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06 September 2023 | Story Angela Vorster | Photo Andre Damons
Angie Vorster
Angela Vorster is a Clinical Psychologist at the School for Clinical Medicine, University of the Free State (UFS).

Opinion article by Angela Vorster, Clinical Psychologist at the School for Clinical Medicine, University of the Free State.

If you are reading this you may be interested in better understanding why there is a need for a World Suicide Prevention Day each year on 10 September. For some it may seem morbid, while for others it is just another awareness initiative. But for too many, suicide is personal. You may have lost someone you love in this manner. Or you yourself may be struggling with thoughts of ending your life. If you fall into the latter group you may want to skip over to the very last paragraph, because I know your attention may be waning and your energy may be low. Everybody else, please join me in better understanding the need for awareness of thoughts of self-harm and attempts at ending one’s life.

Mental illness can be fatal 

In most instances dying by ‘suicide’ is more accurately described as dying from a psychiatric disease. Mental illness can be fatal if left untreated and we need only refer to suicide-related statistics to realise the magnitude of this plague in South Africa. The World Health Organisation indicated that South Africa is ranked 10th on the list of international countries with the highest suicide rates, while The South African Depression and AFnxiety Group (Sadag) reports 23 deaths by suicide per day. For each person who dies by suicide in our country; 10 others attempt to end their lives. Up to nine out of 10 people who die by suicide in South Africa had a mental health disease such as depression at the time of their death. If we take a look at these facts, it becomes almost absurd that we still regard mental illness and thoughts of self-harm and the act of causing self-death, as shameful and abnormal. But that is still very much how mental illness and particularly suicidality are viewed in our communities. Perhaps if we are able to really understand what it feels like to feel so terribly sad, empty, hopeless, worthless and guilty that you would rather end your life than suffer through another hour; perhaps then we would be able to create safe spaces for those who feel suicidal to express how they feel. It is only through connection and communication that we can provide the right support at the right time in order to save lives.

The black dog

There are many descriptions of what it feels like to be so ill that death seems the only cure and these vary across cultures and countries. The Black Dog Institute in Australia derived its name from the description of depression as feeling as though a menacing dark dog-like creature is following you around and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t shake it. Winston Churchill used this metaphor to describe times when he felt melancholic, demotivated and down. Now I love dogs, so I imagine this particular type of canine as being almost monstrous, not leaving you alone, but also not giving you anything. Instead of the loyalty and companionship and protection that our pet dogs give us, this dog demands constant feeding, does not allow you any freedom and prevents you from making contact with other people. The moment you start to reach out to someone, this black dog starts growling in the background and you give up or scare them away with your dark mood. And the black beast has you all to himself once again. This type of depression sucks your energy and your motivation. It makes you irritable and tired and isolated. Difficult to like.

Another metaphor for depression is ‘feeling blue’, one which we use so frequently that we have perhaps not stopped to consider where it originates. There are many theories, and all of them quite bleak. One is that the description derives from the human body that turns blue after death; another that ships used to fly blue flags if their captain had perished at sea, and yet another, that Zeus, the Greek God of the sky and thunder, would make it rain when he was sad. Have you noticed how flippantly people comment on ‘the baby blues’ as though this were something almost endearing and expected that is associated with becoming a mother. This while the stark reality of post-natal depression has been highlighted in the recent trial of Dr Lauren Dickason in New Zealand. I cannot comment on the legal aspects related to her case, but what I found jarring was the number of times that she told the people around her that she wanted to die or that she wanted to harm her children. I have worked with many women diagnosed with post-partum depression who describe feeling as though they are drowning. Having nothing to stand on, being pummelled by waves, unable to catch a breath and with no sight of help or the shore. This type of depression is a torturous combination of distress, anxiety and hopelessness where you just cannot stop the negative fearful ruminations swirling in your mind. There is no calm, no silence and no peace.

Feeling nothing 

The metaphor I find most disturbing is when depressed patients describe feeling ‘nothing’. So often people will express feeling empty and their lives as grey. Nothingness. And I am always reminded of the 1980s movie ‘Neverending Story’ where everything that was magical and creative and hopeful had been swallowed up by ‘The Nothing’ – an empty energy that consumed everything in its way. How terrifying it must be to feel nothing. No hope, no joy, no excitement, not even sadness or fear. Just nothing. Blank. And no matter what you do or how hard you try, you just feel nothing. How horrifying it must be to hug someone you love, or have to get up each morning and go to school, or go to work and have to paste on a smile and chat about the weekend while you feel nothing. I can only imagine the desperation to feel something. Anything. This depression is you sitting on your bed and staring at the ceiling for hours. Waiting for it to end. 

