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29 October 2020 | Story Thokozane Ngcongwane | Photo Supplied
Thokozane Ngcongwane recommends that students and staff should actively seek help for their mental-health challenges.

My name is Thokozane Ngcongwane. I coordinate the UFSS1504 module in the Centre for Teaching and Learning (CTL). The journey of struggles and triumphs against mental illness has often peppered my life more than I thought. Having grown up in rural Free State, it was hard for my parents, as well as those around me, to believe that things such as mental illness exist – let alone their own son! 

I grew up with attention-deficit / hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and was admitted numerous times as the illness was misdiagnosed and untreated. This laid the foundation for a childhood filled with amazing feats of energetic activity, but also had the downside of being misunderstood, or ill-treated due to this illness. Before I knew about this illness, I believed that because of my height (I have been given the names ‘Napoleon’ and ‘Goliath’ by various people, throughout) and stature. I was a prime target for bullying. 

Fast forward to university, and with the world as my oyster, I believed I would do well, graduate, and become the scientist I have always dreamed of becoming. Nothing could prepare me for the roller-coaster ride that, even to this day, has taught me highly valuable life lessons that I would never have received anywhere else. I started a degree in Chemistry (Extended) and was doing well in the first year. I was even fortunate enough to be selected for the F1 Leadership for Change exchange programme that took me to the USA. That was an incredible experience. Fast forward to my third year, and things took a turn for the worse. 

By 2013, I started getting panic and anxiety attacks, the origin of which was quite unknown to me at the time. I thought that I was starting to go insane and this caused a huge drop in my academics, as well as distorting my overall view on life. I started refusing to see friends and family and even shunned myself from engaging in academics. This was the start of my battles and little prepared me for the fight ahead. I took a trip outside of my surroundings and became aware of how the people I avoided cared for me, and the result was that I overcame anxiety for that period. Family, friends, and lecturers were supportive and encouraged me to do my best amid this unknown period in my life. My academics improved and I became social again. 

When I thought the worst was behind me, I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). I contacted Student Counselling and Development and received professional assistance. I started feeling better again and was on my way to graduating, albeit the journey was fraught with anxious moments. My graduation was delayed due to a credit shortfall, and this threw me in the deep end once again. This time, I dealt with it better by engaging myself in my passions – sports and the outdoors. I graduated in May 2016 and secured a temporary job as a Science teacher.

I returned home to the Qwaqwa Campus, where I became an intern in CTL. My troubles reached a boiling point in 2019, and I contacted Careways on recommendation of my head of department. It is now 2020, the year of global anxieties. I have learnt that institutions such as the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) are available to help. Higher Health is also available to deal with issues around stigmatisation. In short, seek help and never abandon your support structures. Your mental health matters.

News Archive

Sites of memory. Sites of trauma. Sites of healing.
2015-04-01

Judge Albie Sachs – human rights activist and co-creator of South Africa’s constitution – presented the first Vice Chancellor’s Lecture on Trauma, Memory, and Representations of the Past on 26 March 2015 on the Bloemfontein Campus.

His lecture, ‘Sites of memory, sites of conscience’, forms part of a series of lectures that will focus on how the creative arts represent trauma and memory – and how these representations may ultimately pave the way to healing historical wounds. This series is incorporated into the five-year research project, led by Prof Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, and funded by the Mellon Foundation.

Sites of memory and conscience – and healing

“Deep in solitary confinement, I read in the Bible: ‘the lion lay down with the lamb … swords will be beaten into ploughshares.’” And with these opening words, Judge Sachs took the audience on a wistful journey to the places in our country that ache from the past but are reaching for a better future at the same time.

Some of the sites of memory and conscience Judge Sachs discussed included the Apartheid Museum, Liliesleaf, District Six Museum, and the Red Location Museum. But perhaps most powerful of them all is Robben Island.

Robben Island

“The strength of Robben Island,” Judge Sachs said, “comes from its isolation. Its quietness speaks”. Former prisoners of the island now accompany visitors on their tours of the site, retelling their personal experiences. It was found that, the quieter the ex-prisoners imparted their stories, “the gentler and softer their memories; the more powerful the impact,” Judge Sachs remarked. Instead of anger and denouncement, this reverence provides a space for visitors’ own emotions to emerge. This intense and powerful site has become a living memory elevated into a place of healing.

After Judge Sachs visited the National Women’s Memorial in Bloemfontein some years ago, he came to an acute realisation as he read the stories, experienced the grief, and saw the small relics that imprisoned commandoes from Ceylon and St Helena sculpted. “It’s so like us,” he thought, “our people on Robben Island making a saxophone out of seaweed, our people carving little things. It was so like us. It was another form of inhumanity to human beings in another period.”

The Constitutional Court

The Constitutional Court next to the Old Fort Prison is also a profound site of trauma and healing. Bricks from the awaiting trial lock-up were built into the court chambers. “We don’t suppress it, we don’t say let’s move on. We acknowledge the pain of the past. We live in it, but we are not trapped in it. We South Africans are capable of transcending, of getting beyond it,” Judge Sachs said.

Transforming swords into ploughshares

Judge Sachs had great praise for Prof Gobodo-Madikizela’s research project on Trauma, Memory, and Representations of the Past. “You convert and transform the very swords, the very instruments, the very metal in our country. In a sense, you almost transform the very people and thoughts and dreams and fears and terrors into the ploughshares; into positivity.”

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