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29 October 2020 | Story Thokozane Ngcongwane | Photo Supplied
Thokozane Ngcongwane recommends that students and staff should actively seek help for their mental-health challenges.

My name is Thokozane Ngcongwane. I coordinate the UFSS1504 module in the Centre for Teaching and Learning (CTL). The journey of struggles and triumphs against mental illness has often peppered my life more than I thought. Having grown up in rural Free State, it was hard for my parents, as well as those around me, to believe that things such as mental illness exist – let alone their own son! 

I grew up with attention-deficit / hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and was admitted numerous times as the illness was misdiagnosed and untreated. This laid the foundation for a childhood filled with amazing feats of energetic activity, but also had the downside of being misunderstood, or ill-treated due to this illness. Before I knew about this illness, I believed that because of my height (I have been given the names ‘Napoleon’ and ‘Goliath’ by various people, throughout) and stature. I was a prime target for bullying. 

Fast forward to university, and with the world as my oyster, I believed I would do well, graduate, and become the scientist I have always dreamed of becoming. Nothing could prepare me for the roller-coaster ride that, even to this day, has taught me highly valuable life lessons that I would never have received anywhere else. I started a degree in Chemistry (Extended) and was doing well in the first year. I was even fortunate enough to be selected for the F1 Leadership for Change exchange programme that took me to the USA. That was an incredible experience. Fast forward to my third year, and things took a turn for the worse. 

By 2013, I started getting panic and anxiety attacks, the origin of which was quite unknown to me at the time. I thought that I was starting to go insane and this caused a huge drop in my academics, as well as distorting my overall view on life. I started refusing to see friends and family and even shunned myself from engaging in academics. This was the start of my battles and little prepared me for the fight ahead. I took a trip outside of my surroundings and became aware of how the people I avoided cared for me, and the result was that I overcame anxiety for that period. Family, friends, and lecturers were supportive and encouraged me to do my best amid this unknown period in my life. My academics improved and I became social again. 

When I thought the worst was behind me, I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). I contacted Student Counselling and Development and received professional assistance. I started feeling better again and was on my way to graduating, albeit the journey was fraught with anxious moments. My graduation was delayed due to a credit shortfall, and this threw me in the deep end once again. This time, I dealt with it better by engaging myself in my passions – sports and the outdoors. I graduated in May 2016 and secured a temporary job as a Science teacher.

I returned home to the Qwaqwa Campus, where I became an intern in CTL. My troubles reached a boiling point in 2019, and I contacted Careways on recommendation of my head of department. It is now 2020, the year of global anxieties. I have learnt that institutions such as the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) are available to help. Higher Health is also available to deal with issues around stigmatisation. In short, seek help and never abandon your support structures. Your mental health matters.

News Archive

“You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance” – Dr Mamphela Ramphele during second Leah Tutu Gender Symposium
2015-02-28

 

From the left are: Samantha van Schalkwyk, Zanele Mbeki, Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela and Dr Mamphela Ramphele.
Photo: Johan Roux

 

Video message from Mrs Leah Tutu

Session 1: Keynote address by Dr Mamphela Ramphele
Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man 

Session 2: Professor Robert Morrell from the University of Cape Town
South African Gender Studies: Setting the context

Session 3: How can we engage young men to act against violence against women?
Panel discussion by Lisa Vetten (Wits Institute for Social and Economic Research), Despina Learmonth (Psychology Department, University of Cape Town) and Wessel van den Berg (Sonke Gender Justice) 

Session 4: Professor Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela
Self-defence as a strategy for women’s resistance: Reflections on the work of Susan Brison
 

Engaging men to act against gender-based violence in the Southern African context.

This was the theme of the second International Leah Tutu Symposium, hosted by the Gender Initiative of Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies of the University of the Free State (UFS) on Tuesday 24 February 2015.

What does it mean to be man? How can men become active in the fight against gender-based violence? And when does one say: enough is enough? Questions like these set the tone as highly-respected individuals such as Dr Mamphela Ramphele, Prof Rob Morrell, Lisa Vetten and Andy Kawa took to the stage in the Odeion on the Bloemfontein Campus.

Leah Tutu
Unfortunately, Mrs Leah Tutu could not attend this year’s event, but she still managed to send sparks of wit and insight into the auditorium. In her video message, Mrs Tutu referred to the fact that our country has “consigned discriminatory legislation to the rubbish bin of the past”, but we continue to inhabit a divided society.

“We have a constitution and bill of rights that should have sounded the death knell for patriarchy. But women are unsafe across the land,” Mrs Tutu said. “Our freedom cost too much to be left out in the rain,” she urged.

Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man
In Dr Ramphele’s keynote address, “Ndiyindoda! Yes, you are a man”, she scrutinised the dominant masculinity model that has supported an alpha-male mentality for millennia. A mentality that celebrates dominance, power and control – where the winner takes it all. How then, can we expect our young boys to embrace the value system of a human rights culture?

“Gender equality is at the heart of our constitutional democratic values. Yet, our society continues to privilege and celebrate the alpha male as a masculinity model,” Dr Ramphele said. This dissonance can only produce conflict and violence.

We encourage our young men to be gentle, communicative, caring people who show their emotions. And when they do, what do we as women do? Do we encourage them?

“Or do we join those who call them wimps, moffies, sissies? How do we respond when they are ridiculed?” Dr Ramphele asked. Are we, as mothers, fathers and grandparents willing to socialise our children to acknowledge a diversity of masculinities as equally valid in our society?

The new man and the new woman of the 21st century need to be liberated from the conflict-ridden dominant masculinity model. They need to be able to shape their identity in line with a value system of human rights as enshrined in our constitution.

Perhaps Dr Ramphele’s message could be summed up by one sentence: You cannot find Ubuntu in a culture of dominance.

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