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Reach out this World Suicide Prevention Day

06 September 2023 | Story Angela Vorster | Photo Andre Damons

Angie Vorster — Angela Vorster is a Clinical Psychologist at the School for Clinical Medicine, University of the Free State (UFS).

Opinion article by Angela Vorster, Clinical Psychologist at the School for Clinical Medicine, University of the Free State.

If you are reading this you may be interested in better understanding why there is a need for a World Suicide Prevention Day each year on 10 September. For some it may seem morbid, while for others it is just another awareness initiative. But for too many, suicide is personal. You may have lost someone you love in this manner. Or you yourself may be struggling with thoughts of ending your life. If you fall into the latter group you may want to skip over to the very last paragraph, because I know your attention may be waning and your energy may be low. Everybody else, please join me in better understanding the need for awareness of thoughts of self-harm and attempts at ending one’s life.

Mental illness can be fatal

In most instances dying by ‘suicide’ is more accurately described as dying from a psychiatric disease. Mental illness can be fatal if left untreated and we need only refer to suicide-related statistics to realise the magnitude of this plague in South Africa. The World Health Organisation indicated that South Africa is ranked 10th on the list of international countries with the highest suicide rates, while The South African Depression and AFnxiety Group (Sadag) reports 23 deaths by suicide per day. For each person who dies by suicide in our country; 10 others attempt to end their lives. Up to nine out of 10 people who die by suicide in South Africa had a mental health disease such as depression at the time of their death. If we take a look at these facts, it becomes almost absurd that we still regard mental illness and thoughts of self-harm and the act of causing self-death, as shameful and abnormal. But that is still very much how mental illness and particularly suicidality are viewed in our communities. Perhaps if we are able to really understand what it feels like to feel so terribly sad, empty, hopeless, worthless and guilty that you would rather end your life than suffer through another hour; perhaps then we would be able to create safe spaces for those who feel suicidal to express how they feel. It is only through connection and communication that we can provide the right support at the right time in order to save lives.

The black dog

There are many descriptions of what it feels like to be so ill that death seems the only cure and these vary across cultures and countries. The Black Dog Institute in Australia derived its name from the description of depression as feeling as though a menacing dark dog-like creature is following you around and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t shake it. Winston Churchill used this metaphor to describe times when he felt melancholic, demotivated and down. Now I love dogs, so I imagine this particular type of canine as being almost monstrous, not leaving you alone, but also not giving you anything. Instead of the loyalty and companionship and protection that our pet dogs give us, this dog demands constant feeding, does not allow you any freedom and prevents you from making contact with other people. The moment you start to reach out to someone, this black dog starts growling in the background and you give up or scare them away with your dark mood. And the black beast has you all to himself once again. This type of depression sucks your energy and your motivation. It makes you irritable and tired and isolated. Difficult to like.

Another metaphor for depression is ‘feeling blue’, one which we use so frequently that we have perhaps not stopped to consider where it originates. There are many theories, and all of them quite bleak. One is that the description derives from the human body that turns blue after death; another that ships used to fly blue flags if their captain had perished at sea, and yet another, that Zeus, the Greek God of the sky and thunder, would make it rain when he was sad. Have you noticed how flippantly people comment on ‘the baby blues’ as though this were something almost endearing and expected that is associated with becoming a mother. This while the stark reality of post-natal depression has been highlighted in the recent trial of Dr Lauren Dickason in New Zealand. I cannot comment on the legal aspects related to her case, but what I found jarring was the number of times that she told the people around her that she wanted to die or that she wanted to harm her children. I have worked with many women diagnosed with post-partum depression who describe feeling as though they are drowning. Having nothing to stand on, being pummelled by waves, unable to catch a breath and with no sight of help or the shore. This type of depression is a torturous combination of distress, anxiety and hopelessness where you just cannot stop the negative fearful ruminations swirling in your mind. There is no calm, no silence and no peace.

Feeling nothing

The metaphor I find most disturbing is when depressed patients describe feeling ‘nothing’. So often people will express feeling empty and their lives as grey. Nothingness. And I am always reminded of the 1980s movie ‘Neverending Story’ where everything that was magical and creative and hopeful had been swallowed up by ‘The Nothing’ – an empty energy that consumed everything in its way. How terrifying it must be to feel nothing. No hope, no joy, no excitement, not even sadness or fear. Just nothing. Blank. And no matter what you do or how hard you try, you just feel nothing. How horrifying it must be to hug someone you love, or have to get up each morning and go to school, or go to work and have to paste on a smile and chat about the weekend while you feel nothing. I can only imagine the desperation to feel something. Anything. This depression is you sitting on your bed and staring at the ceiling for hours. Waiting for it to end.

