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09 April 2025 | Story Anthony Mthembu | Photo Supplied
Divine Wayela Bitalo
Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), graduates with a Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology during the UFS April 2025 graduations.

In what she describes as the result of ‘’being curious enough to see if it will all work out’’, Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), is set to walk across the graduation stage in the Callie Human Centre on 9 April 2025. Bitalo will receive her Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology, joining three other students in her category during the April graduation ceremony. 

 

A journey through rejection and reflection 

While this milestone is one of great joy and fulfilment, it follows three challenging years marked by repeated rejections. Bitalo shared that she had applied to several institutions for a place in a master's programme – but each application was met with disappointment. 

“That period made me question my inherent worth and whether I was meant to be doing the work which I so deeply wanted to do,’’ she recalled.  The impact on her mental health was profound, as she could not practice as a Counselling Psychologist without a master’s qualification. 

Everything changed when she received her acceptance letter from the UFS. That moment, she said, was filled with immense gratitude and marked the turning point in her academic and personal journey.   

 

Lessons from a season of waiting 

Bitalo believes the setbacks taught her valuable life lessons. “It shattered the mentality that there’s only one way to achieve your goals or live your life,” she said. ‘’Had I moved straight from my honours to my master’s, I would have retained that rigid thinking -  and I don’t think I would have developed the capacity to understand that human beings are fallible.” 

She went on to share a deeply personal insight: “There is no one scripture, no single speech, or perfect word of encouragement that can magically fix everything. Sometimes, we just have to sit with the uncertainty and wait to see if we make it.” 

The period of waiting, she said, also shaped the kind of professional she is becoming. “The patients I now see benefit from a better version of me - one who has walked through uncertainty and has come out stronger on the other side.”  

 

Research, recognition and a PhD

As part of her master’s programme, Bitalo produced a research thesis titled Fatherhood, manhood, and personhood: South African fathers’ experiences of parental identity development. The study, which has since been published by Taylor & Francis, explores how South African men understand and interpret fatherhood. 

‘’There was a time when fatherhood was primarily about provision and protection. Today, a new generation of fathers is bringing tenderness and emotional care into the role,” she explained. “My study looks at how we can marry these two approaches.’’ 

Now having completed her master’s degree, Bitalo is already working towards a PhD focused on emerging adulthood, with particular attention to the markers of adulthood in the South African context.

Looking back, she views her graduation as a powerful symbol of resilience and faith. “Walking across that stage represents more than just academic achievement – it’s proof that sometimes things really do work out, even when everything around you suggests otherwise.”  

News Archive

Doing what must be done – Fourth Reconciliation Lecture by Colm McGivern
2015-03-17

Colm McGivern
Photo: Johan Roux

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Fourth Reconciliation Lecture: Audio

McGivern: speech (pdf)

The UFS Annual Reconciliation Lecture brings leaders, scholars, and the broader community together in a shared vision for social change and conflict transformation. This event is organised by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies. In 2012, Nadine Gordimer, Nobel Prize Laureate for Literature, was the first speaker to deliver the lecture. This year, at the Fourth Annual Reconciliation Lecture held on the Bloemfontein Campus, Colm McGivern, Director of the British Council in South Africa, continued the legacy.

Doing what must be done
'I get down on my knees and do what must be done
And kiss Achilles' hand, the killer of my son.'
(Ceasefire by Michael Longley)

Using this poem to powerful effect, McGivern showed what reconciliation asks of each and every citizen: to do what must be done. “I think that peace and reconciliation are mutually dependent,” he said. “You can’t maintain one over the long run without attending to the other.”

South Africa’s history has tracked along a similar path to that of Northern Ireland. “And lessons from other places can be powerful and instructive,” McGivern said. Sometimes reconciliation needs a focal point for people to clearly see its power, as Madiba has for South Africa. But at other times, reconciliation needs everyday citizens to “kiss Achilles’ hand’”.

McGivern mentioned Candice Mama and her family, who  have recently forgiven Eugene de Kock,. Or as Gordon Wilson did after his daughter, Mary, died holding his hand in the 1987 Enniskillen bombing in Ireland. In a TV interview mere hours later, Wilson forgave the killers of his daughter, and  hope rippled across Ireland.

Learning from others
“People’s capability,” McGivern said, “to reconcile their own differences, however stark, can be boosted by learning from others in other places, internationally or perhaps just beyond their own identity group.” A powerful truth now being pursued in a joined initiative between the British Council and Teaching Divided Histories.

As an example, McGivern referred to the short film, ‘In Peace Apart’ where one Catholic and one Protestant girl decide to swop school uniforms. Harnessing the potential of moving images and digital media, the initiative enables teachers to explore contentious issues of history and identity in the classroom. This international field of conflict education draws lessons “from activities in Sierra Leone, India, Lebanon, and, of course, South Africa.”

Resuscitation of the national spirit of magnanimity
Here in South Africa, Archbishop Desmund Tutu has “called for a resuscitation of the national spirit of magnanimity and common purpose”, McGivern quoted. In the book, 80 Moments that Shaped the World, South Africa appears four times, McGivern pointed out. And as Archbishop Tutu wrote in the foreword of the book, “no act is unforgivable; no person or country is beyond redemption and the world needs more people to reach out to one another.”

 

For more information or enquiries contact news@ufs.ac.za.

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