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From rejection to resilience: Divine Bitalo’s journey to graduation and growth

09 April 2025 | Story Anthony Mthembu | Photo Supplied

Divine Wayela Bitalo — Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), graduates with a Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology during the UFS April 2025 graduations.

In what she describes as the result of ‘’being curious enough to see if it will all work out’’, Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), is set to walk across the graduation stage in the Callie Human Centre on 9 April 2025. Bitalo will receive her Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology, joining three other students in her category during the April graduation ceremony.

A journey through rejection and reflection

While this milestone is one of great joy and fulfilment, it follows three challenging years marked by repeated rejections. Bitalo shared that she had applied to several institutions for a place in a master's programme – but each application was met with disappointment.

“That period made me question my inherent worth and whether I was meant to be doing the work which I so deeply wanted to do,’’ she recalled. The impact on her mental health was profound, as she could not practice as a Counselling Psychologist without a master’s qualification.

Everything changed when she received her acceptance letter from the UFS. That moment, she said, was filled with immense gratitude and marked the turning point in her academic and personal journey.

Lessons from a season of waiting

Bitalo believes the setbacks taught her valuable life lessons. “It shattered the mentality that there’s only one way to achieve your goals or live your life,” she said. ‘’Had I moved straight from my honours to my master’s, I would have retained that rigid thinking - and I don’t think I would have developed the capacity to understand that human beings are fallible.”

She went on to share a deeply personal insight: “There is no one scripture, no single speech, or perfect word of encouragement that can magically fix everything. Sometimes, we just have to sit with the uncertainty and wait to see if we make it.”

The period of waiting, she said, also shaped the kind of professional she is becoming. “The patients I now see benefit from a better version of me - one who has walked through uncertainty and has come out stronger on the other side.”

Research, recognition and a PhD

As part of her master’s programme, Bitalo produced a research thesis titled Fatherhood, manhood, and personhood: South African fathers’ experiences of parental identity development. The study, which has since been published by Taylor & Francis, explores how South African men understand and interpret fatherhood.

‘’There was a time when fatherhood was primarily about provision and protection. Today, a new generation of fathers is bringing tenderness and emotional care into the role,” she explained. “My study looks at how we can marry these two approaches.’’

Now having completed her master’s degree, Bitalo is already working towards a PhD focused on emerging adulthood, with particular attention to the markers of adulthood in the South African context.

Looking back, she views her graduation as a powerful symbol of resilience and faith. “Walking across that stage represents more than just academic achievement – it’s proof that sometimes things really do work out, even when everything around you suggests otherwise.”

News Archive

UFS can lead SA in race relations - Ramphele

2010-08-06

Pictured are: Dr Boesak and Dr Ramphele
Photo: Mangaliso Radebe

The University of the Free State (UFS) could well be a perfect model of excellence in race relations that the whole of South Africa could emulate.

This was said by Dr Mamphela Ramphele, the first African to be a Managing Director of the World Bank, during the Anti-Racism Network in Higher Education (ARNHE) Colloquium held at the UFS recently.

“Healing circles need to be constructed on this campus to address issues raised by the Reitz incident,” she said.

“You might yet be the pioneer of what needs to happen on a nation-wide level.

“Can we confidently commit today to go on this quest for a true humanity and walk together as fellow citizens and strive for a more human face for our society? That is our challenge. That is what the UFS is called to give leadership to.”

“It is this human face which has the power to liberate us from the body of death and strengthen us in our struggle for meaningful life together in South Africa,” added one of the main speakers, Dr Allan Boesak, a cleric and former anti-apartheid activist.

However, said Dr Ramphele, this could only be achieved if all South Africans, black and white, abandoned the fear for each other that was hindering, if not stalling, progress in this regard.

“Fear of each other is the most important impediment to the sustainability of our journey into a society united in our diversity,” she said.

“People in this country are afraid to stand up and be counted, including many vice-chancellors and clerics. They are afraid of being seen to be difficult, and that is a major problem. Fear is the most destructive emotion that you can have because it makes you really incompetent and unable to respond to challenges.”

She said the biggest impediment, though, to ending racism was denial. “White people deny vehemently that they are or have ever been racist,” she said.

“We need to go through a process of acknowledging our wounds and scars from our racist past and present missteps in public policy.”

“Instead of saying they are sorry, those who are conscious of their whiteness should rather say what they are sorry for,” said another main speaker, Prof. Dennis Francis, the Dean of the Faculty of Education at the UFS.

On the other hand, according to Dr Boesak, blacks were and still are, to a large extent, also to blame for their own ongoing oppression. “The key here was the acknowledgement of our sheepish timidity, our complicity,” he said.

The Chairperson of ARNHE, Prof. Norman Duncan, had this to say: “If we are to confront and eradicate racism in higher education institutions, we should not do so to create comfort zones for ourselves.”

The theme of this ARNHE Colloquium was Black consciousness and those conscious of their whiteness. It was presented by the International Institute for Studies in Race, Reconciliation and Social Justice at the UFS.

Media Release:
Mangaliso Radebe
Assistant Director: Media Liaison
Tel: 051 401 2828
Cell: 078 460 3320
E-mail: radebemt@ufs.ac.za
6 August 2010

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