EDITION 9: Resilient Warriors are created in Times of War, Not PeaceYou have two choices when faced with adversity. One, you can let it define you and your life, or two, you can use it to contribute to your personal growth and development.
The most resilient people are often those who have experienced many difficulties in their lives. No one is exempt from adversities. Nobody can avoid pain and discomfort, although it is a normal human reaction to try. It is more helpful to develop resilience, instead of trying to falsely hope that nothing bad will ever happen to us.
Studies show that resilient people can manage their emotions, keep calm in difficult situations, and seek opportunities for growth. Instead of asking “why me?” ask, “what can I learn from this?”
Methods to build resilience
1. Self-regulation
Self-regulation means controlling one’s behaviour, emotions, and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals. A resilient person still feels pain and negative emotions, they are just able to choose healthier ways of dealing with it.
For example, instead of binge drinking after an academic or romantic disappointment, you choose to rather reach out to your support system or reflect on what worked and what didn’t.
2. Cognitive flexibility
Cognitive flexibility is mental shifting that allows you to adapt quickly to changes or new situations. Now more than ever, we need to be able to adapt to our constantly changing situation. Being flexible, means you are able to look at difficulties from a different perspective.
3. Hope (it's not only a feeling, it is an action)
Many people think of hope as an emotional state. In many ways this is not incorrect, but it is not completely correct either. Although feelings are essential in the process of hope, so too are action and thinking.
Desmond Tutu once said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”
4. An Attitude of Gratitude
Developing an attitude of gratitude holds the potential for building your resilience during difficult times, as well as making you a generally happier person. In fact, research shows that gratitude can improve relationships, increase physical and psychological health, improve sleep, increase self-esteem, increase empathy, reduce aggression, and build mental strength.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Once a week, write in a gratitude journal, highlighting three to five people, activities, situations, or things that you appreciated during the week.
Here are some tips to help you with your gratitude journal:
PROTIP 1: Be specific: Reflect on your week and visualise the person, act, event, or thing you are grateful for. Recount specific details, words, or actions, and how it felt.
PROTIP 2: Focus on people you are grateful for, rather than things. This tends to elicit greater gratitude rewards than when we express gratitude for inanimate objects.
PROTIP 3: Consider how things could potentially be worse. Focusing on why something could be worse leads to gratitude.
Resilience is about preparing ourselves. Like a tree that continuously grows its roots stronger and deeper to withstand eventual storms and gales, it takes deliberate mental and external action and commitment on our part to build resilience. There are many different ways to cultivate resilience, mostly you need to utilise the power of your mind and the energy of your soul. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
For more information on how to build resilience, read edition 9 #WellBeingWarriors below.
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