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09 April 2025 | Story Anthony Mthembu | Photo Supplied
Divine Wayela Bitalo
Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), graduates with a Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology during the UFS April 2025 graduations.

In what she describes as the result of ‘’being curious enough to see if it will all work out’’, Divine Bitalo, Counselling Psychologist and PhD student at the University of the Free State (UFS), is set to walk across the graduation stage in the Callie Human Centre on 9 April 2025. Bitalo will receive her Master of Social Science in Counselling Psychology, joining three other students in her category during the April graduation ceremony. 

 

A journey through rejection and reflection 

While this milestone is one of great joy and fulfilment, it follows three challenging years marked by repeated rejections. Bitalo shared that she had applied to several institutions for a place in a master's programme – but each application was met with disappointment. 

“That period made me question my inherent worth and whether I was meant to be doing the work which I so deeply wanted to do,’’ she recalled.  The impact on her mental health was profound, as she could not practice as a Counselling Psychologist without a master’s qualification. 

Everything changed when she received her acceptance letter from the UFS. That moment, she said, was filled with immense gratitude and marked the turning point in her academic and personal journey.   

 

Lessons from a season of waiting 

Bitalo believes the setbacks taught her valuable life lessons. “It shattered the mentality that there’s only one way to achieve your goals or live your life,” she said. ‘’Had I moved straight from my honours to my master’s, I would have retained that rigid thinking -  and I don’t think I would have developed the capacity to understand that human beings are fallible.” 

She went on to share a deeply personal insight: “There is no one scripture, no single speech, or perfect word of encouragement that can magically fix everything. Sometimes, we just have to sit with the uncertainty and wait to see if we make it.” 

The period of waiting, she said, also shaped the kind of professional she is becoming. “The patients I now see benefit from a better version of me - one who has walked through uncertainty and has come out stronger on the other side.”  

 

Research, recognition and a PhD

As part of her master’s programme, Bitalo produced a research thesis titled Fatherhood, manhood, and personhood: South African fathers’ experiences of parental identity development. The study, which has since been published by Taylor & Francis, explores how South African men understand and interpret fatherhood. 

‘’There was a time when fatherhood was primarily about provision and protection. Today, a new generation of fathers is bringing tenderness and emotional care into the role,” she explained. “My study looks at how we can marry these two approaches.’’ 

Now having completed her master’s degree, Bitalo is already working towards a PhD focused on emerging adulthood, with particular attention to the markers of adulthood in the South African context.

Looking back, she views her graduation as a powerful symbol of resilience and faith. “Walking across that stage represents more than just academic achievement – it’s proof that sometimes things really do work out, even when everything around you suggests otherwise.”  

News Archive

But do you forgive yourself, Eugene de Kock? asks Candice Mama
2015-03-16

From the left are: Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, Candice Mama and Prof André Keet, Director of the UFS Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice.
Photo: O'Ryan Heideman

 

Candice Mama: Audio

Candice Mama and her family met with her father’s assassin. Eugene de Kock. Prime Evil. Commander of the apartheid government’s covert Vlakplaas police unit. And what followed from this meeting was one of our country’s most poignant gestures of reconciliation. One by one, each family member expressed their forgiveness of De Kock, and soon afterwards, he was granted parole.

Candice recently visited the Bloemfontein Campus to talk about ‘An Unexpected Encounter with Eugene de Kock: A Journey of Transformation’. The event was a collaborative effort between the Institute for Reconciliation and Social Justice and Trauma, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation Studies.

“What makes it possible to cross the boundary from loss and pain to bond with the person who hurt you?” Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, asked Candice. “I had to educate myself about the when, where, and how, to get a context for Eugene de Kock,” she answered. With the encouragement of her mother, Candice became an avid reader from an early age. She devoured information, so that she could build a picture of this man within a specific historical and political context. What also contributed to this moment of reconciliation for her was De Kock humbling himself and taking full responsibility for his actions.

This meeting was not without inner conflict for Candice, though. “Why am I crying for hím?” she asked herself as she listened to him speak. “Why am I laughing?” she chastised herself as De Kock preened shyly for a group photograph with the family. “Is there something wrong with me to connect with him?” She questioned her values and beliefs. But instead of a monster, Candice saw the true essence of a repentant human being.

But how do you know he didn’t fake it, many people asked. Because it was “one of the most sincere and honest encounters I’ve experienced,” she said. During their meeting, Candice saw a man “crushed by the world”. Everything he believed as a young man, he realised, was a lie.

“Do you forgive yourself?” Candice asked the one question De Kock feared most. And in that moment, he was humanised for her. “When you’ve done the things I’ve done,” De Kock replied, “how do you forgive yourself?”
It remains an open question. But this act of forgiveness gives an entire country hope.

 

For more information or enquiries contact news@ufs.ac.za.

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