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22 October 2020 | Story Emma Morape | Photo Supplied
Emma Morape, who battled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, believes it is important to love and be kind to yourself. She urges others to remember that they are loved and appreciated.

I am Emerentia Morape, mostly known as Emma. I am 21 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have been battling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Since Grade 7, I have had problems with my identity, body, and attempting suicide. I have spent years overdosing on pills and trying other methods to kill myself. In the darkest years of my life, I resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pressures of varsity, family, wrong friendships, body changes, and getting into toxic relationships.

However, those dark years did have some light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was the very good friends that I made when I arrived on campus. For the first time in my life, I could open up to people about the pain and struggles that I am going through without feeling judged, and they advised me to see a psychologist to get professional help. So, I went to Student Counselling and Development, talked to a psychologist, and started feeling better. The only problem was that I thought depression was something that could be fixed quickly by talking to someone and then life goes back to normal. So, as quickly as I got better, I ended up in a darker depressive hole. 

I then started seeing Dr Melissa Barnaschone at Student Counselling and Development and attended well-being workshops. I attended the Self-Esteem Programme, the GROW programme, and the REBT Programme, which helped me deal with my anger. Lize Wolmarans, also from Student Counselling and Development, really helped a lot with the GROW and Self-Esteem programmes.

I was in a safe environment where I could have my own opinion and could curse and cry as much as I wanted to. I keep the book and notes from the workshops with me for when I go through horrible episodes of anxiety, self-acceptance, and those ‘I do not want to see or talk to anyone’ days; it really helps me to get back into perspective and give me a sense of hope for the future. Being able to talk to Dr Barnaschone and my lecturer, Dr Visser, about anything that I experience – personal or professional – and being able to ask for guidance and not feel judged, has been the greatest help this year, including the struggles of the pandemic.

I am also a rapper and songwriter; so, through Dr Barnaschone, I have been able to go back to my passion and write songs about my depression and growth. It has allowed me to be a better version of myself. I have been able to record and perform these songs and use them as a tool on my journey of peace.

Hope, to me, means peace through the storm, because hope does not mean that everything is perfect; it is keeping the faith when you are walking through the fire and believing that you will make it to the end. On your journey to find yourself and peace, you will be victorious. I remain hopeful, because every time I look back on my life thinking of the pain and heartache I went through, I find a glimmer of hope knowing that I have been through hell and still made it out; so, I can conquer whatever struggles come my way.

My message to the UFS community and humanity is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel every emotion and pain you experience. The grass is always greener on the other side, so do not be shy or scared to speak out and get help. Talk to trusted friends and family about anything that you are experiencing and is overwhelming you, even if it is just to vent. 

Talk to a psychologist or social worker, attend as many mental-health workshops as you can, read about mental health. Even though it is not something you are experiencing personally, you might be able to help someone close to you and save a life. And remember to live a healthy, balanced life, meditate as much as you can, spend time with yourself.

Most importantly, love and be kind to yourself! Remember that you are loved and appreciated, even by people that you do not know; so, keep your head up and spread light, love, and positivity.

News Archive

Bullying in schools: Everyone’s problem
2005-06-03

From left:  Prof Gerhardt de Klerk, Dean: Faculty of the Humanities; Prof Corene de Wet; Prof Rita Niemann, Head of the Department of Comparative Education and Educational Management in the School of Education and Prof Frederick Fourie, Rector and Vice-Chancellor of the UFS

It is not only learners who are the victums of bullying in schools, but also the teachers. Prof. Corene de Wet from the Department Comparative Education and Educational Management at the University of the Free State reported, against the background of two studies on bullying in Free State secondary schools, that bullying is a general phenomena in these schools.

Prof. de Wet, who delivered her inaugural lecture on Wednesday night, is from the Department Comparative Education and Educational Management which resorts under the School of Education at the University of the Free State. She is the first women who became a full professor the School of Education.

Prof. de Wet says, “A student is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative action on the part of one or more students. Bullying always includes the intentional use of aggression, an unbalanced relationship of power between the bully and the victim, and the causing of physical pain and/or emotional misery.

In some Free State schools there are victims and perpetrators of direct and indirect verbal, as well as emotional, physical and sexual bullying.

“Adults who say that bullying are part of the growing-up process and parents who set not only academic expectations but also social expectations to their children cause that victims are unwilling to acknowledge that they are being bulled. Many parents are also unaware of the levels of bullying their children are exposed to.

“Some of the learners were at least once a month the victim of direct verbal harassment, 32,45% were assaulted by co-learners and 11,21% of them were at east once per week beat, kicked, pushed and hurt in any other physical way. Free State learners are very vulnerable to bullies at taxis and on the school yard they are mostly exposed to bullies in bathrooms.

“Learners are usually bullied by members of the same gender. However, racial composition also plays a role in some Free State schools. A grade 12 girl writes, ‘There are boys in my school who act means against black people. When the teacher is out they take a red pen and write on the projector and spray it with spirits. It looks like blood and they would say it is AIDS and my friends and I have it.’

“Educators must take note of bullying in schools and must not shrug it off as unimportant. Principals or educators could be find guilty of negligence. A large number of educator respondents, 88,29%, indicated that they would intervene in cases of verbal bullying and 89,71% would intervene if they saw learners being physically bullied. However, only 19,97% of the learners who were victims of bullying were helped by educators/ other adults from their respective schools.

“The learners’ lack of trust in their educators’ abilities and willingness to assist them in the fight against bullying has important implications for education institutions. The importance of training must be emphasised.

Learners bully their educators to undermine their confidence. In Prof. de Wet’s study on educator-targeted bullying in Free State schools 24,85% of the respondents were physically abused by their learners, 33,44% were the victims of indirect verbal bullying, and 18,1% were at one time or another sexually harassed by their learners. These learner offences may lead to suspension.

“Educators are not only victims of bullying; some of them are the bullies. The South African Council for Educators prohibits bullying by educators. It is worrying that 55,83% of the educators who participated in the research project verbally victimised learners, 50,31% physically assaulted learners and a small percentage was guilty of sexual harassment.

“Every educator and learner in South Africa has the right to life, equal protection and benefit of the law, of dignity, as well as of freedom and security of the person. These rights will only be realised in a bully-free school milieu.

“To oppose bullying a comprehensive anti-bullying programme, collective responsibility and the establishment of a caring culture at schools and in the community is necessary,” said Prof. de Wet.
 

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