Something that stands out to me as a common theme among all of these metaphors is this: if a monster is following you around, nobody wants to come near you. If you are gasping for breath and swallowing water drowning in the sea – there is nobody around to save you. If you float through your days in a bubble of nothingness – you are alone. The antidote to suicidality is connection. It is being willing to spend time with someone who has a growling, slobbering, and mangy stray dog following them. It is listening to someone who is struggling and thrashing, terrified of drowning. It is being brave enough to enter nothingness and to realise that you too could horrifyingly easily feel empty and grey too. Now we need to be cautious. It is dangerous dealing with an angry dog, or trying so save a drowning person or rescuing someone floating off into space. We cannot do it alone and we cannot do it without experts. But the first step is to shout, or speak or whisper: ‘Hello’. ‘I’m here’. ‘I’ll get help’. Without fear or judgement or discrimination. But with the deep understanding that being human is a treacherous thing. And recalling the times when a safe, strong hand reached out to pull us away from danger. Because you see, we are all vulnerable to being followed by a black dog. Or being washed away by a wave. Or being consumed by The Nothing. 

Grab hold of the stretched out hand 

What makes us human is our vulnerability. To diseases of the body. And diseases of the mind. And what makes us human is our willingness to see our own vulnerabilities in others. I will reach out and help you because I too have needed help. So this World Suicide Prevention Day let us tame black dogs and send life rafts out to stormy seas. Let us be the solid ground to tether those who are floating away into outer space. And when we find ourselves followed or drowning or adrift – let us too reach past the snarling and swirling and emptiness to touch the outstretched hands of those who are here for us. Because they are here. We are right here. But in order to be rescued from the attacking beast, or the crashing waves or the airlessness of space, you have to grab hold of the hand stretched out toward you. 

If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings of depression please tell someone you trust how you feel and make contact with one of the 24-hour support lines such as The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) (+27 800-567-567) or LifeLine (+27 861-322-322).

Also take a look at these websites:

News Archive

During 2011: Appointments
2011-12-01

Dr Lis Lange: Senior Director: DIRAP

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Dr Lis Lange, an Argentinean by birth, immigrated to South Africa twenty years ago – a few weeks after Nelson Mandela had walked through the gates of Victor Verster. For the past ten years, she has been involved in quality assurance for higher education institutions at the Council on Higher Education at national level.

She is assisting our university in the areas of quality assurance and academic planning, contributing to the development of deep intellectual debate and multi-disciplinary research.


Prof. Charles Dumas, Department of Drama and Theatre Arts

Description: 2011 Appointments_Charles Dumas Tags: 2011 Appointments_Charles Dumas

Prof. Charles Dumas, Extraordinary Professor in our Department of Drama and Theatre Arts, will be spending three months per year for the next three years at our university to help develop filmmaking, specifically focusing on the development of the Video Unit Planned for the Department.

Prof. Dumas started the year off with the production, Our Father’s Daughters, which was produced during the Mini-festival as well as at the Reitz Four reconciliation meeting. The production was also turned into a short film. Prof. Dumas gave film-acting classes to the third-year drama students. He directed multiple productions, such as the third-year module production Ipi Zombi, the Grahamstown Festival production, Seven Guitars and the Dance/drama production, Race, Reconciliation and the Reitz Four.


Prof. Daniel Plaatjies, UFS Business School

Description: 2011 Appointments_Daniel Plaatjies Tags: 2011 Appointments_Daniel Plaatjies

Prof. Daniel Plaatjies is the former Director and Head of the Graduate School of Public and Development Management at the University of the Witwatersrand. He was mainly responsible for the leading, directing and managing of strategic academic programmes, teaching, research, governance, service management and monitoring. Prof. Plaatjies, who was appointed as Visiting Professor at our Business School this year, will as part of his new duties at our Faculty of Economic and Management Sciences, be lecturing part-time and supervise our PhD students.


Prof. Johann Neethling, Department of Private Law

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Prof. Johann Neethling’s career is now completing its full circle with his appointment as Senior Professor in our Department of Private Law. In 1965 he was a first-year at this university. With his nine law text books and nearly 200 articles, together with 40 years’ experience in academic training he is of inestimable value to this Department. His publications contribute to the establishment of our university as a research institute.


Prof. Hussein Solomon, Department of Political Science

 Description: 2011 Appointments_Hussein Solomon Tags: 2011 Appointments_Hussein Solomon

Prof. Hussein Solomon joined our university this year as Senior Professor in the Department of Political Science. Formerly he worked in peace NGOs, advised diplomats and acts as a serving officer in the South African Air Force.

His area of research expertise includes conflict and conflict resolution in Africa; South African Foreign Policy; international relations theory; religious fundamentalism and population movements within the developing world. He is also the author of a number of books, including one on global jihad and one on India's secret relationship with apartheid South Africa.

He is also member of the internationally renowned Our Humanity in the Balance (OHIB) organisation, where his role is to bring these disparate communities together and to focus energies on a common project.


Prof. André Keet, International Institute for Studies in Race, Reconciliation and Social Justice

Description: 2011 Appointments_Andre Keet Tags: 2011 Appointments_Andre Keet

Prof. André Keet, our Director of the International Institute for Studies in Race, Reconciliation and Social Justice, joined the University of Pretoria on a part-time basis in 2008, whilst being a Commissioner on the Commission for Gender Equality. Later he left the Commission and joined the University of Fort Hare. “I was happy to join academia and now also serve on the Stellenbosch University Council; therefore I am very aware of the challenges facing higher education,” he said.

