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09 April 2025 | Story Anthony Mthembu | Photo Supplied
Divine Wayela Bitalo
Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), graduates with a Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology during the UFS April 2025 graduations.

In what she describes as the result of ‘’being curious enough to see if it will all work out’’, Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), is set to walk across the graduation stage in the Callie Human Centre on 9 April 2025. Bitalo will receive her Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology, joining three other students in her category during the April graduation ceremony. 

 

A journey through rejection and reflection 

While this milestone is one of great joy and fulfilment, it follows three challenging years marked by repeated rejections. Bitalo shared that she had applied to several institutions for a place in a master's programme – but each application was met with disappointment. 

“That period made me question my inherent worth and whether I was meant to be doing the work which I so deeply wanted to do,’’ she recalled.  The impact on her mental health was profound, as she could not practice as a Counselling Psychologist without a master’s qualification. 

Everything changed when she received her acceptance letter from the UFS. That moment, she said, was filled with immense gratitude and marked the turning point in her academic and personal journey.   

 

Lessons from a season of waiting 

Bitalo believes the setbacks taught her valuable life lessons. “It shattered the mentality that there’s only one way to achieve your goals or live your life,” she said. ‘’Had I moved straight from my honours to my master’s, I would have retained that rigid thinking -  and I don’t think I would have developed the capacity to understand that human beings are fallible.” 

She went on to share a deeply personal insight: “There is no one scripture, no single speech, or perfect word of encouragement that can magically fix everything. Sometimes, we just have to sit with the uncertainty and wait to see if we make it.” 

The period of waiting, she said, also shaped the kind of professional she is becoming. “The patients I now see benefit from a better version of me - one who has walked through uncertainty and has come out stronger on the other side.”  

 

Research, recognition and a PhD

As part of her master’s programme, Bitalo produced a research thesis titled Fatherhood, manhood, and personhood: South African fathers’ experiences of parental identity development. The study, which has since been published by Taylor & Francis, explores how South African men understand and interpret fatherhood. 

‘’There was a time when fatherhood was primarily about provision and protection. Today, a new generation of fathers is bringing tenderness and emotional care into the role,” she explained. “My study looks at how we can marry these two approaches.’’ 

Now having completed her master’s degree, Bitalo is already working towards a PhD focused on emerging adulthood, with particular attention to the markers of adulthood in the South African context.

Looking back, she views her graduation as a powerful symbol of resilience and faith. “Walking across that stage represents more than just academic achievement – it’s proof that sometimes things really do work out, even when everything around you suggests otherwise.”  

News Archive

Prof Antjie Krog speaks on verbalising revulsion and the collusion of men
2015-06-26

From the left are Prof Lucius Botes, UFS: Dean of the Faculty of the Humanities; Prof Helene Strauss, UFS: Department of English; Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, UFS: Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies; Prof Antjie Krog, UCT: Department Afrikaans and Dutch; Dr Buhle Zuma, UCT: Department of Psychology. Both Prof Strauss and Dr Zuma are partners in the Mellon Foundation research project.

“This is one of the bitterest moments I have ever endured. I would rather see my daughter carried away as a corpse than see her raped like this.”

This is one of 32 testimonies that were locked away quietly in 1902. These documents, part of the NC Havenga collection, contain the testimonies of Afrikaner women describing their experiences of sexual assault and rape at the hands of British soldiers during the South African War.

This cluster of affidavits formed the foundation of a public lecture that Prof Antjie Krog delivered at the University of the Free State’s (UFS) Bloemfontein Campus on Tuesday 23 June 2015. The lecture, entitled ‘They Couldn’t Achieve their Goal with Me: Narrating Rape during the South African War’, was the third instalment in the Vice-Chancellor’s Lecture Series on Trauma, Memory, and Representations of the Past. The series is hosted by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Senior Research Professor in Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies at the UFS, as part of a five-year research project funded by the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation.

Verbalising revulsion

The testimonies were taken down during the last two months of the war, and “some of the women still had marks and bruises on their bodies as evidence,” Prof Krog said. The victims’ words, on the other hand, struggled to express the story their bodies told.

What are the nouns for that which one sees? What words are permissible in front of men? How does one process revulsion verbally? These are the barriers the victims – raised with Victorian reserve – faced while trying to express their trauma, Prof Krog explained.

The collusion of men

When the war ended, there was a massive drive to reconcile the Boers and the British. “Within this process of letting bygones be bygones,” Prof Krog said, “affidavits of severe violations by white men had no place. Through the collusion of men, prioritising reconciliation between two white male hierarchies, these affidavits were shelved, and, finally, had to suffer an embargo.”

“It is only when South Africa accepted a constitution based on equality and safety from violence,” Prof Krog said, “that the various levels of deeply-rooted brutality, violence, and devastation of men against the vulnerable in society seemed to burst like an evil boil into the open, leaving South African aghast in its toxic suppurations. As if, for many decades, we did not know it was there and multiplied.”

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