Opinion article by Lucy Sehloho, Manager: Arts, Culture & Dialogue - Kovsie Sport, Arts and Culture, Division: Student Affairs
As South Africans return to work and settle back into daily routines, the festive season may feel like it has already slipped into memory. Yet, for many families, the emotional and financial pressures that surfaced during the holidays do not simply disappear. Instead, they linger quietly, carried into the new year alongside expectations of productivity, provision, and resilience.
For many black South African families, money is rarely just money. It is a language shaped by history, love, obligation, and survival. Financial support often carries the weight of generational trauma and the structural inequalities that continue to define our economic reality. While these responsibilities are frequently framed as duty or gratitude, they can also become a source of sustained emotional strain.
This burden often rests silently on the shoulders of sons, brothers, and fathers. Motivated by care and commitment, many men absorb expectations without complaint, even as the pressure erodes their emotional and mental well-being. Cultural narratives that equate strength with endurance and silence leave little room for vulnerability or honest conversation about limits.
When a person’s worth within the family is measured primarily through financial contribution, relationships run the risk of becoming transactional. Presence, care, and emotional availability are sidelined in favour of material support. During the festive season, this dynamic sometimes manifests itself in absence: sending money home instead of returning in person, because financial obligation feels easier to manage than the weight of expectation. After the holidays, the same logic persists, reinforcing distance rather than connection.
Recognising these patterns is not about blame. It is about understanding how personal relationships are shaped by broader economic pressures. As a society, and particularly as an academic community committed to human dignity and well-being, we are called to reflect on what we value and how we show care.
As the year begins, we have an opportunity to rethink what provision means. True support cannot be limited to income alone. It must also include emotional presence, shared responsibility, and psychological safety. Creating space for honest dialogue within families and communities is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of care.
Moving forward, let us resist the idea that strength requires exhaustion. Let us allow one another to be human, to be tired, and to ask for understanding. In doing so, we can begin to rebuild relationships that are grounded not only in obligation, but also in mutual respect, compassion, and connection.