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09 April 2025 | Story Anthony Mthembu | Photo Supplied
Divine Wayela Bitalo
Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), graduates with a Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology during the UFS April 2025 graduations.

In what she describes as the result of ‘’being curious enough to see if it will all work out’’, Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), is set to walk across the graduation stage in the Callie Human Centre on 9 April 2025. Bitalo will receive her Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology, joining three other students in her category during the April graduation ceremony. 

 

A journey through rejection and reflection 

While this milestone is one of great joy and fulfilment, it follows three challenging years marked by repeated rejections. Bitalo shared that she had applied to several institutions for a place in a master's programme – but each application was met with disappointment. 

“That period made me question my inherent worth and whether I was meant to be doing the work which I so deeply wanted to do,’’ she recalled.  The impact on her mental health was profound, as she could not practice as a Counselling Psychologist without a master’s qualification. 

Everything changed when she received her acceptance letter from the UFS. That moment, she said, was filled with immense gratitude and marked the turning point in her academic and personal journey.   

 

Lessons from a season of waiting 

Bitalo believes the setbacks taught her valuable life lessons. “It shattered the mentality that there’s only one way to achieve your goals or live your life,” she said. ‘’Had I moved straight from my honours to my master’s, I would have retained that rigid thinking -  and I don’t think I would have developed the capacity to understand that human beings are fallible.” 

She went on to share a deeply personal insight: “There is no one scripture, no single speech, or perfect word of encouragement that can magically fix everything. Sometimes, we just have to sit with the uncertainty and wait to see if we make it.” 

The period of waiting, she said, also shaped the kind of professional she is becoming. “The patients I now see benefit from a better version of me - one who has walked through uncertainty and has come out stronger on the other side.”  

 

Research, recognition and a PhD

As part of her master’s programme, Bitalo produced a research thesis titled Fatherhood, manhood, and personhood: South African fathers’ experiences of parental identity development. The study, which has since been published by Taylor & Francis, explores how South African men understand and interpret fatherhood. 

‘’There was a time when fatherhood was primarily about provision and protection. Today, a new generation of fathers is bringing tenderness and emotional care into the role,” she explained. “My study looks at how we can marry these two approaches.’’ 

Now having completed her master’s degree, Bitalo is already working towards a PhD focused on emerging adulthood, with particular attention to the markers of adulthood in the South African context.

Looking back, she views her graduation as a powerful symbol of resilience and faith. “Walking across that stage represents more than just academic achievement – it’s proof that sometimes things really do work out, even when everything around you suggests otherwise.”  

News Archive

Forgive and forget? Or remember and retaliate?
2015-10-08

Cover of the novel Kamphoer

Fact and fiction came together at the Bloemfontein Campus recently to discuss the traumatic repercussions of the South African War. The event forms part of a three-year project – headed by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela (University of the Free State Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies) – which investigates transgenerational trauma in the aftermath of the South African War.

The discussion explored the theme, ‘Working through the Past: Reflections on the novel Kamphoer’.

Together, Emeritus Prof Chris van der Merwe (University of Cape Town) and the author of the novel, Dr Francois Smith (University of the Free State, Department Afrikaans and Dutch, German and French), engaged in a thought-provoking, insightful conversation, tracing themes of trauma and issues of forgiveness presented in Kamphoer. Prof Van der Merwe and Dr Smith demonstrated how both fiction and historical fact can inform our present, and guide us into the future.

Emeritus Prof Chris van der Merwe and Dr Francois Smith
discuss the novel Kamphoer and how the book relates to
current issues of transgenerational trauma.

“On a societal level,” Prof Van der Merwe said, “we need to work through trauma by putting it into words, and putting it into a narrative.” When it comes to historical trauma, should we forgive and forget, though? Or rather remember and retaliate? Neither, proposed Prof Van der Merwe. “What I want to plead for is the difficult challenge: remember and forgive.” But Prof Van der Merwe also pointed out that, although forgiveness blesses both the giver and receiver, it is an ongoing process.

Dr Smith agreed wholeheartedly. “One of the discoveries of my book is that forgiving is a continuous process. It’s not something that gets completed at a particular stage in your life. By the same token, you can’t say that you are ever able to leave the past behind.” These issues of trauma, forgiveness, the past versus the present, remembering and forgetting are all integral questions confronting the main character of the novel, Susan Nel .

They are also questions we, as a nation, are currently confronted with, too.

“At this moment in our society,” Prof Van der Merwe said, “we have enough killers. We have a greater need now for caring nurturers.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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