Something that stands out to me as a common theme among all of these metaphors is this: if a monster is following you around, nobody wants to come near you. If you are gasping for breath and swallowing water drowning in the sea – there is nobody around to save you. If you float through your days in a bubble of nothingness – you are alone. The antidote to suicidality is connection. It is being willing to spend time with someone who has a growling, slobbering, and mangy stray dog following them. It is listening to someone who is struggling and thrashing, terrified of drowning. It is being brave enough to enter nothingness and to realise that you too could horrifyingly easily feel empty and grey too. Now we need to be cautious. It is dangerous dealing with an angry dog, or trying so save a drowning person or rescuing someone floating off into space. We cannot do it alone and we cannot do it without experts. But the first step is to shout, or speak or whisper: ‘Hello’. ‘I’m here’. ‘I’ll get help’. Without fear or judgement or discrimination. But with the deep understanding that being human is a treacherous thing. And recalling the times when a safe, strong hand reached out to pull us away from danger. Because you see, we are all vulnerable to being followed by a black dog. Or being washed away by a wave. Or being consumed by The Nothing.

Grab hold of the stretched out hand

What makes us human is our vulnerability. To diseases of the body. And diseases of the mind. And what makes us human is our willingness to see our own vulnerabilities in others. I will reach out and help you because I too have needed help. So this World Suicide Prevention Day let us tame black dogs and send life rafts out to stormy seas. Let us be the solid ground to tether those who are floating away into outer space. And when we find ourselves followed or drowning or adrift – let us too reach past the snarling and swirling and emptiness to touch the outstretched hands of those who are here for us. Because they are here. We are right here. But in order to be rescued from the attacking beast, or the crashing waves or the airlessness of space, you have to grab hold of the hand stretched out toward you.

If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings of depression please tell someone you trust how you feel and make contact with one of the 24-hour support lines such as The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) (+27 800-567-567) or LifeLine (+27 861-322-322).

Also take a look at these websites:

News Archive

Qwaqwa Campus opens: Prof. PA Mbati's speech

2005-01-22

Official welcome speech by Prof. PA Mbati for 2005 first year students held on Saturday 22nd January 2005. Program Director, The Chief Director Operations Rev. Kiepi Jaftha, Dean of Students Dr. Natie Luyt, Program Head of the Faculty of Humanities, Dr. Elias Malete, Program Head of Faculty of Natural and Agricultural Sciences, Prof. Riaan Luyt, Acting Program Head of the Faculty of Economics and Management Sciences Prof. Andries Venter, Deputy Director Student Affairs Mr. Teboho Manchu, Coordinator Finance: Mrs. Elizabeth Nchapi, Senior Librarian Mr. Stoffel Kok, Senior Magistrate Mr Saul Mohosho, SRC President Mr. Tello Motloung, members of staff, invited guests, parents, guardians, my dear students, ladies and gentlemen.

It is indeed my pleasure to welcome you to the official welcoming ceremony of the UFS-Qwaqwa Campus 2005 first year students. Our Rector and Vice Chancellor Professor Frederick has requested me to pass to you his warmest wishes and regards on this special occasion. I am confident that the orientation exercise in which you have participated has achieved the desired effect of introducing you to your new way of life here on campus, and that you are now sufficiently prepared to get on with the rigors of being a student at this University.

Following the restructuring of the higher education landscape, the Qwaqwa campus was incorporated into the University of the Free State with effect from January 1 2003 . As a consequence, Management was faced with a whole complex series of challenges including, primarily making the campus financially viable, but also ensuring that it remains relevant in it’s core business as a satellite campus of the University of the Free State in terms of its teaching, learning, research and community service responsibilities.

A whole series of strategic planning workshops were conducted last year with both internal and external stakeholders. Various important strategic objectives were flagged out, and the next level of consultation will take place soon. I know that there is a lot of eagerness, sometimes to the level of impatience to see this process completed as quickly as possible. But again on the other hand, due to the far reaching consequences of any hasty decisions, plus the need for a carefully planned process, we need to be a little more patient before the implementation of the strategic objectives is implemented. You will be kept informed as this important and critical aspect in the evolution of our campus takes place.

As a response to the need for a more effective governance model on the Qwaqwa campus, a review of the governance structure was completed towards the end of 2004 and will soon serve before the Executive of the Executive Management for approval.

Due to the importance that top management attaches to the development of an effective governance on the Qwaqwa campus, the process was facilitated by an internationally acclaimed consultant. Again the contents of the revised governance model will be made known to the campus and the broader community once it is approved.

