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Miss. Diagnosed.

22 December 2023 | Story Michelle Nöthling | Photo Anja Aucamp

According to Dr Munita Dunn-Coetzee, it is increasingly recognised that females with ADHD portray a different ‘picture’ in terms of behaviour, symptoms, and comorbidities when compared to males with ADHD.

I’m a failure as an adult. I’m a disappointment as a colleague. I’m a lousy friend. I’m a burden as a wife. I’m a bad mom and I’m constantly scrambling to try and hide it.

This is the secret interior reality of a group of neurodivergent adults who have been long overlooked by scientists and doctors alike. The Lost Generation. It is now recognised that there is an entire generation of women out there who have battled with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) their entire lives – and don’t know it.

Women and girls living with ADHD

For decades, ADHD has been predominantly associated with hyperactive young boys bouncing off the walls. The reason for this widely-held misconception is due to the fact that studies originally focused on young European American boys – their symptoms becoming the benchmark for all. Women were not even included in ADHD studies until the late 1990s, and the first long-term study on girls was only conducted in 2002. The results? Girls’ ADHD symptoms bear little resemblance to those of boys. Dr Munita Dunn-Coetzee, Director of Student Counselling and Development at the UFS, agrees. “It is increasingly recognised that females with ADHD portray a different ‘picture’ in terms of behaviour, symptoms, and comorbidities when compared to males with ADHD. Females are less likely to be identified and referred for assessment, and their needs are less likely to be met.” Therefore, the majority of girls and women with ADHD remain un- or misdiagnosed.

But what does ADHD in women look like? First, let’s take a step back. There are three types of ADHD: the hyperactive type, the inattentive type, and the combined type – which includes both hyperactivity and inattention. Hyperactivity in females is much more likely to present internally, in the mind, and inattentiveness as daydreaming and disorganisation. This is much more than sitting still in class or having trouble with homework. Faced with behavioural and social pressures to perform, girls often learn to mask and overcompensate for their problems – making diagnosis even more difficult.

Carry the struggle to adulthood

When left untreated, girls with ADHD will most likely carry their struggle into adulthood. ADHD in adult women often results in chronic low self-esteem, self-loathing, feelings of inadequacy, sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders. Women with ADHD also typically present with tremendous time management challenges, chronic overwhelm, and exhaustion – exacerbated by societal pressures. The risk of self-harm and suicide attempts is also startlingly higher compared to their male counterparts.

There is tremendous hope, though. Drs Edward Hallowell and John Ratey – experts in the field who both have ADHD – describe ADHD as an array of traits specific to a unique kind of mind that can become a distinct advantage with appropriate treatment and support. ADHD is not a condemnation of character. Instead, it unveils a kaleidoscope of strengths and a unique constellation of traits deserving of celebration.

News Archive

Kovsie student and reigning Miss Lesotho en route to Miss World 2015

2015-11-03

Relebohile Kobeli - the beauty queen of Lesotho

Relebohile Kobeli was crowned Miss Lesotho 2015 earlier this year, and is now en route to Miss World International 2015 in China to represent the mountainous Kingdom. The beauty pageant, which takes place between November and December, will see contestants from over 150 countries contending for the title.

The nineteen-year-old second-year Geography and Environmental Management student at the University of the Free State (UFS) also won Miss Lesotho in 2014. She holds other titles, such as Miss Outeniqua 2014, and First Princess Face of Lesotho 2013.

What would it mean to be the first from Lesotho to sit on the Miss World throne?

I believe that it would be a turning point for pageantry in Lesotho. We are one of the few countries that do not fully recognise pageants, and the value they add to the tourism industry. Winning the throne would be putting into practice the theory that we, as beauty queens in Lesotho, always practice what we preach.

Since beginning this Miss World contest, in what way have you reached out to your community through the Beauty with a Purpose project?

My Beauty with a Purpose project focuses mainly on introducing and helping start up sustainable projects in communities. I wanted to move away from giving people donations to giving them the skills to ensure their long-term livelihood.

What skill sets do you possess that are essential to succeeding as an international first queen?

I am a very creative individual who thinks on her feet. That is important for me because, when you are far away from home, should things go wrong, there's no room for panic. I am sociable and human-centered, I relate to different people, regardless of cultural differences, and, as an international queen, it is important to be appreciative of others’ way of life, regardless of how different it is are from your own.

Rolene Strauss, the current Miss World, stated her ambition to capitalise on promoting forgiveness, hope, and unity during her tenure. What are you hoping to achieve, given the chance as her successor?

I would definitely speak about self-reliance among young women and the youth at large. I come from a country where not everyone is lucky enough to get a job. In such cases, young men and women fall into crime, young women become victims of sexual abuse or prostitution, and, although one may argue that that is self-reliance, is it sustainable? Is it not escaping one fire to jump into another? It is important for me to represent every girl who has ever had a dream. I am spreading the message of possibilities when the world is yelling "Impossible!"

What has been the highlight of your term as Miss Lesotho?

My greatest highlight was finding myself through service to others. I discovered that the more I invest in myself, the more of me I can give and share.

The Miss Lesotho 2016 competition is around the corner, what words of wisdom would you like to share with hopefuls?

Pageantry is not all about pretty dresses and tiaras. It is hard work. Always be humble, and remember that, whatever the outcome, it is your life's journey. You are destined for greatness. Don't deny yourself that privilege.

In your experience, what is the Kovsie feeling referred to in the maxim “Only a Kovsie knows the feeling”?

It is the desire to want to be great, the motivation to live to my full potential.

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