His vision for the Institute is to support higher-education transformation, promote non-discrimination, reconciliation and human rights, build national, regional and international networks, and developing ‘new’ languages, knowledge and discourses for reconciliation and social justice, all to the benefit of our university and South Africa.”


Prof. Helene Strauss, Department of English

Description: 2011 Appointments_Helena Strauss Tags: 2011 Appointments_Helena Strauss

Prof. Helene Strauss completed her PhD at the University of Western Ontario, London, Canada, where she taught courses on Film Studies, Children’s Literature and South African Literature and Culture. “I was subsequently appointed as an Assistant Professor in the Department of English and Cultural Studies at McMaster University, Hamilton, Canada.” She joined our Department of English this year.

Prof. Strauss has an on-going preoccupation with questions concerning social justice, race, gender and ethical interpersonal interaction in South Africa and beyond.


Prof. EC Ejiogu, Centre for Africa Studies

Description: 2011 Appointments_EC Ejiogu Tags: 2011 Appointments_EC Ejiogu

After 22 years in the United States of America, Prof. EC Ejiogu decided to return to Africa – to his roots – to join our university’s Centre for Africa Studies at the beginning of 2011.

Before joining the Centre, he was Assistant Research Professor in the Centre for Innovation at the University of Maryland, College Park. As Senior Researcher at the Centre, he has already helped with the streamlining of the academic programme, restructuring it to enable students to gain skills necessary to deliver a research proposal towards a dissertation after their three years of study. He has also taken up PhD and Master’s supervision.

His latest publications include a book published in March 2011 with the title, Roots of Political Instability in Nigeria, and a book co-edited with Prof. Kwandiwe Kondlo, Director of the Centre for Africa Studies, Africa in focus: Governance in the 21st century, published in April 2011.


Pura Mgolombane, Vice-Dean: Student Affairs

Description: 2011 Appointments_Pura Tags: 2011 Appointments_Pura

Bringing with him a decade of experience in Student Affairs our new Assistant-Dean for Student Life and Leadership, Pura Mgolombane, has big plans for student development. He says his office wants to help Kovsies increase its throughput rate and produce socially well-adjusted and employable graduates in South Africa, the continent and anywhere in the world.

Before joining Kovsies, he was employed as Director: Student Life, Governance and Culture at Walter Sisulu University. Pura, who has a background in Human Resources, Business Management and Corporate Law, says his academic training has empowered him with skills to ensure that the Student Life and Leadership is properly led, governed and managed.


Prof. Hasina Ebrahim, School for Social Sciences and Language Education

Description: 2011 Appointments_Hasina Ebrahim Tags: 2011 Appointments_Hasina Ebrahim

This former academic from the University of Kwa-Zulu Natal was appointed as Associate Professor at our School for Social Sciences and Language Education in the Faculty of Education. Amongst others, she is the project coordinator for the Faculty’s Early Childhood and Foundation Phase Teacher Education Programme and the MEd and PhD supervisor in the programme.

Prof. Ebrahim is also the Deputy-President of the first South African Research Association for Early Childhood Education (birth to nine). “This is certainly a milestone to profile the university in terms of its thrust towards excellence in research,” she says. One of the main aims of the association is to shape the research agenda for a marginalised field in South Africa. 


Prof. Corli Witthuhn, Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences

 Description: 2011 Appointments_Corli Witthuhn Tags: 2011 Appointments_Corli Witthuhn

Prof. Corli Witthuhn, a former Bloemfonteiner, attained her PhD in Microbiology at our university. Therafter, in 1999, she was appointed as a lecturer at Stellenbosch University and later as Vice-Dean.

Currently she is our Vice-Dean in the Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences. She hopes to sustain her research here at our University.

Her life motto? “Opportunities are presented in the form of obstacles,” she says.
 


Prof. Melanie Walker

Description: 2011 Appointments_Melanie Walker Tags: 2011 Appointments_Melanie Walker

Prof. Melanie Walker is a prominent South African scholar who has been working as Professor of Higher Education Studies at the world-leading University of Nottingham in the UK, where she been Director of Postgraduate Students and a Director of Research in the Faculty of Social Sciences. She will join the University of the Free State in February 2012 as Senior University Professor in the Postgraduate School.

She is a graduate of the University of KwaZulu-Natal and the University of Cape Town, where she completed her PhD, after teaching in disadvantaged secondary schools for a number of years. Prior to working at Nottingham she worked at the Universities of Sheffield, West of England and Glasgow, as well as the Universities of Cape Town and the Western Cape. She is also a Fellow of the Human Development and Capability Association. She is currently Director of Research Training and a senior researcher in the EU-funded Marie Curie EDUWEL project, which includes senior researchers from eight European countries and 15 early-stage researchers.

With a long-standing commitment to social-justice research and equality practices, she is currently widely recognised internationally as leading in the application of the capability approach and human development to higher education policy and practice. Among others, she has led or participated in research projects funded by the NRF (South Africa), the Higher Education Academy (UK), HEFCE (UK), EU, and ESRC/DfID, which funded the Public-Good Professionals’ Capability Index research project. 
 

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