I am glad to report that in recognition of the need to improve the infrastructure on campus to provide a conducive learning atmosphere to our students, a total of 8.2 million rands was made available towards the end of 2004 for recapitalization of specifically our student residences and lecture venues. The first phase of the residence renovation is completed and residences C, D and E have now been officially handed over to the University by the Contractor. Among the features of the renovated residences is that they will now computer rooms, kitchenettes for cooking, and a redesigned TV room. The rooms have even been fitted with heaters. Our challenge will now be to maintain our newly acquired facilities and to ensure that they do not again deteriorate to an un-acceptable level. The second phase of renovation will start soon.

As indicated in my address during the orientation week, our obligation to you as a campus is to offer you quality training to the best of our ability, and to disseminate this knowledge to you within a conducive atmosphere worthy of good learning. On the other hand, our students have to take advantage of this opportunity to acquire the necessary skills and training in the various academic programs that we offer on campus.

We have a very simple agenda on this campus – our vision is to continuously strive to build and develop the Qwaqwa campus of University of the Free State into a truly quality institution of higher learning in our country. To develop a tradition and culture in which we are proud of who we are, and constantly and tirelessly working towards excellence in our academic programs, and other non-academic but core and important aspects in your growth and development such as sport and community service. To nurture young conscientious citizens who are aware of their duties and responsibilities. Ultimately to produce hard working young people who fully exploit their potentials, and who will serve this country with diligence when unleashed into the real world in effectively managing their roles and responsibilities in society, whether in private or government civil service.

I would like to encourage that the various stake holders of this campus, the students, academic, administrative and support staff, and our broader community, to work together in harmony for the well being of our campus. For this campus to continue to be relevant in the environment that we find ourselves, there is a need for continuous engagement of its various stake holders, and genuinely listening to each other. We must continuously and regularly keep our feelers on alert in order that we can remain relevant.

I am particularly inviting our parents and guardians, the alumni of this campus, and leaders from our community to join hands with us in seeking solutions to the various challenges that we continue to face on campus. I am open for frank and honest discourse on the best way forward for our campus.

The University of the Free State is committed in making tertiary education accessible to as many students as possible. In this regard, students who do not have the required ‘M’ score to gain entry into main stream classes are given an opportunity to study in the highly successful ‘bridging program’ in which learners are integrated with main stream students but with fewer courses to tackle in order to ensure success. This is done on the premise that such students have the potential to pursue a degree course, and that therefore within a well structured program, they can make a success of their lives.

The University is conscious of the fact that in many instances several academically deserving students fail to be admitted into university due to financial reasons. For students who are academically deserving but who because of reasons of poverty cannot pay the requisite fees, the university is able to assist such students through the National Financial Aid Scheme – commonly known as NSFAS, and University Merit Awards. Other incentives such as Sports bursaries are also available.

Please remember that it is important to balance your life on campus and the phrase ‘a healthy mind in a healthy body’ aptly describes this statement. Ensure that you participate in sport and cultural activities of this campus so that you can develop and strengthen the various God-given talents that you have been blessed with.

A second major ingredient for your success on campus is discipline and respect for rules, policies and procedures that govern the University of the Free State , and respect for your fellow students. Good discipline is a major contributory factor to success in life, and more so in your formative academic life at University. This means for example that you must attend all your lectures, complete your assignments on-time and visit the library frequently. Please manage your time wisely and responsibly. Remember that as a university student, you are basically the master and architect of your own destiny.

Think very carefully when you are confronted with difficult situations, be they negative peer pressure, or temptations to indulge in intoxicating drugs, and make the right choice.

The University has well trained personnel including a social worker, a psychologist and counselor, and members of the student affairs division under the leadership of Mr. Teboho Manchu, Deputy Director Student Affairs, who are available to assist whenever you require their help.

Today is also a special day because we have officially inaugurated the SRC President and the rest of the SRC leadership. I am sure that you all join me in congratulating the SRC for being elected to their leadership roles for 2005. Mr. SRC president and your team, please remember that you now have a huge responsibility in carrying out the aspirations of the student body on campus. I want to wish you luck and success as you champion the rights of your constituents, which I believe and trust will be compatible with management’s expectations with regard to quality teaching and learning on campus. As you are aware, Management values the input that the student leadership makes in the operational management of the affairs of this campus, and we look forward to a cordial, non-confrontational working relationship with a view of rendering un-paralleled service on campus.

Mr. Program Director, allow me to wish everyone here a successful and prosperous year. May the good Lord give us the strength and courage to overcome any obstacle that may be placed in our way in the course of our work in 2005.

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