sees me giving up? How do I face my mother if I came back defeated? I had good people on my side who wanted me to succeed,” he says.

Ready to take on the next challenge

Having reached this significant milestone in his life, Thabo is ready for the next challenge. “I am hoping to be accepted into the PGDip in Business Administration programme for the 2024 intake,” he says.

He advises others who face challenges while pursuing their educational goals to understand that their situation is not permanent and that there is strength in adversity. “It is important to celebrate the small victories often and to associate yourself with people who work harder than you,” he adds.

On 7 December 2023, as Thabo walked across the stage, he looked for the face of his mother in the audience – a lady who made several sacrifices to raise him and his five siblings. “I hope that when she saw me, she was very proud of me,” he concludes.

News Archive

Prof Antjie Krog speaks on verbalising revulsion and the collusion of men

2015-06-26

From the left are Prof Lucius Botes, UFS: Dean of the Faculty of the Humanities; Prof Helene Strauss, UFS: Department of English; Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, UFS: Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies; Prof Antjie Krog, UCT: Department Afrikaans and Dutch; Dr Buhle Zuma, UCT: Department of Psychology. Both Prof Strauss and Dr Zuma are partners in the Mellon Foundation research project.

“This is one of the bitterest moments I have ever endured. I would rather see my daughter carried away as a corpse than see her raped like this.”

This is one of 32 testimonies that were locked away quietly in 1902. These documents, part of the NC Havenga collection, contain the testimonies of Afrikaner women describing their experiences of sexual assault and rape at the hands of British soldiers during the South African War.

This cluster of affidavits formed the foundation of a public lecture that Prof Antjie Krog delivered at the University of the Free State’s (UFS) Bloemfontein Campus on Tuesday 23 June 2015. The lecture, entitled ‘They Couldn’t Achieve their Goal with Me: Narrating Rape during the South African War’, was the third instalment in the Vice-Chancellor’s Lecture Series on Trauma, Memory, and Representations of the Past. The series is hosted by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies at the UFS, as part of a five-year research project funded by the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation.

Verbalising revulsion

The testimonies were taken down during the last two months of the war, and “some of the women still had marks and bruises on their bodies as evidence,” Prof Krog said. The victims’ words, on the other hand, struggled to express the story their bodies told.

What are the nouns for that which one sees? What words are permissible in front of men? How does one process revulsion verbally? These are the barriers the victims – raised with Victorian reserve – faced while trying to express their trauma, Prof Krog explained.

The collusion of men

When the war ended, there was a massive drive to reconcile the Boers and the British. “Within this process of letting bygones be bygones,” Prof Krog said, “affidavits of severe violations by white men had no place. Through the collusion of men, prioritising reconciliation between two white male hierarchies, these affidavits were shelved, and, finally, had to suffer an embargo.”

“It is only when South Africa accepted a constitution based on equality and safety from violence,” Prof Krog said, “that the various levels of deeply-rooted brutality, violence, and devastation of men against the vulnerable in society seemed to burst like an evil boil into the open, leaving South African aghast in its toxic suppurations. As if, for many decades, we did not know it was there and multiplied.”

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